


Helga Unbound

by Polkahotness



Category: Hey Arnold!
Genre: Hey Arnold - The Jungle Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-02-28 14:17:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 63,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polkahotness/pseuds/Polkahotness
Summary: When Arnold finds his parents after years lost in the jungle, his relationship with Helga changes completely. Not only does it grow, but she begins to form a relationship with his parents- one that she never expected. Could this be the start of something new? Or will Helga become completely unbound? POST TJM. SHORTAKI. Also includes loads of Miles and Stella :) STILL BEING UPDATED





	1. Reunions

It was a tearful goodbye to say to the Green Eyes who had been so much help in saving the lives of the blonde boy's parents who were more than grateful, but an even more tearful hello to the son they'd missed the life of for close to 9 years. The sleeping sickness had taken away that, but it hadn't taken away their future with him and they knew that this was the beginning of something they'd been looking forward to all their lives-- the life of being a family with their son. 

“Arnold, we've missed so much,” Stella said tearfully while stroking her son's head and he smiled up at her and wiped away a tear from his eye. 

“I know, but there is so much more to come,” he said back to her with a grin. “You haven't missed out on everything. It's all just beginning.” 

“You're right, son,” Miles said while patting Arnold's back lightly. “We haven't missed everything.” 

Helga stood awkwardly from where she shared her most precious kiss with Arnold just moments ago and reached up to rub the back of her neck as Gerald approached her. 

“So...” he said with a sly smile and a raise of his brow. “You and Arnold, huh?” 

Blush rose to her cheeks and she quickly shook her head as if the rosy pigment would disappear from the motion. She stuttered out, “I uh... we... uh...” her tone quickly changed as she shot him a glare and dug her feet into the ground. “Look Tall Hair Boy, I don't know what you THINK you saw, but it was NOTHING, okay? So just... just... back off, or you'll have to talk to--” 

“Betsy and the five avengers,” he finished for her while shaking his head. “Mm mm MM, Helga, I KNEW there was a reason you had all those videos of Arnold... you have it BAD for him, don't you?” 

“I don't know WHAT you're talking about,” she insisted but Gerald knew better and was onto Helga G. Pataki's cover. 

“Sure, Helga. You have no idea what I'm talking about.” he repeated with another shake of his head while turning away from her to watch as Arnold gave his parents another hug. 

He pulled away from them as a thought pierced his memory and he looked at them in shock. “My friends... they're all still trapped back at the camp...” he murmured and his parents shared a look before returning back to Arnold. 

“The camp? What camp?” Miles asked and Arnold looked back at Helga and Gerald before looking to his parents once more. 

“La Sombra's camp. He took us all prisoner. If it wasn't for Helga and Gerald, we never would have escaped.” He explained and Gerald chimed in from behind him. 

“And Phoebe. Most of it was her idea. And Helga.” He turned to look at her and she blushed once more while trying to hide it with little success. 

“Well don't just stare at me,” She said as everyone continued to look her way. “We have to get back to the camp and get them out. I'm sure they're going crazy in there. Imagine Simmons. Granola boy has probably LOST it by now.” 

Arnold shuttered at the idea of Mr. Simmons being locked up without any control of the situation and nodded his head in agreement to Helga's statement. “That's true. We have to get back to the camp and get everybody out. But I hardly remember how we got here, more or less how to get back...” his voice trailed off as he pulled out the worn journal he'd used to help them get there in the first place and Miles' face lit up at the sight of his journal that he'd forgotten all about. 

“My journal?” he asked softly as Arnold turned to the map in the back and he smiled up at his father and nodded. 

“It's how we found you. It led us right to you.” He said and Miles reached out to take it from his son's hands and traced the pages with his fingertips lightly. 

“I can't believe you have it... after all this time...” he murmured and Arnold nodded his head while Stella set a hand on Miles' lower back with a smile. 

“It's all I had of you,” Arnold explained sheepishly while reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. “I-I couldn't part with it. I'd read it most nights after we found it and it made me... it made me feel close to you. All your stories...” he shrugged his shoulders. “it gave me hope that I'd find you one day so I could return it to you.” 

“Oh Arnold,” Miles said with tears welling in his eyes. “Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.” 

Arnold smiled and looked down to his feet. “I've waited all this time,” he said softly, “I'm just glad I was able to return it to you,” he finished while looking up through his eyelashes at his father who looked down at him graciously and held the book in his hands. 

“Well,” Miles said while looking at Stella, “With the help of this map, I'm sure we'll be able to find La Sombra's camp. It shouldn't take too long with the help of the Green Eyes. They're masters at finding places in the jungle.” 

“And you can speak to them, right?” Helga asked while setting her hands on her hips and Stella chuckled. 

“We may have been asleep for 9 years,” She said, “But we haven't forgotten everything we know.” 

“C'mon,” Miles said while gesturing for everyone to follow, “Let's ask around and see if we can't figure out where to begin our trek to finding your friends.”

~~~ 

 

The walk was long to La Sombra's camp, longer than Gerald and Helga remembered, but for Arnold, there was so much to catch his parents up on that the journey seemed to go by quickly. He tried to remember everything of his past that would be important for his parents to know. His friends, the boarders, school, every last detail of his life that they had missed poured out of his mouth like a fountain and while he tried not to sound too excited, he couldn't help himself but to let it all out like word vomit he couldn't hold in any longer. 

Gerald and Helga walked behind the three as they talked and while Gerald tried to make conversation, Helga wasn't having it. 

“Pretty neat to see Arnold with his parents again, huh?” Gerald asked and Helga nodded her head. 

“Yeah, great for Arnoldo,” she muttered while kicking a rock incessantly and Gerald stared at her as she did so. 

“I don't get it, Pataki,” he said as they walked, “If you like Arnold so much, why aren't you happy for him?” 

She turned to glare at Gerald. “I AM happy for him, ya dope.” She responded and he held his hands up in surrender as they continued on the trail. 

“Hey, hey, hey, it was just a question,” he defended himself as Helga turned to focus her attention back on the rock she was kicking. “You just don't seem very happy.” 

“Well then you don't know me very well, do you, Geraldo?” She countered and he sighed while nodding his head. 

“Guess I don't,” he said as they continued trekking and he frowned to himself. “Helga, can I ask you something?” 

Helga rolled her eyes. “I'd rather you not but I'm sure you're gonna ask anyway so why not?” She said and he asked away. 

“What do you think things will be like when we get back? Back to Hillwood, that is?” Gerald asked and Helga stopped walking for a moment to take in his question. 

She hadn't thought of this before now and the question took her off guard. “I-I...” she struggled with an answer as she stood in place, Gerald now stopping to watch her in confusion as to why she stopped. “I don't know...” her voice trailed off and Miles turned around to see that the two were behind and he walked towards the two to try and encourage them to keep up. 

“You guys getting tired?” He asked and Gerald looked at Helga for a moment before nodding his head, deciding to cover for her after his thought-provoking question. 

“Yeah, just a bit,” he said before jogging to catch up to Stella and Arnold. “We'll be fine though!” He called out to Miles as he approached Helga, leaving the two alone behind the small group. 

“Helga... right?” Miles asked while looking at Helga who was still in minor shock at the question Gerald had posed to her just moments ago. 

She shook her head from the question and then stopped to briefly nod her head. “Ur... yeah. Helga G. Pataki.” She introduced herself and Miles chuckled. 

“Miles Shortman,” he said, “Mind if I walk with you?” He asked and Helga looked around at her surroundings before shrugging her shoulders and picking up her pace to begin walking once more. 

“Whatever floats your boat, Miles,” she said and he nodded his head while walking beside her. 

“Arnold was telling me about you and all of his friends back home,” Miles said as they walked and this peeked her interest. 

“Oh yeah?” She replied as she stomped on the ground beside him. “And what horrible stories did he have to tell about me?” She asked and Miles merely smiled and shook his head. 

“None, actually. He just told us how brave you were to risk everything in helping him find us these passed few days.” Miles explained and Helga's eyes widened. 

“R-really? Like... nothing bad? Nothing about how I throw spitwads at him all day in class or how I call him football-head every day of his natural born life or how I prank him every chance I get?” She spit out without thinking and Miles raised a brow as he looked at her. 

“Um... no. He didn't mention any of that. Is that true?” He asked and she looked away in embarrassment while continuing to walk. 

“Uh...” she struggled before sighing and giving up entirely. “Yeah... it's true. But I have my reasons.” She finalized and Miles nodded his head. 

“Does he know that?” He asked and she shrugged her shoulders. 

“I think he does. At least now anyway.” She said and he smiled. 

“I think he does too. It looked that way to me, at least.” He said with a grin and Helga blushed remembering her onlookers at their very first mutual kiss and she couldn't help the smile that rushed to her lips without thinking. 

“Yeah well what do YOU know, anyway,” she scowled back at him in defense mode while trying to harbor some of her pride. “YOU've been asleep for 9 years. You don't even KNOW me, bucko.” 

Miles nodded his head as they approached the camp at last. “You're right, I don't,” he said. “But I'd very much like to get to know you. Arnold speaks highly of you. And anyone in Arnold's life is someone I'd like to get to know.” 

This statement once again threw Helga off her guard as they made their way into the camp. Nobody in her life seemed to want to get to know her, not truly. So who was Miles to want to get to know her, anyway? 

And speaking of people not wanting to get to know her... 

“Helga!!” Olga yelled as she rushed to her sister's side and enveloped her in a very one-sided hug. “Oh baby sister, I thought I'd never see you again!” She sobbed into her shoulder and Helga tried to breathe though Olga's grip on her was surprisingly very tight. 

“Ol-Olga...Can't...breathe....” she managed and her sister let her go only for her to catch her breath and see none other than her own parents right beside her with unimpressed looks on their faces. 

“Where have you BEEN, girl?” her father asked her with his hands on his hips. “We came all this way looking for you from that message you sent us.” 

She rolled her eyes and set her own hands on her hips. “Nice try dad, but you aren't fooling me. I know you came here for Olga.” 

“So what if we did, huh?” He said rather bluntly. “You were missing and you had us... I don't know...” 

“Worried,” Miriam finished for her husband. “You had us worried.” 

“What were you even doing out there, anyway?” Bob asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. 

“Oh I don't know, just saving LIVES and all. The usual.” She said and her parents exchanged a look before returning their eyes on their youngest daughter. 

“Don't tell me. You were helping that orphan boy friend of yours,” Bob said and Helga glared in his direction before narrowing her eyes at him. 

“Not an orphan boy, dad. We FOUND his parents. They're right over there,” she explained while pointing to where Miles and Stella stood before Arnold's grandparents who were in shock at the two figures standing before them. 

The older couple stared at Miles and Stella, both Gertie and Phil reaching out to their long-lost son who had finally returned to them. “Miles, is... is that you?” Phil asked and Miles nodded his head slowly, tears suddenly filling his eyes. 

“Yeah, pop, it's me.” he said while laughing through his tears and embracing his parents for the first time in 9 years. They were much older from the last time he'd seen them, but their embrace felt the same as it had all his life-- warm and inviting. Loving. 

They pulled away from each other, both Gertie and Phil's eyes gravitating towards Stella who stood silently beside Arnold with a smile on her face. “And Stella,” Gertie said while shaking her head. “Why, I can't believe I'm seeing you. With my own three eyes!” 

“Pookie, you have two eyes,” Phil corrected her, but she ignored him and outstretched her arms. 

“C'mmere and give me some sugar, sugar,” she said and Stella welcomed the hug with open arms as Phil too leaned in to give her a hug that he'd been waiting to give her since she'd first disappeared from their lives completely. 

Once they'd all exchanged hugs, Phil leaned down on one knee shakily and looked into his grandson's eyes and set a hand on his shoulder. “Well Shortman, you did it,” he said with a smile. “You found your parents. I can't believe you did it, after all this time, we'd thought we'd lost them, but you, Arnold, you DID it, and we're so proud of you.” 

“Thanks Grandpa,” Arnold said with a smile, before walking over to Helga and grabbing her from her parents who were talking to Olga anyway, and pulling her to their group. “But I couldn't have done any of this without Helga's help.” 

“Eleanor?” Gertie said with a raised brow. “You did all of this?” 

Helga shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, I HELPED and all, but Arnold was the brains behind it.” 

“Don't let me steal all the credit, Helga,” He said while taking her hand in his. “You know that without you, none of this would have been possible.” 

She froze for a moment, the warmth of Arnold's hand in hers filling her growing body with electricity like she'd never felt before, other than when they'd kissed that is. It filled her up, from head to toe, and she took a moment to enjoy it before snatching her hand back and crossing her arms. “Yeah, well, don't say I never did anything for ya, Hair Boy,” she said and Arnold smirked while looking up at her. 

“I won't. I'm so grateful for what you've done, Helga.” 

“We're so grateful,” Miles added while taking hold of his wife's hand before looking around at the camp that was now destroyed entirely, though parading around was the group of friends that had also helped in making sure Arnold was able to fulfill his dreams of finding his long-lost parents. “Not only to you, but to everyone who helped our Arnold out.” 

“Well,” Helga said awkwardly after a moment of silence. “What do you say we blow this camp and head home? I can't stand being in this jungle any longer.” 

Stella and Miles shared a look before saying in unison, “Neither can we.” 

~~~

“Are you SURE we can't stop for food?” Harold whined and Mr. Simmons frowned while pointing to his book and shaking his head. 

“I'm sure, Harold. We REALLY have to stick to the agenda this time around.” He shuttered for a moment. “I'd hate to think of what ELSE could happen if we break it again...” 

“Mr. Simmons?” Eugene asked from where he waddled up to him, now slightly less blown-up from his allergic reaction. “Can we stop at the hospital once we get home? My parents can pick me up there. They'll be so excited to see me!” 

“Sure, Eugene... you should probably seek medical attention after your reaction...” Mr. Simmons took a breath before muttering to himself, “I hope you'll fit in the seat...” 

“Are you sure you don't want to ride with us in the plane, baby sister?” Olga asked Helga from where she stood in the airport with her hands clasped in front of her chest. “It'll be fun to be with the whole family soaring in the sky together.” 

Helga crossed her arms over her chest while glancing over to Arnold who was talking with his parents. “I'm sure.” 

“Alright class,” Mr. Simmons addressed the group before clearing his throat, “And parents,” he added quickly as Miles, Stella, Gertie and Phil smiled in his direction, “While this has been... a very... special... experience for everyone... it's time to say goodbye to San Lorenzo and board the plane to take us all home. While I'm sorry most of you lost your luggage--” 

“And cellphones,” Rhonda muttered, though Mr. Simmons continued. 

“--I'm just thankful that we're all together again and can have a safe trip home. So let's all get on board and--” But before he could finish, the kids rushed to the gate and began boarding the plane; eager to get home to Hillwood, though Arnold and his parents remained behind the group, Helga staying with them. 

“Aren't you coming?” She asked Arnold and he nodded his head. 

“Of course, Helga. Where else would we go?” He asked with a smile and she shrugged her shoulders. 

“Well I don't know,” she said while looking down at her feet. “I guess, I guess I was just worried you'd stay... here or something. With your parents.” 

Arnold reached out to set a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. “I'm coming back with you. With all of you,” he said reassuringly and she looked up to meet his eyes. “Don't worry.” 

“Worry?” She repeated before pushing herself away from him as he dropped his hand from her shoulder. “Pssh, I'm not WORRIED, Criminy, why would I be WORRIED about YOU football-head?” 

Arnold shrugged his shoulders. “I kind of figured--” 

“Well you figured--” 

“Helga, stop,” he interrupted her. “I know you don't mean what you're about to say, okay? So just... just stop, okay? Let's board the plane, alright?” He said before walking passed her with his parents leaving Helga behind to think about his words. 

She thought about them all the way from the gate to the plane and in her seat as the takeoff ensued. But it was on the ride back to Hillwood that another thought entered her mind, the thought of the question that Gerald had asked her back on the trek to La Sombra's camp. 

What do you think things will be like when we get back? Back to Hillwood, that is? He had asked, and the answer haunted her. Would things be different? Would Arnold treat her differently now that he knew her secret? And even more, would SHE be different now that her secret was out in the open for all the world to see? After all, it wasn't just Arnold who knew anymore, his parents, even Gerald knew, and that meant soon the whole class would know. Would they be an item? Would they become what Helga had always dreamed they would be? 

The thoughts haunted her during the entire trip back to Hillwood, even as they left the plane and took the bus back to school and then the bus back to the beeper store where her family had been living since they took the house away after her parents lost most of their money. 

What WOULD happen between Arnold and Helga? 

Who knew? Helga supposed that only time would tell.


	2. School Days

Living in the beeper emporium was exhausting for Helga. Not only was the place not equipped with beds to sleep on so Helga had to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, but there wasn't a kitchen so she often found herself trying to find spare change so she could stop at the gas station and grab some grub before making her way to PS 118. 

And PS118 wasn't any less exhausting for her. 

She trudged down the hallway with Phoebe each day, avoiding Arnold, even though he tried his best to find her through the crowded halls. 

“I just can't seem to avoid the kid, you know?” She told Phoebe one day as they made their way to the sixth grade classroom. 

“It certainly doesn't help that we're all in the same class,” Phoebe commented with a nod of her head as she adjusted her backpack on her shoulders. 

“You got THAT right,” Helga said as she made her way to the drinking fountain and began sipping from the spigot.

“However,” Phoebe began as Helga continued to drink from the fountain, “what I don't understand is why you're trying to avoid Arnold in the first place.” 

Helga spat out her water and stood up straight to wipe her face from the water she'd spit on herself and took a deep breath. “I'm just... it's just...” she sighed. “It's complicated.” 

“What's so complicated about your feelings for Arnold? He clearly has developed feelings for you since our experience in San Lorenzo.” Phoebe stated and Helga spun around to glare at Phoebe. 

“Oh yeah? And what makes you say THAT?” She demanded, though Phoebe refused to back down from her friend this time around, her confidence glaring. 

“Someone who shares a kiss with another often doesn't fake returning feelings for that other person.” Phoebe said and Helga's eyes widened as she hadn't told even her best friend about that kiss. 

“Who told you that?” She demanded and Phoebe shrugged her shoulders. 

“I suppose the only other person who was there to witness it.” 

Helga's eyes narrowed. “Gerald...” she hissed and Phoebe reached up to set a hand on her best friend's shoulder. 

“Try not to be cross with Gerald, Helga. He's only concerned for his best friend, as I am for mine.” She explained, though Helga wasn't having her friend's explanation. 

“You're CONCERNED for me? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?” Helga asked and Phoebe looked up at Helga with soft eyes. 

“You aren't acting like yourself, or rather, you're acting too much like yourself. Given the circumstances.” 

Helga turned away from the fountain and began stomping her way down the hall towards their classroom. “Circumstances?” She asked from over her shoulder. 

Phoebe jogged to catch up with her long-legged friend. “You know, since Arnold admitted to returning feelings for you.” 

“Pssh,” Helga sounded with her lips, “He didn't admit ANYTHING to me, Pheebs.” 

“I feel as though a kiss speaks louder than words, Helga.” Phoebe said as they entered the classroom at last and Helga rolled her eyes as they made their way to their appropriate desks. 

“Maybe it does, but if it DID don't you think he'd be trying just a BIT harder?” Helga countered and it was Phoebe's turn to cross her arms over her chest and give her friend a look. 

“Perhaps it's you who isn't trying hard enough, don't you think?” She asked and Helga opened her mouth to answer but was caught off guard by another person from just behind her. 

“Hi Helga,” Arnold said and she spun around to see him facing her and her heart immediately began to speed up inside her chest. 

“A-Arnold,” she stuttered out with wide eyes. “What... what are YOU doing here?” She asked and Arnold raised his brow at her. 

“We're kind of in the same class you know,” he said with a half-lidded gaze and her heart stopped for a moment as she beat herself up inwardly at her stupid response. 

Doi, Helga, she thought, what kind of question was THAT?! Think of a better response, Helga ole' girl, think! 

“Uh... well, YEAH, I knew that, obviously.” She said with a roll of her eyes. “What do YOU want anyway?” 

Arnold looked down at his feet for a moment as his hands went to hide behind his back. “I guess I was, well, I was wondering if you uh... if you wanted to be partners for this week's history project.” 

Helga raised a brow as her eyes widened. “History project? Class hasn't even STARTED, Hair Boy, how do you even KNOW that?” 

Arnold looked up and pointed over to the chalkboard. “It's up on the board,” He said and Helga moved to see the words, Pick your partners for this week's history project written up on the board before her. 

“Huh. Well would you look at that,” She mused as Arnold looked at her expectantly. 

“So? What do you say?” Arnold asked again and Helga turned to look at her usual partner for such projects, Phoebe, who nodded her head slightly, encouraging her friend to accept Arnold's request. 

Still unconvinced but remembering what Phoebe had said earlier about not trying hard enough, Helga nodded her head slowly. “S-sure, Arnoldo, I'll be your partner. But on one condition.” 

“What's that?” He asked and Helga glanced around her surroundings before saying her terms and conditions. 

“We have to work on the project at your place.” 

Arnold smiled and nodded his head. “Sounds like a deal.” 

~~~

 

Arnold sat on the phone with his best friend. “I don't know what came over me, Gerald. I just had to ask her.” 

“Well I must say, man, I feel a little hurt, but I'm pretty stoked to be working with Phoebe.” His friend said from the other line and Arnold smiled. 

“I figured you might be. You two have been pretty close since San Lorenzo.” He noted and Gerald adjusted the phone from one hand to the other. 

“I'll say. And I figure that this project will only bring us closer together. At least, that's what I'm hoping. I'm guessing that's what you're thinking with Helga?” He pressed and Arnold blushed though Gerald couldn't see-- something he was happy about the mask of a phone call. 

“Honestly, I'm just hoping she'll open up with me a little more,” he said while reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. “Helga was... she was a different person on that trip, you know? And now that we're back here, she's like... it's like nothing has changed and it... it bothers me.” 

“Why though?” Gerald asked. “Does it bother you because you LIKE her like her?” Arnold thought about this for a moment before swallowing hard and nodding his head. 

“Yeah, Gerald. I uh... I think I do.” 

“Mm mm MM,” Gerald hummed over the phone, “I KNEW that kiss wasn't a fluke,” he said and Arnold sat up straight at his words in shock at his presumption. 

“You thought my kissing Helga was a fluke?” Arnold questioned and Gerald sighed. 

“I don't know, man, I thought it was SOMETHING, but I figured it was all, in the heat of the moment or something.” He said and Arnold shook his head vigorously. 

“No, Gerald, we claimed it was heat of the moment last time this all happened at the FTi building and I'm not letting that happen again. This was... this was real and I'm sure of it.” Arnold said, positive of his statement and Gerald agreed. 

“Alright, Arnold. Whatever you say, man.” Gerald took a deep breath before letting it out and changing topics a bit. “So what are you gonna do to try and get her to open up to you? You gonna talk to her about everything that happened or what?” 

“No,” Arnold responded, “I don't think that will work with her, you know? I think... I think I'll have to show her that I'm serious about what happened. She's been avoiding me a lot lately and I think it's because she's scared I didn't mean what happened... the kiss and all. But I did. And I've got to show her.” 

“Okay...” Gerald's voice trailed off for a moment before he picked back up again. “So how are you gonna do THAT?” 

“I'm not sure yet... but I know it starts with letting her feel welcome in my house and maybe with my parents. Dad said he had a moment with her when we were walking to the camp. I think he really likes her.” 

Gerald seemed surprised by this. “LIKES her? Geez, who likes Helga G. Pataki?” He paused for a moment before realizing what he said and backed up. “Besides you, that is.” 

“She's really not that bad, Gerald. If you got to know her, you'd see her the way I see her.” Arnold explained but Gerald didn't want that kind of relationship with Helga. 

“God, I hope not.” He said and Arnold frowned. 

“Not like that, Gerald.” Arnold said and Gerald laughed. 

“I know, man, I'm just messing with you,” Gerald spoke mid-laughter before stopping his laughter and continuing talking. “Anyway, so what's your gameplan for tonight? She's coming over tonight, right?” 

“Yeah, everyday this week. That was our deal.” Arnold explained and Gerald seemed surprised by this. 

“Your deal? What deal?” 

Arnold sighed. “She said she'd only be my partner if we could meet at my house for the project. I think something is wrong with her place.” 

“You haven't heard?” Gerald asked and Arnold raised his brow. 

“Heard what?” He asked and Gerald tsked his tongue into the reciever. 

“Man, you ARE dense. The Patakis went BROKE, dude. They lost their money in the beeper empire. Word from fuzzy slippers is they're living out of the emporium now.” 

Arnold's eyes went wide at this information as he went silent on his end of the phone. After a moment of silence, Gerald spoke up once more. 

“Arnold? You still there, man?” 

Arnold cleared his throat and nodded his head. “Uh, yeah, yeah I'm still here. Wow, I uh... I didn't know that.” 

“Yeah. Truly pathetic.” He said and Arnold frowned. 

“I'd say sad is more like it. Poor Helga...” 

“All I say is that WHATEVER you do, DON'T bring that up. Let her bring it up herself. THAT'S the key to opening Helga up.” Gerald sounded confident in his idea and Arnold opened up his ears as he continued talking. “You get her to open up about her life, and that'll be the way to get inside Helga's head like you want to.” 

“More like her heart...” Arnold mumbled, but Gerald didn't catch his friend's quiet words. 

“You say something?” Gerald asked and Arnold shook his head. 

“Just that I uh... I gotta go. Helga will be here any minute.” He said and Gerald understood and said his goodbyes. 

“Alright man. Remember what I told you. Don't. Say. ANYTHING about what I told you, okay? Let her tell you HERSELF, alright?” Gerald advised and Arnold nodded his head as a knock came from his door. 

“Alright, alright, Gerald. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later okay? Bye,” But he hung up before his friend could say goodbye back. Quickly, he moved to the door and opened it up to reveal his dad and Helga standing in the doorway, a smile on his father's face and a frown on Helga's. 

“I brought a friend,” Miles said and Helga crossed her arms. 

“Hardly,” she grumbled though Miles and Arnold both ignored her. 

“Come on in, Helga,” Arnold said while gesturing for her to enter and she did so quickly while dropping her bag on the floor beside his bed. 

“I'll leave you two be,” Miles said before stopping mid-way and smiling inside the doorway, “be good,” he said with a wink before closing the door and Helga rolled her eyes. 

“Parents, huh?” She said and Arnold smirked. 

“It's nice to have them here,” He said and Helga shrugged. 

“Well at least you have GOOD ones,” she said while taking a seat on his bed and crossing her legs. 

“I do. I'm really lucky,” Arnold said before taking a seat next to her, making Helga's heart flutter slightly at their close proximity to one another. “So how are you?” He asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders. 

“Fine I guess. You?” She asked and Arnold shrugged back at her. 

“Same, I suppose. Nothing too exciting going on here.” 

Helga raised her brow. “You mean to say life hasn't been crazy exciting for you since your parents have been home?” 

Arnold pulled his legs up to cross them like Helga's and held his legs in place. “I mean, things have been different, but I wouldn't say exciting. Just... really different.” 

“How so?” She asked and he smiled over to her. 

“It's just really cool to have parents for once in my life. When you go your entire life without parents, having them is something really special.” He explained and Helga nodded her head before turning away from him to stare out into space. 

“Wish I could say the same. I'd do anything to get away from my parents.” She said and Arnold nodded his head. 

“Well, you know, if you ever want to get away, you're always welcome here,” He offered shakily with a slight hue of red hinting in his cheeks. “If you want that is.” 

Helga continued to stare out into nothing in particular. “That might be...nice.” She said softly, her guard slowly falling away as she ignored her defense mechanisms that were trying to fight her way to the surface. 

“You think so?” Arnold asked and Helga quickly shook her head to bring herself back into reality and frowned. 

“I mean, if you think THAT sort of thing would be NICE. To be around a bunch of STRANGERS in a STRANGE house and all.” Helga retorted and Arnold chuckled. 

“Well Helga, to be fair, it isn't like this house is all that strange to you. You've been here quite a bit throughout our lives.” Arnold said while continuing to look at her, noticing the way her blonde hair stuck out slightly from her pigtails; her bow atop her head still the bright shade of pink it had always been ever since he could remember. She smelled of vanilla, the soft scent drifting over to him from where he sat beside her. He was noticing so many things about her now, ever since their trip to the jungle, Helga seemed like a different person to him and he couldn't shake the way he felt about her since they'd returned home-- no matter how hard he tried. 

Granted, he hadn't tried very hard.   
He didn't want to. 

“Fair enough, football-for-brains,” Helga said with a sly smirk before reaching for her backpack and pulling it up onto the bed with the two of them. “So what do you want to work on first? The paper? Or the research?” 

“Honestly? I thought we could hangout a bit first.” Arnold boldly stated and Helga turned to stare at him. 

“Hangout?” She repeated and he nodded his head. 

“Yeah. Dinner is going to be ready pretty soon and I thought you might want to join us. If you're hungry that is.” 

“Hungry?” She asked, her stomach giving out a grumble for an answer and Helga fought back the smile trying to itch its way onto her face. After a beat, she finally sighed and nodded her head. “You know what? I'm feeling generous today. I'll take you up on your dinner offer.” 

Arnold perked up from where he sat. “Really?” He asked. 

“Really.” Helga answered. “Besides, I'm starved.” 

~~~

 

“So the boarders aren't joining us because...?” Helga asked as she sat at the table with Arnold and Miles as Stella finished getting food ready in the kitchen and she came back in with a casserole and shrugged her shoulders. 

“They already ate. They're still pretty stuck to their schedule of when they eat.” Stella explained. 

“And you guys don't eat with them?” Helga asked as Stella set the casserole on the table and Miles smiled in her direction. 

“Once a week, we like to eat as a family. It's something we've missed out on for so long that we decided to make it a tradition until we get our own place.” Miles said and Helga nodded her head. 

“That's... cool. I guess.” She said, unsure as to how to handle such a unique tradition that she was unfamiliar with. Sure, her parents and her usually shared meals together, at least when Olga was around, but it was never this nice or this... quiet and this oriented around other people besides Olga. She didn't know what to do with herself and she found herself fidgeting constantly as the dinner continued. 

“Well I kinda feel like an intruder here,” Helga admitted while playing with a nearby fork and Stella shook her head as she took a seat at the table. 

“Nonsense, you're always welcome, even to our family meals,” she said warmly while sharing a look with Arnold from across the table. 

“Thanks, I uh... I don't know what else to say,” Helga said and Miles smiled while shaking his head. 

“You don't have to say anything else. Just sit with us and enjoy!” He said while taking a scoop of the casserole and placing it on his plate before handing the spoon to Helga. “After you, milady.” 

Shakily, Helga reached out and took the spoon from Miles and scooped up some of the casserole and put some on her plate before transferring the spoon to Arnold's waiting hand. Once everyone had some of the casserole, Stella began passing around the bowl of vegetables before beginning her interrogation, or rather, her introduction to that of Helga G. Pataki. 

“So Helga, why don't you tell us about yourself.” She said and Helga looked up from her plate while taking the bowl of veggies and putting some onto her plate. 

“Oh, there's uh... there's not much to tell.” She said before Arnold chimed in. 

“That's not true, Helga. There's lots to tell about you.” 

Helga turned and narrowed her eyes in his direction, her front coming up once again to protect herself. “Oh yeah? And just what would THAT be, smart guy?” 

Arnold's parents shared a look, though Arnold was unphased by Helga's harsh tone. “You're very smart. You get some of the best grades in our class. She scored nearly a perfect score on our aptitude test in the fourth grade. Even better than her sister.” 

“You have a sister?” Miles asked while taking a bite of his food. “How old is she?” 

Helga sighed, the conversation already turning to that of Olga. “23. She's off back in Alaska doing something with children or something. Or maybe she's back at college. It's hard to keep track.” 

“Oh? Why's that?” Stella asked and Helga frowned. 

“Because she's practically perfect in every way. Just like Mary stinkin' Poppins.” Helga grumbled while taking a bite of her own food and chewing with disdain at the subject. 

Miles and Stella exchanged a look before Arnold cleared his throat and tried to change the subject. “Helga's also a great writer. She's even been published.” 

“Wow,” Miles exclaimed, “that's quite a feat especially for someone your age! What did you have published?” 

Helga shrugged her shoulders. “Just a stupid poem. It wasn't that exciting,” she said while reaching up to scratch her head and Arnold begged to disagree. 

“That's not true. It was a big deal in our school. Our teacher even read the poem in front of the whole class. I think it was the best poem I've ever heard.” He said and Helga looked up from her plate to turn and look over at him. 

“You really thought that?” She asked and he nodded his head. 

“Yes, Helga. I really did. You're very talented.” He said and Miles turned to face Helga. 

“So you're into writing. Do you ever journal?” He asked and Helga shook her head, becoming more open to talking the more they conversationalized. 

“Not really,” Helga admitted, “I mostly just write stories and poems. I've never tried journaling. I don't have much to say, I guess.” 

“I think it's very therapeutic,” Miles said. “You can really dig deep into yourself and get out some feelings you didn't know you had in you. Not to mention it's fun to look back and see how you were feeling once years have passed. It's a great way to collect memories. You should try it some time.” 

Helga shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe I'll try it some time. If I ever find the right journal, I 'spose.” 

The rest of the dinner went well, all things considered. Miles and Stella were gracious hosts and were genuinely interested in Helga which was something she had never been used to. Usually dinners were so focused around Olga that Helga hardly got a word in edgewise but this dinner was completely different. She soon found herself talking more and more and soon she was even laughing-- something she hadn't done in a long time. It seemed that she felt comfortable around Arnold's parents, something she didn't feel around most adults and the feeling was a strange one indeed. 

At the end of the dinner, Arnold and Helga worked on their project without guards up, nothing serious coming up in topics beside that of their project. It was nice to be around someone and feel open, especially with Arnold. Why had she been avoiding him for so long when it felt so good to be around him? Could it be like this at school too? And further more, would she ever allow it to be like this at school? There were certain appearances she had to keep up after all, and in that case, how could anything ever be normal? 

Helga went home to the beeper emporium feeling lighter than she'd ever felt before knowing she could go back to the boarding house tomorrow after school. Maybe things could be normal, at least in the boarding house. Maybe it could be their little secret. Maybe.... just maybe.


	3. Report Work

“Arnold... Beacon of my existence, light of my life, adoration of my soul, how you escape me and yet how you are so near to me. I can feel us growing close and somehow I feel scared at the thought of us becoming something that I've always wanted. One. One person held together by two. How I long for that. How I desire for us to be just that... so why am I so stupidly afraid? Why am I so frightened to be myself in front of you after all we've been through? We've conquered La Sombra together. We've saved your parents together. We've shared the sweetest and purest of kisses together so WHY oh WHY am I so confused about our relationship? WHY I beg you, you sweet, football-headed weirdo... WHY?!” Helga exclaimed from inside her shrine where she hid before school started when a voice startled her out of her monologue. 

“Helga?” Phoebe squeaked from behind her. “Are you ready to walk to school?” She asked and Helga spun around to face her friend with wide eyes. 

“How'd YOU get in here?” She asked and Phoebe pointed a thumb over her shoulder. 

“The door. Helga, I've been in here before. Are you alright?” 

Helga stuck her worn locket back into her shirt and sighed before grabbing her backpack from the floor and swinging it over her shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. Let's go.” She said as they headed out of the basement and wandered into the light of day to make their way to the inside of the beeper emporium where Bob and Miriam were setting up a new display for beepers. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Bob said as they headed for the door, “Where are you headed, little lady?” 

Helga sighed and rolled her eyes. “School. AGAIN, dad. That's usually where I head at 7:15 in the morning, you know.” 

“Oh, right,” he said before waving his hand at her. “Well don't let me stop you. Go learn or something. But come right back. You're in charge of register when you get back.” 

Helga reached up to scratch at her head. “Yeah, that's not gonna happen tonight, Bob.” 

“And just why not?” He demanded and Helga reached up to cross her arms over her chest. 

“Because I have a project to work on at... at somebody's house.” Helga explained as Phoebe eyed her from where she stood beside her. 

“Oh you do now? Well... FINE then. I guess I'll just have to do all the work by myself. Criminy! What good is having a kid when you can't even help out your old man in the beeper business, huh?” He muttered to himself as the two kids walked out of the emporium and into the sunlight of morning on the Hillwood streets. 

“So how are things going with yours and Arnold's project?” Phoebe asked and Helga eluded the question by asking one of her own. 

“I think a better question is how is yours and Gerald's going? You two have been practically attached at the hip since San Lorenzo.” She noted and Phoebe blushed while looking forward at the street to see the upcoming corner where they knew they'd run into Arnold and Gerald any minute now. 

“I wouldn't say that, Helga. We've simply been spending more time together is all. Similar to you and Arnold.” Phoebe explained but Helga shook her head. 

“Arnold and I haven't been spending TIME together, Pheebs. We've just been stuck on a project together. That's all.” Helga said and Phoebe sighed. 

“But wouldn't you like to spend more time with Arnold? Helga, you know you can be honest with me.” 

As they approached the corner, Helga spit out her words as fast as she could before Arnold could interrupt them. “I guess I would but I don't know how to do that just yet. I'm still trying to figure out where we stand.” 

“Well maybe you should ask him,” Phoebe said as they rounded the corner to meet Arnold and Gerald who were already waiting for them, Gerald outstretching a hand for Phoebe to take as they walked across the street together leaving Arnold and Helga behind on the sidewalk. 

Helga glanced over to Arnold who looked up at her expectantly with a smile. “Good morning, Helga.” 

She looked down at him and frowned. “Yeah, what's it to you?” She said and he offered his hand to her though she turned her head and instead walked forward across the street as he hurried to catch up to her. 

“Are you alright?” He asked and she instead kept her gaze forward ignoring him. 

“Yeah, Arnoldo, I'm fine.” She responded as he continued to try and match her pace. 

“Then why do you keep trying to ignore me? I thought after last night--” 

She interrupted him by turning around once they reached the next sidewalk and scowling down at him. “What? That I'd be all chummy with you now since I bonded with you and your parents? Newsflash, that was me trying to impress your parents, okay? And oh! Update! Mission accomplished.” 

“But why bother trying to impress my parents if you didn't care about me? I know you care about me.” Arnold said with a smile and Helga upturned her head and continued walking towards PS118. 

“So what if I care about you? They're just feelings.” She mumbled, though Arnold heard every word. 

“You're still coming over tonight, aren't you?” Arnold asked and Helga sighed while nodding her head. 

“Doi, I'm coming over. Part of our deal, remember, paste-for-brains?” 

“Of course I remember,” Arnold said with a grin, “How could I forget?” 

“I don't know, “ She said as they made their way up the steps of PS118, “I try not to ask you any questions.” 

“Last I noticed, you try to avoid me. Since San Lorenzo that is.” 

This made Helga stop in her tracks as the walked in the hallway and she turned slowly to face him and frowned. He'd noticed? He'd noticed that she had been trying to avoid him because she was afraid of what they'd become since their kiss? She didn't think he'd notice much of anything being as he was denser than osmium-- the densest element known to man. 

Helga struggled to find words to reply to him but thankfully the bell rang saving her from any embarrassment that her mouth would come up with. “I uh... we have to get to class,” she muttered and then took off for their classroom, Arnold quick to follow. 

But Arnold knew. He knew what Helga was thinking even though he was much less than a mind-reader. He knew that she was avoiding him because she couldn't face what they were becoming since their kiss in the jungle those months back. And he knew that there had to be a way to get inside Helga's head to try and get the Helga he knew back out again. 

~~~

Helga sat on Arnold's bed, her legs swinging to and fro as they hung off the side. Arnold sat on the floor just corner to her, his nose stuck in a book as they researched for their history project. The room had been awfully quiet since they'd gotten there after school, and Helga preferred it that way as it meant she didn't have to explain anything or act a certain way-- she could just exist on her own terms with her notebook, writing poetry rather than actually doing anything of real importance. 

Not that Arnold knew that. 

All was silent until Arnold cleared his throat and turned around to look up at her. 

“Hey Helga?” He said and she looked up startled at the sudden noise in the air. 

“Uh... yeah?” She responded while pulling her notebook close to her chest as if he could see any of the love-induced words she had written down. 

“I think we should uh... talk.” He said and Helga raised a brow at him while loosening her grip on her notebook. 

“We should? I mean... what the heck do WE have to talk about besides this STUPID project?” She thundered and Arnold chewed on his lip for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. 

“I think we should talk about San Lorenzo.” He finally got out and Helga's eyes widened as she let go of her notebook entirely letting it fall into her lap as her arms remained in place holding onto air before she shook her head and scowled in his direction. 

“What's there to talk to about, huh? We went there, found your parents, and came back. Wham bam, thank you ma'am. Done talking. How's about that research?” She tried, but Arnold wasn't having it. 

“That's not what I meant and you know it,” Arnold said while standing up from the floor and moving to sit beside Helga on the bed at a semi-close proximity. She could feel her nerves heightening at this simple movement and she tried not to skooch away from him despite her better judgment. 

“Well what is there left to talk about?” The blonde girl asked through nervous laughter, “I mean, we kinda covered the basics don't you think?” 

Arnold shook his head slowly, a smile on his face as he did so. “I think you're missing something in between there.” 

Helga frowned, knowing just where he was headed, but played dumb anyway. “I-I don't know what you're talking about football-head.” 

“I think you do.” 

“I think I don't.” 

Arnold sighed, becoming frustrated with Helga's antics and decided to just come out with it. “I think we should talk about the kiss.” 

Helga swallowed hard, her throat closing in on her like any time she would eat strawberries. She took a shaky breath, “Oh, you meant about THAT,” she said and Arnold nodded his head while retreating his look down to his lap where his hands were carefully clasped. 

“It's just that,” he began, “I thought that I had been pretty clear about how I felt back there in San Lorenzo about you... but it seems like maybe you still don't know or you're... you're still hiding from me that you do know. And I can't figure out why you're still being so mean to me.” 

Helga turned to look away from Arnold and instead stare down at the creases of his pillow where he'd slept just the night before. She focused on those creases rather than the feelings brewing inside of her as Arnold glanced away from his hands to gaze over at Helga once more in confusion. “Helga?” He asked and she snapped her head around to look at him once more. 

“Remind me again just how it is you feel? Exactly?” She spoke at last and Arnold eyed her suspiciously. 

“You really don't know?” He asked and she narrowed her eyes at him while putting her hands on her hips. 

“Criminy! If I were asking do you think I'd know?” She retorted and he pursed his lips before nodding his head as if understanding completely. 

“Alright...” he said slowly before looking down at his hands again and sighing as if to relieve himself of any tension he'd built up in his small system. “It's just that... well... after everything that happened back there and after everything you did to help me find my parents... I really realized that you... that I...” 

“Yes...” Helga dragged out waiting for the words she'd been hanging on since he'd begun. 

Arnold moved to look over at Helga, his eyes locking with hers as he stared over at her. “That I like you. A lot. I... like you like you.” 

A smile spread across her face as he spoke the words she'd been longing to officially hear but her smile dropped when Arnold continued his sentence. “I just can't figure out why it is that you're still being so mean to me when we clearly feel the same way about each other.” 

Helga's brow raised as she realized just what he had said and just how meanly she'd been treating him since they'd returned. Not letting him hold her hand and not letting him be the nice guy that he was towards her. Not letting herself be true to him like she'd always longed to be and not letting her true self come out like it was meant to be once finally with Arnold. A wave of emotions hit her like a ton of bricks and she stayed silent on the bed beside him as she tried to sort through them in her brain. 

“Helga?” Arnold asked and she turned to look at him and opened her mouth but no matter how hard she tried, words wouldn't come out. 

“Helga? Helga?” A voice asked and she shook her head to wake up from where she'd clearly dozed off at her desk in class. 

It was Phoebe who was standing over her, staring down at her and shaking her just so gently. “Helga?” She asked again and Helga moved to wipe some drool from her face before sitting up straight in the desk. 

“What?” She snapped at her friend and Phoebe merely shook it off and smiled down at her. 

“It's time for lunch.” 

Had it really all been a dream? A sweet, wonderful dream? A dream where Arnold finally confessed his feelings point blank to Helga in the way she'd always dreamed? It certainly had brought food for thought to the table. She'd been nothing but mean to Arnold since they'd come home from San Lorenzo and as she ate with Phoebe, Gerald and Arnold, she couldn't help but stare at him and wonder just what the dream had been trying to tell her. Should she be nicer to him? Was it finally time to quit the act and just be herself around the boy of her dreams who obviously liked her back, or was her pride too strong to allow her to actually cut the crap and let her be the person she knew she was on the inside, and that Arnold clearly knew too? 

~~~

 

The remainder of class went by quickly as Helga stared at the clock secretly looking forward to going back to the boarding house and working with Arnold on their project. As much as she pretended to hate being around him, she knew that she wanted to find a way to be herself around him and figure out where they stood when it came to their relationship. Her dream had been fulfilling, but it wasn't the real deal. She knew that she had to figure out where they were when it came to their relationship. 

That is, IF they still had a relationship. 

It was hard to tell when she was so focused on keeping up her appearance. But that all had to change, and it had to change fast. 

What even was her appearance anymore? Why did she care so much? It was like being at the boarding house was being in another world entirely. When she was there, her guard could come down and she could just simply be, rather than when she was in school where she knew she had to be the bully that was expected of her. The whole thing made her brain spin inside her head like a merry go round and she found herself becoming dizzy at the simple thought of it anytime it entered her head. 

So when the final bell rang, she was happy to leave school and go with Arnold to his house and escape the world that felt fake to her now; the world that felt unreal to her now that she had this secret with Arnold that she couldn't tell anyone. A secret that would have to remain until she could figure out the ins and outs of it. 

But how would she do that? 

And what would happen when this project was over? What would she do then? 

“You ready to do this thing?” Helga asked Arnold who was surprised she had actually come to him at his desk this time around. 

He picked up his blue backpack and nodded his head with a smile on his face. “Of course. Would you like me to carry your books for you?” 

Helga looked around at the eyes peering in her direction and she quickly shook her head while scowling in his direction. “Criminy, we're partners, not PARTNERS, okay? I can carry my books just fine, alright?” 

Be nice, Helga, you have to BE NICE, Helga reminded herself, the memory of her dream coming to the front of her mind as Arnold smiled up at her from his desk. 

“Okay, Helga, I was just asking,” He said while standing up from his desk and leading the way to outside where they'd walk the few blocks to his house where her safe haven awaited. 

Just a few more blocks, Helga, you can do this, just be quiet and nothing mean can come out of your face she encouraged herself as they walked in silence down the street, much to Arnold's dismay. 

He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her it was okay to talk to him and that he understood why she was acting the way she was acting, but he knew she wouldn't hear it. Gerald was right when he said that she had to tell him herself, that's just the way Helga worked. She was a no-nonsense kind of girl. 

As they approached the boarding house, Arnold reached for the door and held it open for Helga as she turned to smile in his direction forcing out a 'thank you' leaving Arnold stunned in her wake, but followed behind. 

“Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, I'm home!” Arnold called out and a pair of figures came out of the living room to greet the two kids with smiles on their faces. 

“Arnold!” Stella and Miles called out while reaching out to hug him and then step back to smile in Helga's direction. 

“Helga,” Miles said with a smile. “Great to see you again. Back for more research on your project or for more food?” 

Helga nodded her head and smiled. “Couldn't stay away I guess,” she responded and they chuckled at her response. 

“Well you're always welcome here,” Stella said. “Don't let us stop you two. Will you be joining us for dinner?” 

Helga glanced over to Arnold who was nodding his head in encouragement. “Well,” Helga said, “I guess I could stay... if it isn't too much trouble for you guys...” 

“Nonsense!” Stella boasted, “It's no trouble at all. I'll just let Gertie know we're having an extra person for dinner tonight. Why don't you both head up to Arnold's room and get working on your project until it's ready, okay?” 

“Alright,” Arnold said while gesturing for Helga to follow him up the stairs and to his room where he promptly shut the door and headed for his computer to turn it on so they could begin on their project. “I'm really glad you'll be staying for dinner again. Although, you'll have to deal with the boarders, so I apologize in advance for any trouble they might cause you.” 

“Eh, it's nothing compared to MY family,” Helga replied while heading to sit on Arnold's couch and take out her notebook from her backpack. “You'd never survive an evening with THEM.” 

“So how do you?” He asked and Helga scoffed. 

“Years of practice.” 

Arnold smirked while blurting out his next statement, this thoughts not catching up with his mouth before he could take back the words. “Has anything changed since moving out of your house?” 

Immediately Helga froze where she sat and turned to look at him, trying to keep her composure while Arnold spun around in his chair and held his hands up in surrender, he spoke quickly to try and smooth over the situation “I'm so sorry,” he said, “I didn't mean to say that, I just--” 

“It's fine,” Helga said to his surprise, “I knew people would figure it out eventually. I mean, it isn't like the beeper business is BOOMING or anything.” 

Arnold nodded his head slowly, treading the newfound waters carefully. “So how has it been? Living there?” 

Helga shrugged her shoulders, trying to remain calm and keep her pride at bay. “Nothing different than how it USED to be I guess. Although it's kinda nice not to have trophies LOOMING over me night and day.” 

“Oh?” Arnold mused. “They packed away Olga's trophies?” 

Helga nodded her head while turning her notebook to a fresh sheet of paper. “They kinda had to. There isn't much room for anything in the emporium. Even though they lugged the piano with just for Olga's occasional visits. Kinda funny seeing a piano in the store.” 

“Is anything selling?” Arnold asked and Helga sighed while picking up a pen and beginning to doodle hearts in the margin of the page. 

“Not really,” She responded, her eyes focused downward on the page in front of her, “It isn't like anyone needs BEEPERS anymore. The oaf hasn't figured out that cellphones are the golden age of technology these days.” 

“And you've tried to tell him?” Arnold asked and Helga scoffed while rolling her eyes. 

“Ha, right, like he'd listen to ME, the daughter he can't even figure out the NAME of on most days. Yeah, right.” 

“That's really sad, Helga,” Arnold said with a frown and Helga shrugged her shoulders unphased by this dreary part of her life that had become the norm since she had been a toddler. 

“It is what it is,” she said before twisting around to face Arnold more head on and looking at him directly. “Look, I'd like to talk to you about something.” 

“Okay,” Arnold responded while setting his hands in his lap and giving her his full attention. “What's that?” 

Helga took a breath and let her notebook rest in her lap while setting her pen down and trying to focus on her words as they came out of her mouth. “See, the thing is, I was thinking in class today about... about STUFF, and I think... well I figured... that I uh... I could be... more... NICE to you... and stuff.” 

Arnold's eyes widened for a brief moment before falling to a half-lidded gaze as he looked at her. “And what made you decide that?” 

“Well I don't know!” Helga snapped before taking a deep breath and trying to focus on her new resolution. “I mean... I guess I just figured that after San Lorenzo and all... maybe... you f-f-f-felt the same way... I felt?” She asked and Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck. 

“Well I do, Helga. That's kind of why we kissed, don't you think?” 

“I just figured that was all in the heat of the moment, I guess,” Helga said and Arnold smiled while shaking his head. 

“Not this time, Helga. Not this time, no.” He said and Helga grinned at him. 

“Well then it's settled. No more bullying. But I do still get to call you names. I've become rather fond of calling you football-head.”

Arnold laughed and nodded his head. “I gotta say Helga, I don't know what I'd do if you didn't call me that.” 

Yes! You did it, Helga! She congratulated herself. Now you just have to follow through. You can do this... only... how do you keep up your appearance with everyone else... 

“So does that mean I can hold your hand now when we walk to school like Gerald and Phoebe?” Arnold asked interrupting her thoughts and Helga found herself nodding her head. 

“Sure, Hair Boy. If that's really what you want is to be seen with the school bully.” 

“I don't care what people think,” he said and Helga fought back the swoon that was trying to escape her lips. 

He doesn't care what people think! Ooh! 

“Well,” She said with a shrug, trying to show nonchalance, “your poison.” 

And it was, happily. Arnold could beam from the growth Helga was showing by their conversation that day and he knew things were changing. Maybe Gerald was wrong when he told him that he shouldn't bring up things with Helga and let her bring it up herself. Today, she seemed in a great mood and willing to talk with Arnold about all things. They talked and talked about a lot of things, new and old and for once Helga felt like she was getting somewhere with Arnold. It seemed like the boarding house was working its magic once again. 

If only things were as easy at school as it was there. 

Just then, a knock cam from the door, both Arnold and Helga turning to look and see Stella peeking out from the corner of which she'd just opened to peek her head in through. “How are you both doing in here?” She asked and the two shrugged their shoulders while exchanging a look. 

“We're fine, mom. What's up?” Arnold asked and Stella opened the door further to step inside the frame and stand inside her son's room. 

“Well, I'm almost done with dinner, but I was just wondering if I could borrow Helga for some assistance.” 

Helga looked around the room as if there were another Helga hiding out somewhere alluding her view. Without finding one, she pointed to herself in confusion. “Me?” She exclaimed and Stella nodded her head. 

“Gertie isn't feeling very well so I offered to make some soup for dinner and I'd love some help cutting up the vegetables. What do you say, are you in for the task?” Stella offered once more and turning to look at Arnold who muttered a quiet, 'go ahead,' she nodded her head and shrugged her shoulders. 

“Sure, why not. I can cut a few vegetables. As long as Arnoldo here can hold down our report fort.” 

Arnold chuckled and grinned while gesturing towards the computer. “I think I can handle that, Helga. You go on.” 

So with Arnold's blessing, and despite her better judgment, she followed Stella into the unknown territories that were the boarding house kitchen during dinnertime... to prepare a meal with the elusive woman known as Arnold Shortman's mother.


	4. The Bully

Helga made her way downstairs to the kitchen with Stella, almost immediately regretting her decision to come and help make dinner. What was she doing? She could be upstairs talking with Arnold and spending time with him but WHAT was she doing? She was cooking. With his MOTHER. Criminy, Helga, you're losing your focus, here! She scolded herself, but nonetheless followed her to where the smells of a delicious soup was simmering and were various vegetables colored the counter waiting to be chopped up. 

“Well, here we are,” Stella said with a sigh while tying an apron around herself and finding her way towards the pot where the soup was cooking. She reached over for a spoon and ladeled a spoonful into her mouth for a taste before adjusting it with some spices and then glancing over to Helga who was standing just out of sight. “You want a taste?” 

Helga shook her head. “Nah, I'm just fine. I'll wait till the finished product.” 

“Ahh, you're one of those patient types with cooking then, huh?” She shook her head, a smile on her face. “Not like Miles. He always has to have the first taste.” 

Helga glanced around her surroundings for a moment. “Where is Miles?” She asked and Stella shrugged her shoulders. 

“Probably checking on Gertie. He's been taking care of her while I've been cooking.” 

Helga's brow furrowed as she crossed her arms. “Is she gonna be okay?” She asked and Stella nodded her head while moving to chop up some green onions. 

“She'll be alright. If she'd just stop trying to escape the room,” she chuckled to herself, “thus why Miles is keeping a close eye on her. She's a stubborn woman his mother is. But that's why we all love her.” 

“You miss her while you were gone?” Helga blurted out, immediately regretting the words as she knew the answer, but Stella was kind and answered anyway. 

“Very much. We missed everyone. Granted, we were asleep, but when we awoke, we knew all that we'd missed and we're very glad to be back now.” She said while chopping the onions and then scooping them up to dump them into the pot. Once returning to the chopping board, she picked up the knife to begin cutting again, and gestured for Helga to come join her. “Why don't you start with the carrots over there? There should be another cutting board.” 

Taking her hands from behind her back and swinging them back and forth for a moment, she then smacked her lips together before making to way towards the carrots and then picked up the knife sitting beside them. Carefully, she lined the first few carrots up and began to chop quietly, before Stella finally spoke. 

“So, Helga. How do you like school? How is the sixth grade treating you?” She asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders while focusing on the carrots ahead of her. 

“Fine I guess. It isn't as hard as they all TELL you it'll be.” She mused and Stella nodded her head. 

“I remember going into sixth grade. It's funny, even back then I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Do you?” She asked and Helga looked up and over to her. 

“Do I what?” 

“Do you know what you want to be when you get older?” She asked again and Helga thought about this for a moment before responding. 

“A writer of some sorts. Probably a journalist.” 

This impressed Stella, “Ooh, a journalist! That sounds exciting.” 

“Honestly, I used to want to just be a writer of like fictional stories and stuff, but then I started thinking about how I'd really like to travel the world... and a journalist seems like a good idea. Maybe for National Geographic or something.” Helga explained, the words coming out more fluidly as she spoke and Stella smiled while she dropped her second handful of onions into the pot of stewing soup. 

“Traveling the world is definitely exciting, but it has it's challenges,” Stella said, returning to her cutting board and reaching for the turnips that were sitting nearby. “But don't let that stop you. It's such a rewarding experience. Especially if you have the right person by your side to experience it all with.” She said with a wink and Helga found herself blushing and quickly returned her eyes back to the carrots she was cutting. 

“You cook much?” Stella asked next and Helga shook her head while scooping up the carrots she'd just cut and placing them into the pot nearby. 

“No, we hardly ever have food in the house to cook with,” She blurted out and this stunned Stella who turned around to look at Helga with a surprised expression. 

“You don't? Do your parents not shop?” She asked and Helga bit her lip for a moment before thinking through her reply. 

“It's... it's complicated,” she settled on, even though Stella was more curious as to just what she meant by that. 

“Complicated how?” She wondered and Helga sighed, feeling as though Arnold gets his whole nature from his parents whether he was raised by them or not. 

“It's just my parents... well... they aren't... they aren't like you guys at all. Or like Phil or Gertie... or ANYONE really.” She explained and Stella nodded her head. 

“So how are they like?” 

“They're... they're...” She sighed again and shook her head giving up on trying to elude Stella on her personal matters any longer because it was getting her nowhere. “They're not very good parents. I mean sure, maybe they TRY to be, but they don't try very hard, at least.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“What are you like my therapist or something?” Helga snapped before taking a deep breath and instead chopping on the cutting board more ferociously as she explained further. “It's just that I don't cook because my parents usually order take-out, unless Olga's home in which case they go all out for her and cook this grand old feast and spend the WHOLE TIME talking about her and ignoring me. I mean, heck, even when it comes to school, I'm lucky if I get a meal because 90% of the time it's a good day if Miriam remembers to pack me a can of cheeze fizz and crackers just to get me through the day.” 

Stella remained quiet at all the information that Helga had overloaded her with at once and Helga immediately felt like she'd said something wrong and instead focused on the carrots in front of her, chopping quietly as she shook her head. 

After a moment, Stella finally spoke. “I'm sorry to hear that, Helga,” she said, “nobody should have to deal with all of that.” 

Helga shrugged her shoulders. “It's been like that ever since I can remember, honestly.” 

“Well,” Stella said before turning around to walk towards Helga and place her hands warmly on Helga's shoulders. “It doesn't have to be like that here. Think of the boarding house as your... your safe haven, alright? I'm sure Arnold wouldn't mind if you come here when you like and spend some time with us just to get away every now and again. And we'd be happy to have you. Any time.” 

With wide eyes, Helga turned to look at Stella from over her shoulder. “Really? Like... REALLY really?” 

“Really, really. As far as I'm concerned, you're the reason we got our son back and Miles and I are forever indebted to you. We're happy to extend our home to you if you need it. And it sounds like you could use that in your life right now.” 

“Honestly?” Helga said while setting the knife down and taking a deep breath, “I really kinda could these days.” 

“Then it's settled. Our home is your home. Anytime.” She said with a smile and then returned to her cooking station. “Now how's about we finish up this soup and get the table ready for the boarders, Miles, Arnold and us?” 

~~~

“Bye Helga! We'll see you tomorrow!” Stella called out from where her and Miles stood waving out the doorway as Helga went to leave the boarding house just shortly after dinner. Arnold and Helga hadn't made that much headway when it came to their project, but it seemed that other things may be more important for them right now and they were both just trying to go with the flow of things. 

“Is it alright if I walk Helga home?” Arnold asked his parents. 

“Oh, you really don't have to, football-head,” Helga tried but he insisted. 

“No, really, I'd like to. And besides, it really isn't that dark out yet. So can I?” Arnold asked and his parents nodded their heads reluctantly. 

“Just be careful, alright you two?” Miles said. 

~~~

“Thanks again for staying for dinner tonight, Helga,” Arnold said as he walked beside her, his hands in his pockets. “I know the boarders can be... a lot to handle... but I think they liked you. Especially all your witty comebacks at Oskar.” 

Helga smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “He's kind of easy to make fun of to be honest.” 

Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck and chuckled. “Yeah he's a real character.” 

“You like living with all of them? With your parents and all?” Helga asked and Arnold nodded his head. 

“Yeah, it's like having an even bigger family, but this time it's real, you know? I have a mom, a dad, grandparents, and then... everyone else.” 

Helga smirked and kicked a rock that she had been eyeing from a few paces back. “How do you see them? As uncles and aunts or what?” 

“That's a good question,” Arnold replied while thinking about it for a long moment. “I guess I see them as all of it. Aunts, uncles, cousins, they're a bit of everything, sort of.” 

“That's cool.” Helga said with a nod as they turned the corner and headed down the street leading towards the beeper emporium. 

“How was cooking with my mom today?” Arnold asked suddenly, “She didn't make it too weird on you, did she?” 

“Why?” Helga asked with a sly smile. “You scared your mom embarrassed you?” 

Arnold chuckled but nodded his head. “I guess I kind of am, aren't I? Isn't that what parents are supposed to do to their kids?” 

“Nah, not all parents. And yours are pretty cool. Your mom... she's really nice.” Helga said as they approached the emporium, the lights turning on just as they came up to the mailbox. 

“What did she say?” Arnold asked and Helga stopped in front of the door and she turned to face him. 

“She told me I was welcome at your house any time. And that you wouldn't mind.” She said honestly and Arnold nodded his head while taking one of Helga's hands. 

“Well I wouldn't, you know.” 

“Good. Cause I have this feeling you'll be seeing a lot of me. What with my situation and all,” she said with a nod towards the emporium and Arnold nodded his head before looking down at their hands and swallowing hard. 

“Helga... were you... serious about what you said earlier? About you being nicer to me at school and stuff?” 

Helga nodded her head, a frown on her face because Arnold hadn't believed her. “Yeah, I was. You didn't believe me?” 

“I do, I just want to make sure... and that we can... you know...” he said while gesturing towards their hands and she squeezed his before letting go and nodding her head while reaching for the door. 

“I was serious, Arnoldo. Now stop being so unsure of yourself and just let it happen, alright? I've been waiting a long time for this.” 

“I know you have,” Arnold said sheepishly before grabbing her arm as she tried to leave and saying one more thing, “And Helga?” 

“Yeah Arnold?” 

He pulled her close to him and quickly pecked her on the cheek, nervous to do so in case her parents caught the two of them on the emporium front step. “Goodnight,” he said and then turned around to leave Helga with her blood on fire where she stood quivering from his goodnight kiss. 

“Goodnight, Arnold.” 

~~~

Helga made her way around the corner with Phoebe to the next day to meet up with Gerald and Arnold, his hand ready for hers immediately with a smile on his face. 

“You sure you're okay being seen with me?” Helga asked and Arnold nodded his head assuredly. 

“Positive.” He responded as she took his hand, electricity sparking throughout her body at his touch. 

They traveled the few blocks hand in hand to PS118, Helga unsure of herself as they moved; unsure as to just what her classmates might think. Would they stare? Would they laugh? Would they even take her seriously as she walked hand in hand with the object of her long-term affection? 

Only the true test of walking down the halls would tell as they walked up the steps of the school and entered the building, the world seeming to move in half time as they began walking down the hallway. 

Arnold's hand felt hot in hers, her own growing clammy as she gripped his tightly while they wandered to their classroom. Helga looked around the hallway, eyes following the two of them it seemed and it made her angry at best. Who were they to stare at her? Who were they to even look her way when she should be glowing with pride at her most achieved goal of being with Arnold once and for all? 

Just out of earshot, she heard mumbles, sounds that sounded muffled but she could just quite make out the words. 

“Is that Arnold?” 

“Is that HELGA?” 

“Are they TOGETHER?” 

“Golly!” 

“Would you look at that!” 

She wanted to thrash out. She wanted to pound each of their heads into their appropriate lockers and show them who's boss but Arnold's hand kept her at bay and soon she heard his words which pulled her out of her daydreams of beating her fellow classmates. 

“Helga? Are you okay?” He asked, and she shook her head to get herself out of her fog and looked over at him. 

“Everyone is staring.” She replied and Arnold shrugged his shoulders, completely unphased. 

“So what?” He asked and Helga frowned. 

“That doesn't bother you in the SLIGHTEST?” She demanded but Arnold merely shook his head. 

“No, they're just surprised is all. Let them be,” Arnold said calmly, but Helga couldn't allow herself to be calm, even around Arnold, as much as she wanted to be. 

“How can I DO that, though? When they're all just... STARING at us?” 

Arnold squeezed her hand and let go of her hand, effectively cutting off their bond for their short moment. “Maybe we'll stop and then they'll stop staring.” 

Helga frowned and immediately grabbed his hand back and glared at him. “Are you kidding me? Who said I wanted to stop, huh?” She asked and he chuckled to himself. 

“Whatever you say, Helga,” he said as they rounded the hallway and entered their classroom, making their way to their appropriate desks and then letting go of each other's hands in unison, Helga still feeling uncomfortable as eyes continued to stare at her from where she sat in her desk. 

Just as she was beginning to feel semi-normal again, her heart rate having calmed down from the impression her and Arnold had made this morning, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd strutted over to her desk and set two perfectly manicured hands on the top of her desk and smiled down at her with narrowed eyes. 

“Good morning Helga.” Rhonda greeted, her bright teeth glimmering under the florescent lighting. 

“Uh... hiya princess. What brings you here to my office this early in the morning?” Helga asked with a raised brow and Rhonda smirked while leaning in towards her and licking her glossed lips slightly before speaking. 

“Saw you in the hallway this morning,” she began, Helga's eyes widening. “Kind of hard to miss when you're holding the hand of the most popular guy in our grade.” 

“A-Arnold?” She stuttered out and Rhonda nodded her head once. 

“Arnold indeed,” She said, leaning in further. “Are you two an item, Helga? I must say, I'm impressed. I didn't think you had it in you.” 

Helga frowned and then leaned in towards Rhonda and glared. “Had it in me to actually be with someone you find 'cool' when I'm so 'uncool' myself?” 

“Au contraire, Helga my dear,” she said while reaching out to brush away a stray hair from Helga's face while she reached out to slap the manicured hand away from her face. “I'm impressed because you did it all yourself without help from anyone else.” 

“What like I need someone like you to do something for me or something?” 

“Well you are a tad abrasive, especially for Arnold, don't you think? I'm just surprised you won his heart after all... maybe my marriage predictor was right...” She muttered to herself and Helga slammed her hands on the desk and stood up, her face mere inches from Rhonda's now. 

“Screw your marriage predictor, Rhonda, this was all me. You know NOTHING, you got it? You're just some spoiled, rich, know-nothing, BRAT who needs to get AWAY from me before I smash your head into my desk. Got it?” Helga threatened and Rhonda took a step back from Helga, her heals clicking with each step she took. 

“Fine, Helga. But I really was just trying to pay you a compliment and tell you that I that I... well... I approve.” 

“Like I need your COMPLIMENT, Lloyd. Like I need your APPROVAL. Get out of my face. NOW!” Helga hollered over the school bell and she plopped down in her chair, Arnold's eyes stuck on her from where she sat after her run-in with the most popular girl in the school. 

“Are you okay?” Arnold whispered over to her and Helga nodded her head vigorously while staring ahead at the blackboard. 

“Yeah, Arnold. I'm just peachy.” 

~~~

“I can't believe we're at the end of this stupid lunch line,” Helga complained as she stood waiting with Arnold behind Sheena and Eugene. “We're even behind the dweebs.” 

“Helga...” Arnold scolded but Helga didn't apologize for her comment. 

“Well we ARE, aren't we? I mean criminy! Can't we cut a BREAK today or what?” She shouted with a tapping of her foot as the line slugged along. But Sheena and Eugene were too busy talking to even move an inch along in the line and that bothered Helga. “Could we PLEASE move along you two? Cripes!” 

“Helga, are you sure you're okay? You're acting a little--” 

“Aggitated? Frustrated? Completely annoyed?” She tried but Arnold remained flat and stared at her. 

“Hostile.” He finished and Helga took a deep breath. 

“Sorry,” She said after a moment. “I guess this whole being nice thing isn't something I'm really used to doing with you. Maybe it's getting to me or something. I mean,” she said with a chuckle, “ I haven't even thrown a single spitball at you all day today.” 

“I know,” he said, “or pulled a prank on me at all. How does it feel?” 

Helga thought about this for a while and smiled over at him as they finally took their trays from the line and began making their way towards their friends waving them over to their usual table. “It feels good, actually. Believe that or not. Just weird is all. But a good weird.” 

“Well I'm glad to hear that.” Arnold replied with an equally as big smile, only distracting Helga for a moment before Harold called out from across the lunch room in a loud booming voice. 

“Hey look! It's Helga and her big caterpillar eyebrow with Awnold!” He mocked and Helga narrowed her eyes at him from where she stood now frozen in the cafeteria, though Arnold had ignored it and continued to make his way towards the table set in his sights. 

“Yeah!” Sid laughed from where he sat beside Harold and Stinky, “And they were holding HANDS this morning!” 

“Ha ha ha,” Harold laughed as Helga drew near to him with her tray, “Helga and Arnold sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes LOVE, then comes MARRIAGE, then comes a baby in a baby--” but before he could finish singing his ridiculous song, Helga had smashed her tray of food smack dab in his face so hard that he fell back off of his chair and onto the floor. 

“Helga!!” Arnold exclaimed while standing up from the table he'd just sat down at beside Gerald and Phoebe and the cafeteria grew quiet as the sound of her tray clattered to the ground. 

“Try it again, fat boy, and see what happens THEN,” Helga finalized before walking over to where Arnold was still standing in shock and calmly sat down next to him. “So where were we?” 

“Why did you do that, Helga?” Arnold asked while sitting down slowly and Helga shrugged her shoulders. 

“Because he was making fun of us, DOI, keep up with the times Hair Boy. I had to do SOMETHING.” She defended but Arnold shook his head defiantly. 

“No, Helga, you didn't. You could have let him be. He was just being... Harold.” 

“And that's an excuse to make fun of people?” Helga asked and Arnold narrowed his eyes at Helga to a half-lidded gaze. 

“It used to be enough for you.” He reminded her and she frowned. 

“You know I had my reasons...” she muttered but Arnold only sighed before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a brown paper bag. 

“Here,” He said while handing her the bag. “I wasn't expecting you to have money for lunch today--” 

“I scrounged it out of Bob's pants pockets this morning from the dirty laundry,” Helga interrupted as Arnold continued. 

“--but seeing as you don't have lunch now... you'd better take this.” he finished and Helga eyed it curiously. 

“What is it?” She asked before peeking inside to see a sandwich, some chips and an apple. 

“It's lunch. From my mom. She made it for you. Just in case.” 

Helga's jaw dropped at the kind gesture from Arnold's mother and she told herself that she had to remember to thank Stella later. She'd cared? She'd cared enough about Helga and her story about her parents that she'd wanted to make her lunch just to make sure that she had some food to eat for lunch? How could someone be so nice? How could someone care so much about another person when they hardly knew them? It was such a foreign situation to her that she didn't know how to handle it or how to even say 'thank you.' 

As for Arnold, he was thinking of much more different things. He was confused. He couldn't understand how Helga had focused on being so nice to him all day and so horrible to everyone else. Hadn't she changed? Hadn't being with him changed her in some way enough that she could finally stop her bullying once and for all? After all, wasn't the bullying just a cover for her secret adoration for him? And now that it was all out in the open, the cover could be blown, couldn't it? What was holding her back now? 

As they both sat and wondered their separate thoughts, Gerald and Phoebe looked to one another and back at their friends ahead of them, clearly in distress. If they could figure it all out, couldn't their friends? Certainly Arnold and Helga, two of the smartest kids they knew, could.


	5. Milk and Cookies

The rest of the week progressed as Arnold and Helga continued on their journey together of holding hands on their way to school; Arnold determined not to let the others get to them when it came to their newfound relationship. Sure, they might just be in the sixth grade, but a relationship was a relationship and he took it seriously knowing that it could one day lead to something more if he played his cards right. Feelings were important to him, and he certainly had plenty for Helga, despite her rough exterior. 

And while he knew the inside of Helga G. Pataki wasn't as rough as the outside, unfortunately for the others of PS118, they weren't aware of this tidbit, and as the week continued on, so did Helga's wrath against others that weren't Arnold P. Shortman. 

Helga seemed determined to take her rage out on anyone else who was listening. Her outbursts were uncalled for, unworthy, and undesired. She took them out on everyone, and nobody was safe, not even the sweetest of people. She mocked and scowled and glared at anyone she came in contact with who wasn't Arnold or Phoebe, (even Gerald at times fell victim to her charades) and her class was becoming less tolerant and more frustrated with her by the second. 

“What is with that Helga lately?” Rhonda asked on the playground one day and Stinky shrugged his shoulders while handing upside down from the monkey bars. 

“I reckon she's just in one of them moods 'er somethin'.” He said and Rhonda shook her head while crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I've had moods, Stinky. They hardly last a week.” She said before taking a seat on the picnic table and crossing her legs. “Ever since her and Arnold got together, she's been hardly tolerable. I mean, she's been practically on a warpath for blood.” 

“Maybe she's just having an off week,” Eugene said optimistically but Rhonda furrowed her brows and shook her head again at his idea. 

“No,” she stated, “being with Arnold should have enlightened her I'd think. The poor girl has been in love with the boy for practically forever. I mean, remember that Romeo and Juliet play? It has to have been since at least then. That kiss...” She shook her head at the thought of it and tried to focus her thoughts on what could be making Helga act so out of turn all the time as of recently. 

“I'm sure Helga's just oh so happy to be with Arnold,” Lila murmured from where she sat on the swingset nearby, “Perhaps she's just taking out her aggression that she'd usually take out on him, on us.” 

“Well that's preposterous.” Rhonda said with a tilt of her head to the sky. “What could we have done to deserve this?” 

“Maybe by acknowledging their ever so new relationship?” Lila continued. “Maybe Helga isn't ready for everyone to notice the two of them.” 

“Well then maybe they shouldn't go around holding hands all the time,” Rhonda sneered back at Lila while gesturing towards the two of them from across the playground where they played foursquare with Phoebe and Gerald. 

“It isn't their fault, Rhonda. Maybe they're in love.” Lila said with a clasp of her hands as Rhonda scoffed. 

“Love? Ha! They're 11! We hardly know what love is!” She exclaimed though Lila remained certain of her words. 

“Even so, maybe if we didn't bring up their relationship to them so often, like rub it in their face or treated them differently or whatnot, Helga might back off from treating us so poorly. It's just an idea.” 

But as hard as the kids would try, it didn't stop Helga from her warpath, even if Lila was right about why she was acting out in the first place. 

~~~

“You ready to walk to the boarding house?” Helga asked after school and Arnold looked around at everyone as they ran out of the school doors and down the steps to the appropriate directions of their homes. 

“I thought we could take the bus today,” Arnold said and Helga shrugged her shoulders. 

“Alright, suit yourself,” She said, following him to the bus stop and loading onto the vehicle while paying the driver and finding a seat next to him. Once they were seated and the bus started moving, Arnold knew it was time to say the words he'd been thinking about all day long. 

“Helga, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Arnold started and Helga turned to face him and raised a brow. 

“Okay... and what's that?” She asked. 

“What's with the bullying lately?” Arnold questioned, him turning to face her as the bus drove down the streets of Hillwood, bumping along the road with each mile they went. 

“Huh?” She breathed out, completely surprised that he'd noticed her sudden animosity towards everyone... something she'd hardly even noticed herself. 

“You've been... really... horrible towards everyone lately. Even more so than usual. Except me.” He noted and Helga frowned while turning away from him. 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” She stated, her head still facing away from him. 

“I think you do. I mean, just today, Rhonda was telling me--” But Helga cut him off before he could continue his sentence. 

“Rhonda? Really? You're going to go off something Princess said?” Helga snapped back at him and Arnold leaned back a bit from Helga at her sudden change of tone. 

“Helga, I'm just trying to talk to you about something the others have brought up to me because it's a little alarming to them. You've been treating them really rough lately. Is there a reason why?” He asked and Helga chewed on her lip for a moment, deciding whether or not she should spill her guts and tell him all the reasons she does what she does when it comes to bullying the other kids around the schoolyard. 

Helga turned to stare out the window of the bus and saw the boarding house come into view and quickly reached up to pull on the pully to signal to the bus driver for him to stop the vehicle. 

“C'mon Arnold, we'd better go before we miss our stop or we'll be walking after all,” she said while standing up quickly and sliding passed him to walk down the aisle and off the bus, Arnold remaining behind startled but slowly rising and following after her, his thoughts still focused on getting an answer out of her one way or another. 

But Arnold had little success, no matter how hard he tried. It seemed that no matter how many times he brought up the subject of Helga's newfound bullying, she found a way to avoid it and turn the subject around completely. Whether it was back on the topic of their history assignment, off the topic entirely or escaping altogether in the kitchen to help Stella and Gertie prepare dinner, Helga managed to avoid the topic all night and by the time Helga left for the evening, Arnold still had no more answers than he had when he'd brought it up in the first place. 

The whole thing was very frustrating to him, but very satisfying to Helga. She'd managed to avoid Arnold's interrogation at least for one more day and that was enough for her. At least it gave her 24 more hours to think of a suitable answer for the next time he questioned her which, knowing Arnold, would be by tomorrow at the very least. 

So after Helga's detour around the city, she returned late that night to her home, or at least to the beeper empire, where she could rest up for the next day in preparation to deal with her annoying classmates while she swooned at the idea of spending yet another day in bliss holding hands with Arnold through the halls and as they walked to school. That was until she got a slap-in-the-face-of-a-greeting from Big Bob himself the moment she walked in the door. 

“Nice to see you finally showed up,” Bob sneered as Helga closed the door behind her, Bob standing in front of her with his arms crossed and a glare on his face. 

“What, like I was supposed to be here or something? Like you even noticed I was gone?” She responded and Bob continued his glare as she set her bookbag down on the ground beside where she stood. 

“You've been gone this whole week, little lady! And tonight is the latest yet! I think...” Bob exclaimed while throwing his arms up in the air before pointing a fat finger in her face. “Who's supposed to set up the dang displays if I have to do all the work around here? I mean Miriam certainly isn't any help...” He muttered and Miriam raised from the couch for a brief moment at the sound of her name and looked around confused. 

“I'm... I'm up.” She stuttered and both Bob and Helga rolled their eyes. 

“Look,” Bob said, “You gotta stop going over to that orphan boy friend of yours house, you got that? I need help around the emporium and that's an order.” 

Helga raised her brow and crossed her arms over her chest. “And just what makes you think I'll do THAT?” She asked. “I've felt more welcome over there than I've EVER felt in my own HOUSE, dad, doesn't that SAY something to you?” 

“As a matter of fact, it DOES say something-- it says that you've lost sight of your place here at the beeper emporium and where you fit in this empire I've built single-handedly from the ground up.” But Helga laughed in his face and quickly cut him off. 

“Oh, you're wrong, Bob, you are SO wrong because for YOUR information, I HAVE found something and I've found it not in your lame beeper store but in that not-so-orphan-boy Arnold that I'm always seeing. He's my pretty much my BOYFRIEND now and I'm not even afraid to say so anymore.” 

Bob shook his head. “And how long is THAT gonna last you think, huh? What are you, 7?” 

“I'm 11, dad! 11!” Helga shouted, her voice breaking as she hollered; her voice echoing in the empty emporium building that surrounded them. “Can you ever get that through your thick skull or do you just not care about me THAT MUCH to never remember my actual birthday? Or my birthyear? Or my actual BIRTH? Do I really matter that LITTLE to you?” 

“Of course you matter to me, Olga,” he said and Helga threw her arms up in the air. 

“See THAT'S what I'm talking about, dad. It's HELGA. Helga. H-E-L-G-A, HEL-GA. Not your precious Olga, but Helga. Criminy! You know, I don't have to take this,” she said while grabbing her backpack off the floor and reaching for a coat from off of a box nearby. 

“And just where do you think you're off to NOW?” Bob demanded as Helga opened the door to the world outside. 

“I'm going somewhere where I KNOW people care about me. Where people know my name and know more about me than the fact that I can set up a stinkin' beeper display in a god-forsaken window,” She explained and Bob raised a brow. 

“And just where's that?” He asked and Helga just smirked while shaking her head. 

“You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you dad?” She asked calmly, her words soft and still like the night itself. 

And with that, Helga walked out the doors of the beeper emporium for the destination she knew she belonged at before she'd even left its safe doors. Her safe haven. 

~~~

A soft knock came from the top of Arnold's skylight window and he opened his eyes to see Helga just above him looking down at him from the glass above. 

“Helga?” He asked himself before getting out of bed and climbing up the ladder to open the window for her. “Helga,” He asked once he'd let her in, “What are you doing here? It's so late...” 

“Criminy, it's only 10 o'clock, what are you 90?” She snapped back at him before sighing and following him down the ladder steps. “Sorry it's just been... it's been a rough night.” 

Once they were down the steps and safely onto the bed, Arnold turned to look at her, still in her clothes from this afternoon and raised a brow. “You wanna talk about it?” 

She let out a deep breath and turned away from him before frowning and pursing her lips as she did so. “Not really,” She muttered before doing so anyway. “It's just my dad,” she blurted out after a minute of silence. “I got home after taking a walk around town and he just EXPLODED at me for not showing up to help him with his STUPID beeper display. I mean, nobody is BUYING the dang things, it isn't like some new fancy display is gonna DO anything, but NO, he doesn't LISTEN to me.” She huffed out a breath before pulling her legs up to sit cross legged and stared down at her lap before continuing. 

“So then we start fighting about how I'm always here, and how I'm never there which honestly bothered me because when has he EVER noticed my existence except for when he needs me for something, right? Like he doesn't CARE about me, not like any OTHER father cares about his daughter... not like he cares about Olga. Anyway, one thing led to another and soon I was out on the street walking to your place. And here I am.” She finished, Arnold nodding his head as he listened to her every word, taking it all in like a sponge. 

“I'm sorry to hear that, Helga,” he said sympathetically while reaching up to place a hand on her shoulder. “It isn't right for him to treat you like that. But...” he said while dropping his hand, “won't you get in trouble for being here? If he doesn't like you here in the first place, won't it make him more angry that you're here?” 

“Who cares?” Helga said while leaning back on her hands, “He'll get over it. He usually does. I'll just tell him I went to spend the night at Phoebe's. She'll cover for me. He'll be none the wiser.” 

“Well alright,” Arnold said unconvinced while standing up from the bed and Helga pushed herself up to sit straight and looked at him curiously. 

“What are you doing?” She asked and Arnold turned around to face her. 

“Going to tell my parents you're here.” He said and Helga frowned. 

“You can't just hide me for a night and let me escape in the morning?” She asked and Arnold chuckled while shaking his head. 

“I'm sure they'd rather you have somewhere nice to sleep than just on my couch. Besides, wouldn't you like breakfast in the morning?” He asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders. 

“I almost NEVER have breakfast in the morning,” she replied and Arnold smiled. 

“All the more reason for you to have it tomorrow when you wake up. I'll be right back,” And with that, he left Helga in his room to wander downstairs to his parents room to let them know of her existence as she waited to be separated yet again from the one person who understood her like the back of their hand... the true savior of her safe haven that she was at last in. Safe from home. Safe from Bob. Safe from the world that had it out for her. 

~~~

There hadn't been any extra rooms left in the boarding house since Stella and Miles moved back in, so Helga was forced to sleep on the couch in the living room which was still a step up from her sleeping bag back at the emporium. Either way, the couch was still old, and the springs dug into her back no matter which way she moved and she was starting to grow frustrated with the couch with each toss and turn she made. 

“Stinkin' couch,” she grumbled as she fluffed the pillow under her head and turned to face the kitchen who's light went on the moment she flipped and her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness as the light switched. “What the...?” She asked allowed as a dark figure peeked in to where she was laying. 

“You still awake?” Miles whispered and Helga pushed herself up to sit sideways on the couch and looked at him with tired eyes. 

“Still awake,” she sighed and Miles nodded while holding up a finger. 

“One sec,” he said before disappearing into the light and then reappearing with a plate and two glasses in hand. “I brought some reinforcements,” he announced before turning on the lamp on the nearest table and sitting down beside her on the couch. 

“What are those?” Helga asked while rubbing her eyes as her pupils tried to adjust to even more brightness in the small living room. 

“The cookies Stella and I made this afternoon while you and Arnold were at school,” he said proudly. “And so far, I've only had six of them.” 

Helga chuckled while shaking her head. “Sounds like you're pretty stoked about that.” 

“Takes a lot of self-control, I know.” 

“Well you sound to be pretty in control there with you and your six cookies,” Helga noted before reaching over and taking a glass of milk from his hand as he nodded his head. 

“You got that right,” he said before offering her the plate of cookies. “Cookie?” 

Helga thought about this, “Honestly? I prefer pork rinds for a midnight snack, but after discovering they cause sleepwalking... I guess a cookie will have to do.” She decided before reaching over and taking a lone cookie off of the plate and dipping it into her glass of milk before tossing it into her mouth. “So what brings you up so late?” 

“Can't sleep,” he said in between bites of his own cookie. “You?” He asked and Helga shrugged her shoulders. 

“Same. Plus, this couch sucks. No offense.” 

Miles shrugged back at her. “None taken. It's been here since I was a kid. It really should be replaced.” 

“Tell that to my back,” Helga said while stealing another cookie off of the plate. 

“So what's on your mind? Family troubles?” Miles pressed and Helga eyed him suspiciously. 

“How'd you know?” She asked and he sighed before setting the plate of cookies on his lap. 

“Stella told me a bit about your home life.” He admitted and Helga dropped her head back and rolled her eyes. 

“Criminy! What's with you Shortmans and your having to fix everything, huh?” Helga asked and Miles chuckled while sending a half-smile her way. 

“I'm not trying to fix anything, honestly. Just trying to help.” He said earnestly and Helga pursed her lips. 

“Same difference.” 

Miles shook his head, "There's quite a big difference between helping and fixing things, honestly. I can't fix your home life, no matter how much I want to. However, I certainly could help, if you'd let me try."   
Helga watched him for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not sure how you could help more than you already have, Miles."   
"Well at least I'm getting somewhere though, right?" He asked and Helga thought about this for a moment before nodding her head.   
"Yeah, you and Stella have helped quite a bit, actually. Just being here helps. Anything to get away from that dump of the beeper empire." Helga said, Miles nodding his head before thinking through his next words carefully.   
"Look, Helga, if there's something that's going on at your house that makes you leave in the middle of the night to go somewhere else that makes you feel safer, then there's something seriously wrong going on. Are you safe there?” He asked seriously and Helga nodded her head. 

“I'm safe in the physical sense, yes,” she said before looking down at her glass of milk and sighing. “But I guess I just wish my family cared about me more or something.” 

“What do you mean? You don't think they care?” Miles asked and Helga continued staring down at her milk, getting lost in the white of the liquid. 

“It isn't that I THINK they don't care, I KNOW they don't care.” Helga insisted and Miles nodded his head while taking another cookie and chewing on it quietly. 

“Well if that's true,” Miles said, “then I think they're missing out on a pretty great daughter that they've raised.” 

“Hardly,” Helga retorted but Miles disagreed. 

“No, Helga, they really are.” 

“Not that part,” Helga explained, “just the part about them raising me. By all accounts, I've pretty much raised myself.” 

“Then in my opinion? If it matters?” Miles started before Helga turned to look over at him, “I think you've done an excellent job.” 

“You really think so?” She asked and Miles nodded his head sincerely with a smile on his face. 

Miles reached out to set a hand on Helga's shoulder and squeezed it for a moment. “I know so, Helga. And maybe if you looked inside yourself and saw yourself the way others see you, the way my Arnold sees you, you might see that too.” 

“Seriously?” Helga questioned and Miles stood up from the couch, cookies and milk still in hand and made his way to the kitchen before stopping to turn around and look at her once more. 

“Try the journaling thing, just once,” he encouraged, 

“Journaling? Really? You're on that again?” She asked with a smirk and he nodded his head. 

“You'd be surprised what journaling does for you and your psyche. Heck, it's even just fun to journal about your day. And even more fun to look at it years down the road and see what you were going through and how far you've come-- the road you've traveled.” 

Helga rolled her eyes. “Well you find me the right journal then, bucko,” she told him and he chuckled. 

“I might just take you up on that offer if it gets you to try it,” he said from the doorway, “who knows? You might learn something about yourself.” 

“And if I don't?” She challenged. 

“Then you might learn something about the world.” 

And with that, he left into the kitchen, the light soon turning off to leave Helga under the light of the lamp beside her and the questions he'd given her to think about.


	6. Aftermaths

By the time the week was over and Helga and Arnold had presented their history project, Helga had become pretty acquainted with the boarding house and its inhabitants. So familiar in fact, that once the project was over, she continued gracing them with her presence almost every day after school. She enjoyed feeling welcome there and feeling like she was a part of something bigger than herself. It was much different than it felt at home and at the beeper empire, that's for sure. At the boarding house, she felt like she was part of an actual family, even if it wasn't one of her own. 

She just wished that it was hers. 

But even if it wasn't, they had embraced her like she was without any questions asked. She became so familiarized with the boarding house, the boarders and family began to wonder where she was on days she didn't show up and ask her about her days when she would return. They asked her about school and about her home life and soon she wasn't afraid to tell them about how life actually was back with Miriam and Bob. She even began to open up about her life with Olga and her animosity towards her, something she rarely talked about, even with herself. 

It was amazing what they had done for her, what they had helped change her into becoming. It was like weights were becoming to lift off of her shoulders and life was starting to be manageable in even the simplest of ways, ways she had never imagined they could be. How had she gone this long in her life without feeling this way? 

But even so, even feeling all this, there was something missing within her that made her continue the act that was her life outside the boarding house's walls. At school, Helga continued her charade of being the bully that had become expected of her, the bully that she had forced herself to become. She picked and teased at others, much to their dismay, and it seemed that daily it only got worse as her insides brewed at the lack of attention she paid to Arnold and the more attention she paid to others. It became so bad, that the crew of kids finally went to Arnold in an act of desperation one day when he was away from Helga for the briefest of moments. 

“Arnold, we have to talk to you,” Sid begged as he pulled Arnold's arm towards the group of kids who were waiting to talk to him around the picnic table. 

“What's... what's going on?” He asked, Gerald atop the picnic table with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Phoebe's got Helga distracted so we can talk to you,” he said, “you need a SERIOUS Helga-vention.” 

“A Helga-vention? Like an intervention of Helga?” Arnold asked and the ground simultaneously nodded their heads in agreement. 

“You're blinded, man,” Gerald said. “And don't tell me you aren't because you are, we've all seen it.” 

“How am I blinded?” Arnold asked while looking around at the group and trying to make eye contact with each individual person, “We still have gin rummy night. We still meet at Gerald field for games. We still do all the same things we've always done... so how am I blinded?” He asked and Rhonda stood up from the group to announce the real trouble concerning everyone. 

“It isn't like you're obsessed with her or anything, it's that she's acting horrible to ALL of us!” She said and the group mumbled 'yes's above each other while nodding their heads as Arnold frowned and looked down at his hands. 

“Oh,” he quietly said while staring down at his fingers. 

“Yeah, man,” Gerald said, “you've been so busy with Helga that you haven't been paying attention to see just how crazy she's been acting.” 

“The thing is...” Arnold said quietly, “I have noticed, it's just that... well... I tried talking to her about it and she kind of... she kind of ignored me.” 

“She ignored you?” Gerald asked, surprised. 

“Yeah,” Arnold said tilting his head back up to look at everyone. “No matter how many times I brought it up to her, she wouldn't tell me why she was acting so mean to everyone. She won't tell me and she clearly won't stop.” 

“But you're Arnold!” Sid said from the crowd. 

“Yeah! If it's anyone who can show Helga the light, it's you, Arnold!” Eugene encouraged but Arnold merely shrugged his shoulders. 

“I'm not sure she's ready. She's clearly doing it for a reason, I just can't figure out why yet,” He said solemnly. “And if I can't figure out why, then I can't stop her from doing anything or convince her to quit.” 

“But you have to try,” Sheena squeaked while clasping her hands in front of her chest, “you're our only hope.” 

“Yeah man, YOU'RE the only one who can get through to her, after all...” Gerald said with a hand on his friend's shoulder as he looked down at him with sympathetic eyes. 

Arnold looked around at his friends who were pleading with their eyes for him to help them in the only way they knew how... and he knew he had to try again. Even if that meant he had to deal with the wrath of Helga G. Pataki once again. 

~~~

“You know my mom and you sure do make some great pasta,” Arnold commented as they headed up the stairs to his room and Helga shrugged her shoulders. 

“It really wasn't that hard, actually,” She said, “I'm just glad I was able to come around for another family dinner.” 

“Well, this has been your fourth one now,” Arnold said with a smile and Helga grinned. 

“That's true. I've kinda put a kink in your tradition, haven't I?” Helga chewed on her lip for a moment for fear he'd agree, but Arnold merely shook his head. 

“You've just made the tradition better, Helga,” he said honestly and Helga nodded her head, actually believing him for one of the first times in her life. 

“If you say so, football-head,” She replied as they entered his room and he shut the door behind him, making his way awkwardly to the couch and patting the spot beside him. 

“Sit down, I uh... I wanna talk.” He said and Helga eyed him curiously before wandering to his side and taking a seat beside him. 

“Talk?” Helga repeated, her heart suddenly racing as she recognized the phrase most people used to break off relationships with another person. Had she done something wrong? She thought that since she'd made her decision to treat Arnold nicer, things had been going really well. They'd held hands everyday, they even shared another kiss (even if it had only been on the cheek), and Arnold had just said that she'd made his family tradition all the more better-- weren't those all signs of a good relationship? Or was there something she just wasn't seeing that he had seen all along? 

Nervously, she nodded her head as he continued to gesture for her to sit down next to him and she made her way towards him before sitting down beside him and taking a deep, shaky breath. “Sure, Hair Boy, let's talk. What's on that football-headed mind of yours?” She tried with humor and Arnold took an equally shaky breath at what he knew would be disastrous if he didn't go about it the right way. 

“So things have been going well lately, don't you think?” He began, testing the waters of Helga's mood and she nodded her head, unsure as to where he was headed with this particular conversation. 

“Well that depends, smart guy, do YOU think they've been going well? Cause you've kind of got me all nervous here with this sit down talk you've got going on...” Helga demanded and Arnold knew immediately that he'd started in the wrong direction. 

“No, no, I think it's going fine--” 

“Fine?” Helga asked, slightly disappointed. 

“Great, really, Helga, this isn't about us, I promise,” Arnold reassured her and she took a deep breath before letting it out along with most of her tension before relaxing into the couch. 

“Well THAT'S a relief. Criminy, Arnold! You had me panicking over here!” She exclaimed and Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck slightly ashamed. 

“I'm really sorry, I didn't mean for it to come across like that...” He said and Helga nodded her head before turning to look at him. 

“So what is it then?” 

“What is what?” Arnold asked and Helga raised her brow. 

“What...did you want to talk to me about?” She asked and Arnold nodded his head more to himself than to her, trying to remind himself just what it was again that he had brought her over to talk with him about. 

“Right, right,” he said nervously, remembering the conversation back at school with his friends and knowing just what he had to do. But as he looked at Helga, as he looked at her strong brow and deep azure eyes, he didn't know if he could muster the courage it would take to talk to Helga about the sensitive topic he knew he had to bring up for his friends' sake. As important as it was to them, he wasn't sure he was willing to risk this great thing he had going with Helga for the sake of everyone else. 

Was that being selfish of him, he wondered to himself. Was it selfish to want to keep this nice Helga all to himself and not share her with everyone else? He was so enjoying the time they shared together and the relationship they were building with every day that went by that they shared. But with a deep breath, he knew in his heart of hearts what he had to do, and he adjusted in his seat before struggling to do the right thing. 

“Helga, the other day I brought something up, and you kind of avoided telling me an answer.” He said quietly and Helga raised her brow at this. 

“Oh?” She said, “And what was it that I didn't answer?” She asked, knowing all too well what it was he was talking about. 

“You see,” Arnold began again, his hands wringing together in his lap in anxiety, “our friends sort of brought it up to me again today and I realized that I hadn't been persistent enough in trying to get it out of you. I realized that I'd been too focused on us and that has been really selfish of me.” 

“Selfish, huh.” Helga stated while crossing her arms over her chest, “doesn't SOUND very selfish to me.” 

“Well it has been,” Arnold said sadly, “because I haven't been thinking of the good of our classmates and frankly, well, neither have you.” 

Helga straightened her posture at his words and frowned. “Just what are you SAYING, huh, bucko?” She insisted with a pointer finger; her guard coming up slowly as Arnold continued on his quest of the right thing to do for the good of the people. 

“What I'm trying to say is,” Arnold tried before taking a deep breath and deciding to just come out with it, “your bullying is really getting out of control. I don't know if it's because you feel the need to because you aren't picking on me so much of the time anymore or what, but you're really hurting a lot of people's feelings and--” 

“So what?” Helga said nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders. “So what about a few feelings? Aren't OUR feelings more important?” 

“Nobody's feelings are more important than another person's, Helga,” Arnold explained, “and I think that if you really tried, you could break the cycle of bullying and just--” 

“Just WHAT, Arnold?” Helga fought back, her words growing harsh as she spoke. “Be some stick in the mud like you?” 

“A stick in the mud? Really, Helga?” Arnold repeated and Helga sighed. 

“That isn't what I meant--” 

“Then what did you mean?” Arnold asked, Helga trying to find a good excuse to get her out of this conversation while still salvaging their relatively-new relationship. 

“What I MEANT to say is that I don't want to just be some NOBODY who gets pushed around all the time and picked on, okay? I don't want people to start SEEING me different just because we're together.” She explained and Arnold nodded his head while disagreeing with her. 

“I understand that, Helga, but I don't think that people will see you any different. Right now, they're just afraid of you. And is that what you really want? Is for people to be afraid of you?” He asked and Helga thought about this for a moment as Arnold frowned. 

“You really have to think about this, Helga?” He asked and she held up a finger. 

“It's a hard decision for me, okay?” 

“To choose to be feared?” Arnold asked and Helga threw her arms in the air. 

“Well what do you EXPECT, Arnold!? I've been like this my whole freakin' life in case you hadn't figured that out yet!” She exclaimed and Arnold sighed while dropping his head into his hands. 

“I knew this was a bad idea...” He muttered and Helga stood up from the couch to face him with her hands on her hips. 

“What, BE with me?” She asked and Arnold snapped his head up to look at her. 

“No, Helga, that's not what I said--” 

“You've said enough for my liking, pal,” Helga said with acidity in her tone and Arnold's eyes widened at her sudden change of tune. “Look, if you don't like me for who I am, JUST as I am—” 

“But I do!” Arnold tried to explain, but Helga wasn't having it and just continued to speak over him. 

“--then you have another thing coming ENTIRELY. I'm Helga G. Pataki, Shortman, and that means you get saddled with whatever baggage I have which, newsflash, is sort of a lot. And if I'm not ready to give up all my bullying yet just for you, then I'm sorry, but that's just the deal. I'll get there, but not at your moronic pushing or the pushing of our 'friends' either.” She turned around to walk towards the door, Arnold standing up to try and stop her but without little luck. 

“Helga...” He tried while reaching out for her, but she merely shook her hand at him to keep him at bay and took the doors handle into her hand. 

“There's a lot more to me than you or even I know. And maybe we just aren't ready for this kind of commitment. Maybe Bob was right...” She said sadly, Arnold's throat closing in on him as a lump grew at the base of his esophagus. 

“Helga, if you'd just listen--” He tried once more but Helga shook her head, her eyes now focused down on the ground. 

“I'm done listening, Arnold,” she muttered, her voice cracking as pools of tears started to well at the bottom of her line of vision. “Thanks for letting me be a part of your family. Even just for a little while.” 

“Helga... please...” Arnold begged while walking towards her, but before he could stop her in her tracks, she was gone, leaving Arnold to himself in his room as Helga walked away from him for what he felt like would be forever. 

~~~

Much to Arnold's surprise, Helga didn't resume her tyranny on their classmates or himself, but chose to ignore everyone instead after their big fight. Even though Arnold tried to reach out to her, she wouldn't budge and he found that every day which went by that he didn't spend talking to her or even being picked on by her or her casual nicknames, was a day wasted. It made him feel sick. It made him itch from the inside out and while his friends were satiated by Arnold's taking action, Arnold couldn't have felt any worse. 

Sure, he'd finally gotten Helga to stop, but at what cost? 

Helga had stopped talking to him. She'd stopped entertaining at games and other events the kids had planned. She'd even stopped coming over. It was like she'd stopped existing towards him completely and the whole thing felt like it was breaking his heart just as it was starting to become full once again. 

Even the boarders and his parents were saddened by the lack-of-Helga in their lives, and it didn't take long for them to say something at the next family dinner in hopes to get something out of their son. 

Arnold picked at his food on his plate while supporting his head by his hand and sighed, his parents exchanging a look before Miles cleared his throat and spoke up. 

“How are you doing champ? You've seemed a bit down since Helga stopped coming over.” He said and Arnold shrugged his shoulders while continuing to play with his food rather than eat it. 

“I guess I'm just disappointed is all,” he replied, his eyes downcast on the mashed potatoes, green beans and meat loaf that they were having that night. 

“Disappointed in what?” Stella asked. “Surely not yourself...” 

Arnold looked up then at his parents, his eyes sad and lost in the world around him. “Of course in myself. If I hadn't brought up the subject about Helga's bullying, she wouldn't have gotten so mad at me and stopped talking to me altogether.” 

“Her reaction isn't your fault, Arnold,” Miles said understandingly, his voice calm and rational, “we can only control our own reactions, unfortunately.” 

“I just wish I had tried to bring it up some other way. I just thought that since we'd had a good night, maybe she'd be up to listening to me... but she never even gave me a chance.” Arnold explained before turning his head back towards his food, his parents continuing to eat their own as they silently talked with their eyes about how to handle this sensitive subject. 

After some eye-dodging and a head nod or two, Miles spoke up, trying to give the best advice he could. 

“You know, Arnold, when it comes to Helga's bullying, you may have some more experience with it than us, but she seems to need it more than you might understand.” He said, Stella nodding her head in agreement. 

“She's a very sweet girl. Incredibly intelligent and has a heart of gold--” 

“Exactly!” Arnold exclaimed as Stella held up a finger to try and finish her sentence. 

“But that doesn't give her the right to act out against you or your friends.” 

Arnold nodded his head. “I know,” he said, “If it means anything, she's stopped completely. But at the same token, she's stopped joining us at Gerald field for our weekly games and she doesn't talk to anyone anymore, not even Phoebe, Gerald told me.” 

“I wonder if she's journaling...” Miles muttered and Stella eyed him from across the table though Arnold hadn't caught his statement. 

“That's certainly her choice, honey,” Stella said, “but I think Helga will come around. You just have to give her some time.” 

“And what if she doesn't?” 

Both of Arnold's parents shared a look before turning to face their child once more and sighing, knowing they couldn't give him an answer to his question. Predicting people was too hard, but predicting how we would feel was even harder, they knew that. All they could offer Arnold were words of encouragement as he struggled with his feelings towards Helga and knew there was nothing they could say that would indefinitely help him in the way that he needed--- what he needed was Helga. 

Meanwhile, Helga sat at the emporium, eating from a bag of cheese-os and staring at a blank sheet of paper. 

“Nothing,” she muttered to herself. “Nothing!” She couldn't find any more words to the heartbreak she felt of leaving Arnold the other day at his house. There was a hole in her heart that she'd never felt before at the absence of Arnold and an even bigger hole at the absence of his family that she'd become so accustomed to seeing most days. It had finally felt like she was part of a family, and now that family was gone. She was family-less. Again. 

And now she didn't even have Arnold to fall back on. 

“Oh, man, what do I DO?” She asked herself, feeling restless as she sat on a box in the corner of the emporium where she knew nobody would find her. “I COULD just go back and apologize... I mean... surely Arnold didn't WANT me to leave. He kept trying to tell me something but I was just so... so... MAD at him for bringing up the bullying thing. Jeez, I'm sure he's just STOKED that I've quit pestering everyone once and for all.” 

She spun around on the box to look out past the boxes and boxes of unopened beepers to see Bob working on another new display while Miriam lay on her usual bed of the couch zonked out once again. 

“But maybe he ISN'T pleased with himself for getting me to quit bugging everyone. Maybe he's just as frustrated as I am even while I sit here miserable. I mean, sure, he has his family to keep him company where I have nobody, but maybe he's just as miserable as I am and wishing I'd come back. After all, we WERE getting pretty close...” 

Helga shook her head while staring down at her feet. “No, that's ridiculous. Arnold doesn't care. If he CARED he would be trying to find YOU you ignoramus. He'd be calling the emporium or stopping by here or doing anything in his football-headed brain that he could think of just to get you back, wouldn't he?” 

She thought about this for a while, her brain going this way and that at the possible situations that Arnold could be dealing with when it came to the two of them before she stood up from the box and brushed off any dirt from her skirt. “No, Helga,” she said to herself definitively, “You aren't DOING this anymore. There's no more waiting for Arnold to come to you. You're a big girl, you can just as easily go over there and admit you messed up as he can come over here. After all, you WERE being pretty mean to everyone and for no real reason...” She marched her way on up towards the front of the store, grabbing her jacket from nearby and slipping it on. 

“You're leaving?” Bob asked, unphased by her going out. 

“Yeah,” she said while opening the door. 

“Are you coming back tonight?” He asked and she shrugged her shoulders. 

“Probably,” she answered before shutting the door behind her and making the walk to get to Arnold's house on this, their family dinner day. 

She knew if she ran, she might make it in time for dessert and she soon found herself sprinting just to get to the boarding house in hopes that she would interrupt the meal so she could be reunited with the family she had come to love as if it were her own. Once she got there, she took a deep breath and made her way up the steps, pausing in front of the door. 

“Okay Helga old girl, you can do this. All you have to do is apologize. It won't be so hard, just quick and painless like a band-aid. Surely you can shut your pride up long enough to do THAT,” she pep talked herself before reaching out to knock on the door, but just as she did that, the door swung wide open and Arnold's face was the one that greeted her there, his eyes wide like saucers the moment he saw her. 

“Helga?” He asked. 

“A-Arnold...” She said and he smiled before reaching out to envelop her in an unexpected hug. 

“I can't believe you came!” He said and as he hugged her, Helga saw the heads of his parents peek out from the kitchen, smiles on their faces before disappearing again to leave the two kids alone with one another. 

“Well I had to apologize you dummy,” Helga said as Arnold released her and he shook his head. 

“You don't have to, I should have tried to reach out to you more but I was... I was---” 

Helga raised a lone hand to stop him and decided to apologize anyway, wanting to do so before she lost her nerve. “Look, I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that,” she began, “and better yet, I shouldn't have just stopped coming here and talking to you and going MIA the way I did, but I was hurt and I didn't know what to do with myself.” 

“I'm sorry you felt that way.” Arnold said. 

Helga shrugged her shoulders. “It's really fine. I realize now that... that I have to take charge of myself sometimes and that I'm the only one in control of my actions.” 

“Funny, I kind of realized the same thing too, today.” 

They stood out on the stoop for a moment, silence sitting between them like an elephant before Arnold shook his head and opened the door wider. “What are we doing standing outside like this,” he said before stepping aside, “Mom made dessert and I was going to skip it but now that you're here, I'm sure you'd love to have some.” 

“Would I ever,” Helga said with a grin before stepping inside the walls of her safe haven once more, the world fitting back into place like pieces of a puzzle finally finding their way back to each other. 

And just like that, the hole inside Helga's heart finally filled back in and she knew that things were right with the world. 

At least for now. And now was good enough.


	7. Holidays

Life resumed normalcy, or as normal as life could for Helga after that moment. She went back to talking to Arnold on a daily basis as well as holding hands once again, something she loved more than all else, and she went back to the weekly games at Gerald Field with all of their friends, though tried not to be as mean as she had previously been. 

The whole thing had become a relief to Arnold, who was worried she might go back to her old ways of bullying once they were back together. But Helga stayed the same and while she kept her sassy remarks and sarcastic comments, her persistent bullying toned down and soon nobody was bothering Arnold to talk to her any more than he usually did about anything in particular. 

Life seemed perfect, and the next few months went by without a hitch. Helga continued to come by on a mostly daily basis to help with dinner and to talk with Miles who she'd become rather close to-- even helping him buy a cellphone and show him which buttons to press to get him to the right screens even if it was a challenge. The two parents were lost within the times and they needed some fresh guidance and Helga was just the person up for the task. 

“So I press this home button?” Miles asked while holding the directions in one hand and adjusting his glasses with the other while the smartphone balanced on his lap. 

“Yeah, that's not the home button, that's the back button.” Helga said with a smirk and he nodded his head. 

“Stella, we've been pressing the wrong button this whole time,” Miles called out while Arnold and Stella worked on supper-- a surprising twist to the usual ritual of their nightly routine. 

“That explains the frustration,” She hollered back and he chuckled to himself with a shake of his head. 

“So what do I do next? How do I get to the internet?” He asked slowly, still not understanding the concept. 

“You tap this button here,” Helga guided with a point of her finger, “and that will take you there in a millisecond.” 

“Wow, this thing is fast!” He exclaimed and Helga agreed. 

“Kind of the idea, but yeah, it's pretty quick,” She said with a smile. 

“Now, the instructions say here that I can get onto this thing called FaceNetwork? What is that?” He asked and Helga sighed, knowing this would be a challenge to explain. 

“FaceNetwork is a social network, it's a place where you can post updates and photos and everything you can imagine for all your friends to see.” She explained but Miles only turned his head and looked at her in confusion. 

“My friends? Like Eduardo? How do they see it though?” He questioned and Helga reached up to rub at the bridge of her nose before answering. 

“They see it through their timeline the same way you see theirs. But you have to create an account first.” She said and he nodded his head before returning his attention to the phone in his hand. 

“I don't just have one?” He asked and Helga laughed. 

“No, uh, that'd be weird,” She replied before tapping the screen to enter FaceNetwork and pointed to the create an account link. “Now tap that and set up through your email. You remember the email we set up, don't you?” 

“Yeah, yeah, MilesIsStillHip13@theplace.com,” he repeated and Helga rolled her eyes at his ridiculous name he'd picked out for himself. 

“Right, well, just plug that in and then make up a password and then you'll be able to set up your account and all that jazz,” she said and he nodded his head before turning to look at her with a raised brow. “What?” She asked and he smiled. 

“How do you know all about this stuff? I thought your parents only sold beepers.” He asked and Helga smirked while crossing her arms. 

“Cellphones are a wave of the future. And I'm TRYING to get them to open up their eyes and see that. Besides, I'm a kid, and kids are just prone to knowing this kind of stuff for some reason,” She explained and Miles chortled to himself before returning his gaze to his phone and plugging in the correct information to set up his FaceNetwork account. 

“Okay, okay, I think I did it. I'm in,” he said before calling out to the kitchen again, “Honey! I've just gotten into the FaceNetwork! Soon we'll be official friends!” 

“That's great, sweetie!” She called back and then with a wink to Helga, he called out once more. 

“Hey Arnold, how would you like to be friends with your dear old dad?” He asked and there was a pause in the kitchen before Arnold finally answered. 

“Sure, dad. But how about you figure out all the ins and outs of the app first, okay?” He said and Miles sighed, not satisfied with Arnold's answered as he was hoping to embarrass him just a bit more. Slowly, he returned back to the phone and took a deep breath. 

“So I'm in now, what do I do from here?” 

Helga spent the next hour going through the app and training Miles on how to post pictures, statuses, and other nonsense so that he could later teach Stella on how to the same things. It wasn't that hard, and Miles made it fun to do so as he had a quick wit just like Helga did. She found that he was easy to talk to and even easier to hang out with. He was a cool dad-- one that she was jealous Arnold had and she didn't. He was the kind of dad almost everyone wished they could have; supportive, kind, funny and caring all while being cool and laid-back while giving superior advice. Except he kept trying to make her step out of her poetry box and try that journaling thing. Maybe because Arnold wasn't a writer like she was. But that was just a theory. 

Stella, however, was just an all-around great mom. She cared a lot and had a heart made of pure gold. She listened impeccably and had a smile that could stop a room. She was elegant, a hard worker, and kind-- all the things her mom COULD be if she wasn't so addicted to her 'smoothies.' It was nice to be around a mom that was all the things she should be and more; a mom that genuinely cared about her child and wanted the best for them no matter the circumstances. While it was unfamiliar territories, she felt at home in the boarding house with the two of them, and to her, she felt like they had become surrogate parents to herself, something that shouldn't be necessary but was given the circumstances. 

Soon, September came and went and October's leaves began to change along with the weather of Hillwood; the cold air sweeping through the city to bring along autumn which brought about Arnold's 12th birthday-- a dilemma that Helga panicked about for days on end before finally finding him the perfect present; a notebook where she pasted a few pictures she'd taken while with Arnold and his family along with notes of memories they'd shared over the years, good and bad, old and new, that gave him a pretty good laugh. She even revealed a few kept secrets in there, secrets that she decided was high time the football-headed boy discovered the truth about on this, his 12th birthday. The secret of Cecile, the secret of finding Mai, along with a few others that brought a tear to young Arnold's eye as he read them. He was amazed at all the work and heart she'd put forth into this gift and he cherished it more than she even knew. 

Next came Halloween which was just around the corner which Arnold and Helga would spend together trick-or-treating with their friends. Helga decided on going as a half-mummy, half ancient Egyptian goddess with help from Stella to make her costume, while Arnold went as the same thing, only half Pharaoh. They found it appropriate given their latest trip to the jungle and their experiences with the natives there and thought it would be a cool idea to mix and match their costumes together-- something they'd never done but knew as a couple, they should do. Meanwhile, their friends all went as other typical horror creatures, Dracula, Freddy, Jason, all the regulars with a few creative ideas here and there. 

Gerald and Phoebe even got into the mix and match idea with their Pop Daddy costumes, being the two lead characters from the show and it made Arnold and Helga feel less weird coming to Rhonda's soiree dressed as a pair of people rather than their own individual costumes. Thankfully, nobody paid mind to the four as they entered her mansion, all their friends already deep in the throws of the party. The only one mentioning anything being Lila who greeted them first when they all walked into the doors. 

“Why hello! Don't you all look just ever so great,” She said while clasping her hands in front of her chest, her costume being that of a princess of some sort. Seemed fitting to Helga. 

“Thanks, Lila,” Gerald said while scooping an arm around Phoebe. “You look pretty great yourself.” 

“Oh, thank you. Rhonda let me borrow a dress of hers as I didn't have a costume this year and she wouldn't let anyone in the door without a costume,” She said with a down expression and Arnold chimed in to try and make her feel better-- something he did best. 

“Well I think you look great,” He said, Helga turning to glare at him and he felt her eyes on his face as it grew hot at her gaze. “H-how do you like our costumes? They were all Helga's idea.” He said suddenly and Helga turned her eyes off of Arnold to look at Lila awaiting a response. 

“They look just ever so creative. I'm sure you put a lot of work into them.” She responded and Helga nodded her head. 

“Yeah, yeah, enough talk,” She said while reaching for Arnold's hand. “Is there a punch bowl around here? I'm parched,” She said and Lila pointed in the direction of the living room where a group of people were dancing to loud music. 

“Over there by the bobbing for apples station,” Lila said. 

“Thanks,” Helga replied while pulling Arnold's arm to escape Lila and her 'ever so's in lieu of the actual party they'd come here for. 

“What was THAT, Arnoldo?” Helga asked once they'd reached the punch bowl and Arnold raised a brow at her. 

“What was what?” He asked and Helga dropped the ladle into the bowl and turned to face him with one hand on her hip as the other held the glass full of punch. 

“That compliment. What were you doing, trying to get with her or something?” She asked and Arnold smirked. 

“What are you, jealous or something? I came to the party with you, I was just trying to make her feel better about her costume.” He replied and Helga's face dropped as she realized just how jealous she sounded. 

“Oh...” She said and Arnold reached over for her hand that was on her hip. 

“You have nothing to be worried about,” he said, “I don't feel that way about Lila anymore. Just about you. I promise.” 

Helga's cheeks flushed at his statement as she raised her brow and squeezed his hand. “Really?” she asked and he nodded his head. 

“Really, really.” He replied and he nodded his head toward the bucket of apples just beside them. “Bet I can get more apples than you.” 

“Bet you you're way WRONG, football-head,” she challenged and soon they were bobbing for apples at Rhonda's party without a care in the world. 

As the Halloween décor faded into that of Thanksgiving, Helga prepared for her sister's return, knowing that her family disaster would be soon in the making and she wouldn't be able to get out of it this time. She knew that there wouldn't be any way to escape by running to Arnold's house this go around and she'd just have to stick it out with her family until after the Christmas season was over. But that didn't stop the Shortmans from trying to get her out of her family traditions by starting new ones with them. She just wished she could attend. 

“You know, Helga, if you wanted, you could certainly join us for the holiday season this year,” Stella offered one evening and the boarders nodded their heads in agreement. 

“Yeah! We do a Secret Santa every year, even though Oskar always tries to fill the pot with his name--” Ernie said and Oskar glared at him from across the table. 

“I do not!” He defended but Ernie merely rolled his eyes as Mr. Hyunh took over talking. 

“And Mai comes over and play holiday tunes for us. It great fun!” He said. 

“And this year,” Stella said grandly, “Gertie and I will be making a big turkey and ham for everyone. There will be plenty of food to go around. You could even invite your family if you wanted. Everyone is invited,” She pressed but Helga laughed at the idea and shook her head. 

“If it's one thing I'm NOT doing, it's inviting my family to the one place that feel like home to me,” she blurted out, and the boarders all shared a sad look, “besides, I doubt I'll get out of Christmas with them. I doubt I'll get out of Thanksgiving with them. I don't even know what we're gonna DO for anything being at the emporium and all.” 

“That's why you should invite them here, Helga,” Arnold offered again. “Olga isn't so bad. And we can handle your parents.” 

“I don't know if you can. We sort of... they sort of... have their own plans. And they're crazy.” She explained as the boarders and company all leaned in waiting for her to explain further. With a deep breath, Helga sighed and went on. “Dad made a key for the old house. He plans to infiltrate the place for Thanksgiving and hopefully Christmas to put on a show for Olga since she doesn't know we're living at the emporium.” 

“Are you kidding?” Miles asked with a concerned brow as Helga shook her head. “That sounds... insane.” 

“Well that's my family,” Helga said while picking up more of her food and eating it before swallowing and continuing. “Then they'll do what they usually do. Mom will burn the stuffing, Bob will set up all the trophies and everything to make it LOOK like we've been living there the whole time and Olga will swoop in to save the day like she USUALLY does and we'll have a Thanksgiving after all. Same with Christmas. It's always the same.” 

“Well can't you get out of one of them?” Arnold pressed while looking to his parents. “How about Christmas? I'd really, really like for you to be here at Christmas.” 

“Why?” She asked and Arnold reached up to rub at the back of his neck while he was put on the spot. 

“I uh... I just think it would be good for you to have one good holiday. And Christmas is the best of all. That's all.” He explained and Helga nodded her head, not buying it but pretending to. 

“Well I'll try, but no promises.” She said and that's exactly what she did. 

Thanksgiving was a bust, just as she had imagined. Her parents successfully shut down her suggestion of spending the holiday at the boarding house and instead followed through with their bogus idea of trying to make their old house look like they'd been living in it all along. They worked on it the entire night before Olga was to show up, and with a lot of elbow-grease, the place looked as though they had really been there the entire time. Helga was slightly impressed, but it didn't last long. 

The next day, things went exactly as they had every year before. Miriam burned the stuffing, Bob sat and pretended to watch TV (though he mostly slept as they didn't have cable at their not-so-house home) and Olga came by in her perfect mood to try and fix everything the way she usually did, so all things considered, it was a perfect Thanksgiving in her parents' eyes. 

Being as Christmas was so close to Thanksgiving, they left everything in the house and simply returned with the recliner and couch for Bob and Miriam's beds; Helga's sleeping bag still on the ground of the empire. 

But as Helga lay on her make-shift bed at night, she thought about Arnold's offer, about everyone's offer to join them at Christmas and how important it had seemed that she be there. Secret Santa. Holiday tunes. Enough food to stuff her face with until she burst at the seams. The whole thing sounded spectacular and she wanted to join in on the festivities more than anything. The only question was how? 

~~~

_Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, throw cares away..._

Christmas music filled the air of the old Pataki residence on the battery-powered boombox that Miriam had scrounged up from the emporium. She didn't know how they were getting any sort of electric to cook any food, but Helga knew her dad had connections so she didn't ask any questions as her mom cooked in the kitchen as Olga prepared cookies on the counter laughing along with their mother as they made food for the holiday.

Meanwhile, Helga stayed in her old room, void of a bed or anything else as no one would be visiting the old bedroom during this particular day. She sat on the floor, brainstorming of any way that she could get out of this day, get out of this horrible holiday at her house and find her way back to Arnold's house, even though she wasn't entirely sure what was in store for her there and why he wanted her there so badly. Or why Miles and Stella wanted her there so badly either. 

_“So... Christmas,” Miles said one day after Thanksgiving, Helga chuckling at his lack of subtly._

_“What, you're gonna pressure me to show up too? You and your son, man. What's so great about having Christmas here anyway? You haven't even been here in ages...” She said and Miles nodded his head, agreeing with her statement._

_“That's true, but, it's our first Christmas here and we'd love to share it with our family and as far as Stella and I are concerned, you've become part of that family.” He said, and Helga tried not to beam at his statement. It was all she'd ever wanted was to be part of a family, and now she was, officially._

_“Well thank you,” Helga thanked earnestly, her smile sincere as she looked at Miles. “I guess I just really appreciate all you guys have done for me in accepting me into your household.”_

_“You are one of the main reasons Arnold found us in the first place, you know,” Miles reminded her and she nodded her head, “And besides, maybe we just have a great present to give you or something.”_

_“A present?” She repeated and he grinned from where he sat as Stella entered the room._

_“Oh Miles, don't tell me you already told her about the present...” She said and Miles covered his mouth in mock shock as Stella sighed. “It was supposed to be a surprise...”_

_“Really,” Helga said, “You two didn't have to get me anything.”_

_“But we wanted to. And we'd really like for you to be here to accept it,” Stella said with a smile and Helga nodded her head._

_“I'll try, I really will. Because honestly? I'd much rather be here with you guys. And Arnold.” She added, knowing that he was the real reason she wanted to be anywhere._

So it was that gift. It had to be the reason why they wanted her there so badly. But what on earth could they have gotten her? It wasn't like she needed anything, and all the things she needed, they'd provided for her-- a home, a family, their son, they'd unknowingly given her everything that she could ever ask for and now they wanted to give her something more? They had to be the most wonderful people on the entire planet. 

And she had to get to the boarding house to find out what was in that gift. 

“But how? How, Helga, how?” She asked herself from where she sat on the floor, the scent of baking cookies wafting in the air. 

“I guess I could be blunt,” She thought aloud while laying down on the carpeted floor while resting her hands on her stomach. “I COULD just grab my coat and head for the door. But I'm sure Olga won't let me out the door let alone go to Arnold's house... especially on Christmas.” 

Helga tapped her fingers on her stomach rhythmically while chewing on her lip. “I could sneak out. That's always worked for me before...” She continued thinking aloud, the idea making her sit up straight from the floor in a burst of genius. “That's it! I could sneak out of the window, down the fire escape, and run to Arnold's place. It isn't like they'd miss me. Maybe Olga would, but all it would take is a mere mention of her life outside of Hillwood and she'll forget ALL about me...” The idea sounded appealing to her; sounded like it could work if she did it just right. 

So without hesitation, she pushed herself up to stand and made her way to the window and opened it up to reveal the cool air of winter that swarmed around her the moment the gust was revealed to her. Taking a step back from the wind, she took a breath, looked around herself, and then stepped outside the window to safely stand onto the fire escape; her escape almost halfway complete. 

Once she was outside, she pulled the window closed, and then, chilled without her jacket, pulled her arms around herself and began making her way down the ladder to hop onto the ground and make her way as quickly as possible through the winter storm towards the boarding house. 

The air gusted around her, its bitter cold piercing her skin like pinpricks of sharp needles constantly bugging her flesh. She pulled her arms closer to her, as if the mere action would somehow keep her warmer against the storm though she knew it wouldn't. Just a few more blocks, she kept telling herself, just a few more blocks and you'll be there. In the warmth. With Arnold's parents. With Arnold. She focused on his face, she focused on his features, his every wrinkle when he smiled and his soft eyes as they looked at her whenever she was near. She kept him close in her mind, no matter what she had to endure in that cold, and before she knew it, she was there at the boarding house doors, anxious to get inside and away from the chill of the air that surrounded her. 

Knock, knock, knock she rapped on the door, the sound of mumbled voices calling for someone to answer the door before Miles came to the door, a smile beaming on his face as he saw Helga standing on the stoop of the boarding house.

“Helga!” He exclaimed, his ugly Christmas vest blinding her eyes momentarily as she adjusted to the light from within; the warmth from inside the house spreading to slightly warm the nearly frozen girl. “I didn't think you'd make it!” 

“Well, here I-I am,” Helga chattered out and Miles noticed her lack of jacket and immediately grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her inside. 

“You must be freezing! Did you walk here?” He asked while closing the door behind them once she was inside and she nodded her head, still shivering from the cold she'd endured on her walk there. 

“Y-Yeah. It wa-was the only w-way I c-c-could get he-here without cau-causing suspicion.” She explained and he nodded his head while guiding her to the living room where a beautiful tree was lit up and the boarders were all sitting in various spots unopening gifts while laughing and smiling at each other-- a rare occasion for the boarders but they all must have had the Christmas spirit within them. 

“Look who's come by to join us, everyone!” Miles announced while presenting Helga, Arnold jumping up from the couch to run to her and wrap his arms around her. 

“Helga!” He said before pulling away from her. “I can't believe you made it!” 

Helga chuckled and nodded her head. “Yeah, me uh... me either, honestly.” She said, finally warming up from being outside. “What are you all doing?” She asked while looking around the room, eyeing each of the boarders as they opened their presents. 

“We're doing our Secret Santa, we always do it before dinner and then open actual presents after. Speaking of which...” Arnold said before reaching under the tree and grabbing a present wrapped in brightly festive paper. “This one's for you.” He said and Helga raised a brow. 

“But I didn't participate,” Helga said. “I didn't bring anything for anybody so how could I have a Secret Santa?” 

Arnold grinned. “Guess it'll just have to be a secret then, won't it?” 

Helga rolled her eyes before unwrapping it and seeing a slender box, before opening up the box to reveal a bright pink pen with a poof of fuzz at the top, making her chuckle. “Wow. This is... quite the pen,” She noted and Arnold nodded his head. 

“It isn't much, but, your Secret Santa thought you might use it.” He said with a wink and Helga slapped his arm and laughed. 

“You aren't fooling anyone, Arnoldo,” She said, “But thank you, really. You didn't have to get me anything.” 

“Well I wanted to. And as soon as I saw it, I thought of you.” the blonde boy said with a grin and Helga pulled him into her and kissed his cheek softly. 

“Thank you, Arnold. I love it. And trust me, it'll get it's use out.” She promised and he nodded his head. 

“I'm sure it will.” He agreed. “Now c'mon, most everyone is done with their gifts, so it's time for dinner. You ready for some great food? Mom and Grandma have been hard at work all day.” 

“Ready? I'm starved,” Helga said with a laugh and the two of them grabbed each other's hands and headed into the kitchen, ready to shove some well-cooked food into their gullets in celebration at the holiday and most importantly at spending the holidays together. 

~~~

“I just can't believe you cooked all that!” Helga exclaimed while flopping onto the couch completely stuffed full of food, Arnold sitting beside her equally full. 

“You did a great job, Mom, Grandma. This has to be the best Christmas yet.” Arnold said with a smile. 

“The best because we're all together,” Miles said while reaching out to ruffle his son's hair and Arnold nodded his head. 

“Finally,” he said. “I couldn't ask for a better Christmas gift.” 

Stella walked in to the room while wiping her hands on a towel and smiled. “Neither could we, but we got you something anyway. It's under the tree,” She said and Arnold crawled onto the floor to pick up the gift that was sitting on the tree skirt and set it on his lap. 

“What is it?” He asked and his parents laughed. 

“Well open it up, silly,” Stella encouraged and Arnold ripped the paper off to reveal a matching Christmas sweater and laughed while quickly slipping it over his head to wear with his parents. 

“I love it. And it's really warm!” He said surprised and his parents laughed as Arnold reached into the tree and pulled out a small box that he'd hidden there for this particular occasion. Walking up to Helga, he handed her the box and offered her a warm smile. 

“This one is definitely from me,” he announced and Helga raised a brow. 

“But you already got me something,” She said and Arnold shook his head with his smile still plastered on his face. 

“That was just as your Secret Santa. This is from me to you. And I think you're really going to like it.” He proudly told her and she reached for the box from his hands before tentatively opening it to reveal a white box that she lifted the top from only to drop her jaw at the contents inside. 

“Arnold,” she gasped while pulling out the locket; both hers and Arnold's faces staring up at her through the glass. 

“I thought since your locket might be scuffed from its use in the jungle, you might be needing a new one. An updated one.” He explained and Helga tried to fight back the tears that were welling in her eyes. 

“Arnold, it's... it's... I don't know what to say.” she managed and Arnold set a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. 

“Merry Christmas, Helga,” He said and she smiled over at him while holding the locket up to her chest. 

“Thank you, Arnold. You have no idea how much this means to me.” 

“I think I have an idea,” He replied with a sly smile and Helga blushed at his comment. 

Miles stood up then from the couch where he had been sitting with Stella and moved to wander towards the tree, soon spotting another gift under the tree, one that was hiding just beside where Arnold's had been and he pulled it out to look at the nametag and eyed Helga. “This ones for you, Helga. It says it's from Santa.” He said with a wiggle of his brow and Helga smirked. 

“Santa, huh? Really?” She said while eyeing Arnold's parents who were standing beside each other with their arms wrapped around one other. 

“Some traditions are worth keeping, don't you think?” Miles asked and Helga rolled her eyes before taking the present from Arnold. 

“I can't accept this, I really can't,” Helga said while offering the small gift back but they refused to take it and shook their heads. 

“You really can, and you will,” Miles said definitively. “Just open it, for us, okay?” He asked and with a sigh, Helga looked down at the gift and turned it over to begin unwrapping the paper. 

“Well, here goes nothing,” She said, before opening the gift to reveal a leather-bound journal that looked identical, only black, to the one Arnold had carried around in the depths of the jungle that had belonged to Miles all those years ago. On the front cover, it said 'Journal' and had a latch on the side that connected to a magnet around the front to keep it closed. Helga stared at the journal, her hand gliding over the smooth leather as she did so, her eyes wide. “A journal?” She asked before looking up at Miles and Stella, their faces proud and smiling down at her. 

“You said that you wanted to find the right journal before you started journaling, didn't you? Well, what better journal than this?” Miles asked and Helga held the journal close to her chest while smiling up at him. 

“Thank you,” She said softly, “Thank you so much,” she said. “And now I've got a journal and a pen to write with. Maybe I'll try this journaling thing after all.” Helga said with a laugh and the boarding house erupted in laughter, the sounds of the joy filling the house, a sound Helga had never heard before in an entire household since as far back as she remembered. 

Had leaving her house during Christmas been worth it? Had choosing to go to Arnold's place been worth it over staying at the Pataki household and living through another predictable Christmas like she'd lived through so many times before? 

It had. And Helga couldn't be happier as she held her new journal and pen in her hands. And for the first time in her life, she couldn't wait to begin writing down her actual thoughts down on paper. Maybe she'd look back on this day years in the future and laugh at the start of something new she'd never have expected. Maybe Miles was right and maybe journaling could help her savor her new life with Arnold even more than she already was. 

Because if that were the case and if this journal could be like a little time capsule for Helga to remember all these small moments of life that she wanted to remember one day far in the future when Arnold and her were married and happy with children, she'd want to have them written down. And with new pen and papers in hand, she knew that was exactly what she wanted and was going to do.


	8. Entry 1

_Dear Journal,_

_Is that even how you're supposed to start these things? I've never done anything like this before and my best knowledge of journaling comes from the Diary of Anne Frank which I read for fun a few years back. I guess I could introduce myself so that years later I could know where I started when I began this crazy journey of journaling, all thanks to Miles and Stella and their incessant trying to get me to do this._

_So I'm Helga-- Helga G. Pataki. I'm 11 years old and in the sixth grade. Not too shabby, I must say. I currently live at the beeper emporium with Bob and Miriam, my parents, and I absolutely hate it more than words can even describe. Which is probably the reason why I hang out at Arnold's place so much._

Arnold... I should talk about Arnold. After all, this thing IS private anyway, isn't it? Helga asked herself before chewing on her pen a bit and continuing to write down her thoughts. __

_Arnold is a special kid. Not only is he the kindest, most generous person I know, but he's sort of my boyfriend, even though we've never discussed titles or anything like that, as much as I wished we would. For so many years, that kid suffered through bullying after bullying on my part without even batting an eye and that takes a strong person to do that; to shake off someone's supposed hate for another without a good reason._

_But I had a good reason,_ Helga continued to jot down, _he knows that NOW but part of me still fears that he thinks I'm still that fireball of a person and that he'll never see the true me hiding behind the mask of lies I put on every morning just to get through school._

_Helga sighed, playing with the pen between her fingers before going on. The thing with Arnold is that he sees right through that ask. Somehow, he's always been able to. And maybe that's just blind optimism Eugene-style, but I truly think he can see the warm, sensitive side I hide in my core of cores waiting to be let out of the chains I'd bound them in for fear of getting hurt. Ever since preschool, I've known just how to act to get people to lay off of me, but at what cost? I felt horribly alone and guarded.. until meeting Arnold's parents and finally being with Arnold the way I'd always hoped we'd be. It was like he had become my savior and his parents my own personal saints. They'd saved me form myself, and maybe this journal was just their way of trying to show further--- the gift of words that they knew I had to let out somewhere as I had such problems telling others about my home life._

_I mean, c'mon! Who wanted to be brought down by my sad life_ ANYWAY Helga asked herself, thinking about this harder before turning the page and beginning again on the next page of fresh stationary. __

_I guess I think that this journal is supposed to be my way of coping with life, and talking about all the exciting things that happen in my day to day experiences with not only Arnold and his family, but other stuff too, so one day I can look back at it and laugh or cry, or do any of the other stupid stuff adults do when they go to reminisce about the good ole' days. Back when it was so simple, even if it doesn't feel simple now. In fact, it feels pretty dang HARD right now. Avoiding my parents.... using Arnold's parents as my own instead... spending every waking moment wondering what adventures are in store for Arnold and I today rather than what homework I have to get done or assignments that have to be turned in. Everything seems so minuscule compared to the things I'll have to worry about when I get older, the things that Miriam and Bob seem to fight about on a daily basis._

_Where will my money come from? Will I have enough to pay my bills? Will I be able to keep a steady job?_ The questions of her future adult self roamed in her head as she questioned her journal about all the things that could go wrong if she didn't have the right support system, but she knew... she knew that she didn't have to go through it all alone as long as she had Arnold. And he seemed like he was in it for the long-haul. __

_Oh Arnold,_ she wrote, _How I adore you and your emerald eyes as they stare back at me in the light of the moon and stars. How I admire you for all you've done for me, by accepting me into your home when there are plenty others just dying to meet your parents and spend the quality time you've so kindly given up for me... And while I know you might not be ready to say those three words aloud, I know you feel some sort of connection too between us ad that is the most important thing of all._

_Emotions can grow. Feelings can develop. And as long as I'm here, I'll never stop trying to win you over, football-head. I'll never give up on you or us for as long as I live. Now, after everything we've been through, I know your feelings and after the sharing of our sweetest first genuine kiss, I can't wait until our very next one, whenever it shall be._

_But until then, football-head, I bid you adieu as Bob is hollering for me to order chinese take-out again. Third time this week. Wish I could stop by at your place again for dinner, but I'm sort of in trouble for skipping out on Christmas._

_But don't worry-- it was all worth it._

_Sincerely,  
Helga G. Pataki. _

_~~~_

_Heyyo,_

_So guess who's still 'grounded?' That's right, this girl. My parents really have it in for me this time around. They don't want me going to Arnold's place anymore, at least for the time being, but that isn't stopping me, oh no. I've snuck out on the few occasion just to make it to the boarding house at LEAST for family dinner night-- that's one thing I'm NOT willing to miss._

_Speaking of things I'm not willing to miss, there's Arnold. It's hard not seeing him almost every day after school, but, and I never thought I'd say this, thank GOD for school. If it wasn't for that horrible place, I'd never get to see the kid and that's one place that my stupid parents CAN'T ground me from, thankfully. I mean, I guess they COULD, but they wouldn't dare. It's the only time they can get rid of me for a little while and I think they're getting sick of me being around 24/7. So needless to say, I doubt this grounding thing will last all that much longer._

_Olga called today, and by called, I mean called on Dad's new CELLPHONE. That's right-- dad broke down and bought himself a CELLPHONE, believe it or not. I think he's starting to realize that there isn't getting around it much longer. Maybe he'll finally change his mind about the stupid beeper business after all. Not thanks to me, of course, Oh no. It was all thanks to Olga and her precious idea like she was the first one to have it and all. “Oh daddy,” she said, “why not try and get into the cellphone business? I'm sure the emporium would sell out within the day!”_

_Criminy, it's like the girl is out to get me without even knowing it._

_In other news, Miles and Stella are finally adjusting to the cellphone life. I think they've pretty much gotten the hang of their new phones and the future technology of everything that they've missed, even if it doesn't make much sense to them. I feel kinda bad for them, behind so out of the loop and all. I can't imagine being asleep for ten years only to wake up and find that the entire world had changed around me, including my own son who had grown up without me there. They have so much catching up to do._

_But Arnold seems up to the task. He doesn't seem to care that they've missed so much, and I'm just happy for him that he finally has his parents back. They do everything together now as if they could re-disappear at any minute again. I guess that's how you should live your life though; like anything can happen at any time. There's a lot to learn from a situation like that. I just wished that my parents would disappear so I could find some reason to appreciate them or something._

_Maybe that's bad to say. Maybe I should appreciate them while they're still here, but I just can't. They could care less about me and while I know that SOMEWHERE inside them, they care about me as they've shown it on a few occasions, they certainly don't know how to show it unless they're talking about Olga. I miss the feeling of having parents who care, especially my mom like when she'd taken over the beeper empire. For at least those few weeks, she was the perfect mom-- a mom that I could talk to and spend time with like I'd always wanted to. But these days she was just the same old Miriam-- addicted to her 'smoothies' and sleeping on the couch while Bob obsessed over his beepers as if somebody would come in and buy the rest of his supply any day now._

_They were exhausting parents, and I can hardly handle it anymore._

_At least when I'm around Miles and Stella, I know that they're always listening and care about what it is that I have to say. They're the complete opposite of my parents and the more I spend time with them, the more I realize that. I hate for the day that they actually meet... how embarrassing THAT will be. And it's only a matter of time. Parent teacher conferences are coming up soon and I'm sure they'll bump into each other there with my luck and then Miles and Stella will see just where it is that I come from and maybe they'll not want me around their son anymore. Maybe it'll change their minds about the kind of person I am and maybe I'll be exiled from their home which would effectively break my heart._

_No, Helga. They wouldn't do that to you. They LIKE you. If they didn't like you, they wouldn't invite you over all the time and spend time with you the way they do, even Arnold said so himself. What are you so worried about?_

_Oh, that's right, you're worried about losing the closest thing to a family you've ever had. Doi._

_Utterly Worried,  
Helga G. Pataki _

_~~~_

_At long last!_

_I'm not grounded anymore! Well, not officially at least. See, with my parents, they don't ever TELL me “you're no longer grounded,” they sort of just stop trying to outlaw me from leaving the house. It's like they forget that they grounded me in the first place and just let me be to do my thing, which is fine by me. So first thing I did when I got home was changed my clothes and headed over to the boarding house under the guise that I had a project to work on with Arnold and left without a fight._

_As soon as I got there, I was welcomed with open arms and praise that I had finally been let free of my sentencing. “You're a free woman now, huh Helga?” Miles asked me and I nodded my head._

_“Free as a bird,” I responded, a smile on my face as Arnold came down the stairs to greet me._

_“Helga! I didn't think you'd be over tonight!” He exclaimed and I shrugged my shoulders._

_“Guess I'm not a ward of the empire anymore so here I am. Hope that's not a problem.” I stated and Arnold shook his head._

_“Of course not. I'm glad to see you over here again besides on family night. I've missed you.”_

_This, of course, made me blush brighter than a hot-pink valentine and I offered him a smile. “I missed you too, football-head.”_

_“Aww, look at our babies,” Stella cooed and it was Arnold's turn to blush._

_“Mom...” he scolded and she held her hands up in surrender._

_“Sorry, honey. I'm just so happy to see you two together again in the house. It's been so quiet without Helga around.” She said and I shrugged my shoulders._

_“Glad to be of service,” I said and Miles let out a laugh._

_“I guess you'll have to call Gerald now and let him know Helga's over, won't you, son?” Miles said and my eyes widened._

_Gerald? I thought. I didn't realize that he had other plans. Of course, I HAD surprised him, but I hadn't thought that he had made other plans. Of COURSE he had made other plans. Arnold wasn't a hermit like I had become. I wasn't the only person in his life._

_“Gerald can still come over. It'll be fun, won't it, Helga?” Arnold asked me and I found myself caught in a position I wasn't particularly comfortable with. Gerald? My arch-nemesis? Okay, maybe that was being a bit dramatic, he wasn't like my evil counterpart or anything, but Gerald and I had never been known to get along, and Arnold knew this. So why was he suddenly trying to get us to hang out with each other? Was this some kind of ulterior motive of his? Trying to get us to be FRIENDS or something?_

_Anyway, we waited in Arnold's room for a while, joking and talking like we usually did until Gerald finally showed up and the tension in the room was immediate the moment he walked in._

_“Hey Gerald,” Arnold greeted as Gerald stood dumbfounded in the doorway._

_“Hey...Arnold...Helga...” he said slowly before pointing at me and then saying. “What's SHE doing here?”_

_I crossed my arms and frowned. “What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm allowed over here you know.” I said and Gerald nodded his head._

_“Right, but tonight was supposed to just be me and Arnold. Not you.” He said fiercely and Arnold held his hands up to stop him._

_“Helga showed up to surprise me today and I thought the three of us could just hangout tonight. Is that okay?”_

_Gerald paused for a moment, thinking this through but ultimately deciding not to fight with Arnold. “Uh... sure. Why not.” He finally said before moving to take a seat on the couch while Arnold and I sat on his bed. “So what are we supposed to do?”_

_“We could go see a movie,” Arnold suggested and Gerald rolled his eyes._

_“Right, because I wanna be the third wheel in THIS situation,” he said sarcastically and Arnold frowned._

_“Gerald...” He said and Gerald frowned back at him._

_“What, man? That's what it would be like. That's what this whole DEAL is gonna be like.”_

_“So here's an idea,” I chimed in, “what about you invite Phoebe? I know for a fact that tonight is the night she finishes her homework early.”_

_“And how do you know THAT?” Gerald asked._

_“Uh... because I'm her BEST FRIEND, remember?” I reminded him and he nodded his head before gesturing to the phone._

_“Fine, then give her a call.”_

_“Oh no,” I said with a sly smile, “YOU call her. I'm sure she'll say yes to you. And besides, what kind of double date would this be if I asked her out, huh?”_

_Gerald sighed, knowing I was right and picked up the phone beside him to dial her number into the phone and waited as it rang. “Hello?” He asked, a pause on her end of the line as she responded. “Well I was wondering if you wanted to go to a movie tonight.” Pause. “Yeah with uh... with Arnold and Helga.” Pause. “Like a double date or whatever.” Pause. “You will?” Pause. “Great! We uh.. how about you meet us there in like fifteen?” Pause. “Cool, we'll see you there.”_

_And that was the set up to my first official double date with my best friend and her tall haired weirdo. We went to see Evil Twin 4: Curse of the Triplet, something that Phoebe wasn't TOO keen on seeing, but went along with anyway and the movie was alright, but I was mostly just happy to hold Arnold's hand the whole time and share popcorn with him. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be what with Gerald being there the entire time. And I was thankful for Phoebe being there because it made the whole thing less awkward. Gerald and I hadn't been around Arnold alone since our trip to the jungle and while Gerald had cut me some slack since then, it wasn't like we were friends or anything. And I was still a little mad at him for telling Phoebe about Arnold and mine's kiss before I could._

_But I am trying to let bygones be bygones and all. Maybe Gerald had his reasons and I just don't know what they are. Either way, it was a fun night and the whole thing ended with a wonderful kiss between Arnold and I, something I didn't think would ever happen again as much as I wished it would. His lips were just as sweet as the last time we'd kissed and even though it had to happen on the steps of the beeper emporium, the world seemed to melt away the moment our lips touched and the world was at peace._

_Criminy, I sure love that weird-headed kid._

_Completely Lovestruck,  
Helga G. Pataki_

_~~~_

__Helga sat down in her lair in the basement of the emporium and pulled out the journal that Miles and Stella had given her, tears streaming down her face. Shakily, she picked up the pen Arnold had given her and touched the pen to the fresh sheet of paper and began writing as fast as she could, not even bothering to address the paper this time around. __

_Arnold, oh sweet, dear Arnold. How could I have blown up at you? How could I have let my family get to you and your kind nature when it is I who should have to deal with the burden of them and their hostility? You certainly don't deserve having to deal with the aftermath of their harsh words, and yet, I've allowed my feelings to get the better of me and taken it all out on you. Can you ever forgive me? Can you ever understand that it isn't me who spoke those horrible words to you and it was instead the hurt side of me who unleashed my anger upon you in a most unforgiving way?_

__Helga shook her head while sighing and wiping away some of the tears that strayed from her eyes to slide down her cheeks. __

_Let me explain._

_Today I went to Arnold's house again, but this time it was because I'd gotten into another fight with Bob. He'd blamed me for denting one of Olga's trophies while moving a box that I'd dropped because the dang thing was heavier than an ox. Anyway, he yelled and hollered at me and read me the riot act calling me a 'disgrace to the Pataki name' for ruining a prized possession. So he kicked me out of the house and told me to run off to that orphan boy's house, even though I have told him on MANY occasions not to call Arnold that anymore, but he doesn't listen to me._

_Anyway, I walked to Arnold's place, angry as sin, and climbed the fire escape to knock on Arnold's window. He opened it for me of course, and listened to me complain about my family like he does on almost all occasions and offered me advice, but I wasn't in the mood for advice, so I snapped at him, even though I didn't really want to._

_“I don't need your ADVICE, Arnold, I just need to blow off some steam,” I said and Arnold nodded his head._

_“Alright, well then blow off some steam. I'm here to listen.”_

_“But ARE you? Aren't you sick and tired of hearing me complain about my stupid family when you've got a perfect one downstairs?” I asked and Arnold shrugged his shoulders._

_“Everyone's family is different. And I don't mind hearing you talk about yours. Really.” He said with a small smile, but I was ANGRY and I didn't care how understanding he was being. I needed to let loose in the only way that I knew how and APPARENTLY that is by making Arnold miserable._

_“Look, Hair Boy, you don't GET it. Your family is PERFECT. You don't have HALF the problems that I have. Your mom is understanding and caring. Your dad is hilarious and awesome. Your grandparents care about you more than themselves. And I'M stuck with a blowhard dad, a juiced-out mother and a sister who walks on clouds. We're DIFFERENT. Maybe TOO different.” Arnold raised a brow at me and crossed his arms._

_“Helga, what are you saying?” He asked and I frowned._

_“I'm saying there's no way you could POSSIBLY understand what I'm going through, no matter WHAT I tell you. Unless you live with them for a DAY, there's no WAY you could understand them.”_

_“Then LET me understand them, Helga. Why don't you invite them over here once? Just this once.” He said and I laughed while shaking my head._

_“Are you insane, football-head? If I invite them over here, your parents will FINALLY know just where I come from and they won't want me around you. They'll see how messed up my life is and want better for you.” I explained, but Arnold took this offensively and frowned._

_“My parents aren't like that, Helga. You aren't your parents and frankly, I'm a little offended that you'd think they'd do that.” He said and I rolled my eyes._

_“I'm just scared they won't let you see me anymore,” I said quietly and Arnold shook his head._

_“They wouldn't do that, especially when they know how much you mean to me. You know how much you mean to me, don't you?” He asked and I smacked my lips while shaking my head._

_“Not uh.. not exactly.”_

_“Then you have a lot to learn, Helga.”_

_Do I? Do I have a lot to learn when it comes to our newfound relationship, Arnold? Is there something I'm not understanding when it comes to how you feel about me? Am I really just scared of losing the one thing I've waited for my entire life? You, Arnold, are all I care about. You're the one thing that gets me through the day, through my miserable life, and without you, I don't know what I'd do. How could I be so foolish? How could I be so insecure about us that I would question your own parents' integrity?_

_Cripes, there's so much wrong with me and I don't even know where to begin to fix it._

_What am I supposed to do?_

_Lost and Confused,  
Helga G. Pataki. _

_~~~_

_Good Morrow, fine Journal,_

_Tomorrow is the parent teacher conference and needless to say I'm a little afraid at what it will bring. I know that tomorrow is the day that my parents and Arnold's will officially MEET meet (outside of when they kind of met in the jungle) and I just really hope Miles and Stella won't see me any different at whatever impression my parents will make on them._

_I guess only time will tell, but I'm just really praying that Miriam will hold off on the smoothies beforehand so she won't be TOO embarrassing. As for Bob, well, there's no TELLING what will come out of HIS mouth. Keep in mind, he keeps referring to Arnold as the freakin' orphan boy. Then again, maybe by meeting his parents, he'll finally stop calling him that and all will be right with the world._

_Yeah. Right._

_I don't know. The whole thing has had me on edge all day today. Even the announcement of the conference made me jump in my seat and poor Phoebe looked over at me with sympathetic eyes knowing just what I was thinking. Ever since I can remember I've had horrible experiences with parent teacher conferences. Usually my parents don't even show up, but on the rare occasion that they do, they embarrass the living snot out of me. But this time around, I KNOW they're showing up because apparently they have something to discuss with my teacher. Something about my grades, even though I bring home straight A's. I wonder if they're just curious how I'm doing so well. Gee mom and dad, maybe it's because I'm JUST AS SMART if not SMARTER than your perfect Olga? There's a thought._

_Either way, the whole thing has me a little nervous._

_“Don't be nervous, Helga. I'm sure it'll be just fine,” Arnold told me today when I went to his house after school and I shrugged my shoulders._

_“I just don't know what it is that they could want to talk to the teacher about. They NEVER want to talk to my teacher.” I said and he sighed._

_“Maybe they're proud of you?” But I laughed and rolled my eyes._

_“Yeah, and maybe I'm an alien from another planet with antennas and an uncanny ability to read minds. Arnold, are you crazy?” I asked and Arnold frowned._

_“I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think it's going to be.”_

_But I'm POSITIVE there's some kind of ulterior motive going on that I'm just not seeing. My parents are kinda dumb, but they aren't THAT dumb. Maybe Bob is gonna try and push his beepers on my poor pathetic sap of a teacher. Maybe that's it. Or maybe Miriam is going to try and be a good parent after all. I guess I don't really know WHAT'S in store for tomorrow, but all I DO know is I hope they make a good impression on Miles and Stella. I just want them to see that I'm worthy of being with their son, even if my parents are big screw-ups themselves. I'm not a big screw-up like them. I'm responsible. I'm caring. I'm everything that they aren't and I hope they see that. I THINK they see that._

_Maybe I'm overthinking everything. I tend to do that._

_Oh well. Here's to tomorrow!_

_Worried,  
Helga G. Pataki. _


	9. Entry 2

Helga dropped her bookbag on the floor of her lair and sighed while pulling her journal out and speedily grabbing the nearby pink pen and flipping the book open to the nearest blank page. 

_Hidey ho, Journal._

_You'd never believe the day I just had._

_As you know, parent teacher conferences were today and let me tell you, they were something to talk about. First of all, not only did we leave the house late, but the car didn't start so we were even later than usual. Now you might think that this was a good thing because you'd think hey, maybe we wouldn't run into Arnold's parents, but you would be wrong, dear journal. You would be very wrong._

_Not only did we run into Arnold's parents once, but we ran into them TWICE. But I'll get into that later._

_First, I wanna talk about the actual conference itself because it was a DOOZY. So we sit down, right? In the desks that Bob could hardly fit into and Miriam missed completely falling on the floor at first only to stand up and stumble into it before the conference began. Once everyone was seated and my teacher was giving my parents a very uncomfortable look, he pulled out a few of my papers and straightened them on the table before beginning._

_“So first, I'd like to talk to you a little about Helga this year and how well she's been doing. Just a little check-up on her progress here in the sixth grade.” the teacher said and my parents exchanged a look before returning their gaze back to the front of class where my teacher was sitting._

_“Yeah?” Bob said, “How bad's she doing?” He said optimistically (insert heavy sarcasm here) and my teacher's eyes widened at his comment._

_“Actually, Helga is one of my best students.”_

_This caught my parents by surprise. “She is?” Bob asked and my teacher nodded his head._

_“You haven't noticed by her report cards?”_

_Of course, my parents NEVER notice my report cards as they usually just throw them out for lack of care but they shrugged their shoulders and took some of the papers that my teacher handed them and glanced through the A's that stared back at them from each of my assignments._

_“Wow, kid, you're almost as smart as Olga,” he said and the teacher nodded his head._

_“Your daughter actually tested outside Olga Pataki, your other daughter, back in the fourth grade on her aptitude test.” He said and this shocked my parents who's eyes went completely wide with stupor._

_“She...she did?” Miriam stuttered out and my teacher nodded._

_“She didn't tell you?” My teacher asked in surprise before clearing his throat and continuing. “Helga has a perfect 4.0 GPA. She's at the top of her class with another classmate who I'm not at liberty to discuss at this particular meeting,” Though we all knew he was talking about my best friend Phoebe Heyerdahl._

_“Geez kid, who knew you had the Pataki smarts too,” Bob commented and the teacher glanced between my parents in almost disappointment at the way they were treating their kid._

_“I'd also like to discuss perhaps Helga skipping this grade for seventh. She seems to not be challenged anymore by this grade.” My teacher said which was a surprise to me and I shook my head, though Bob spoke up._

_“Is that gonna cost us anything?” He asked and I rolled my eyes as the teacher laughed quietly to himself._

_“No, it wouldn't. I just strongly advise that Helga be challenged by her academics, and I don't believe she is in this classroom.”_

_“Well I'm not interested,” I said flatly. “I'd much rather stay right where I am.” I stated and my parents nodded their heads._

_“Clearly if she's doing well here, she should just stay put,” Bob said and the teacher sighed._

_“It is just a suggestion, but one that I believe you should all discuss as just an option. Another thing I'd like to discuss is Helga's superior writing and an opportunity that I think would really benefit her.” He said and my parents raised their brows._

_“Her writing?” Miriam asked._

_“Helga writes?” Bob questioned and my teacher nodded his head._

_“Very well. In fact, in all my experience as a teacher, I've never come across such a great writer at Helga's age.” He opened a drawer at his desk and pulled out a flier which he handed to my parents. “There is a young writer's conference coming up that I'd really like Helga to attend. I think it would help her grow as a writer and offer some pointers to help her increase her abilities even more.”_

_“And will THIS cost us anything?” Bob demanded and the teacher shook his head._

_“The whole thing will be covered by the school as it is a school-led activity and only one person is chosen from each class to go. It's a coveted honor and I'd really like your permission for Helga to come.”_

_Surprisingly enough, my parents signed off on it and now I'm registered to go to some big conference for writers all across the state to come together and talk about writing and all that jazz! I'm actually really excited about it, believe it or not. Who knew my writing would actually take me somewhere?_

_Now back to my parents meeting Arnold's parents. Boy, was THAT awkward. First, we ran into them at the hallway and thankfully they didn't recognize them, though they recognized Arnold. “Hey, isn't that the kid you keep seeing? Your boyfriend?” Bob had asked me and I rolled my eyes trying to blow him off completely. Then the meeting came and went and we exited the classroom only to run into them AGAIN just outside the hallway where they were waiting for their meeting._

_“A-Arnold,” I said and he smiled at me._

_“Hey Helga. How'd it go?” He asked and I shrugged my shoulders as Bob and Miriam began on their bragging kick._

_“Helga got accepted into some prestigious honor of going to some writer's conference deal.” Bob said with a cross of his arms and Stella and Miles smiled._

_“Good for you, Helga!” Miles said. “I knew all that writing would pay off. How's the journaling going?” He asked and I grinned._

_“Pretty good actually. That journal is coming in handy believe it or not. Hate to say it, but I think you were right.” I admitted and he smiled._

_“Good, glad to say 'I told you so,'” he said and Stella and Miles adjusted their gaze to that of my parents who were eyeing them curiously._

_“These are your parents?” Stella asked and I nodded my head reluctantly while taking a deep breath._

_“Bob, Miriam, these are Arnold's parents, Miles and Stella.” I introduced and Bob held out a hand to firmly shake theirs, reintroducing himself as he did so._

_“Bob, Bob's Beeper Emporium. You want a deal, we'll give you a steal. You looking to get a beeper?” He plugged and I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous advertisement._

_“No, actually, we just invested in cellphones ourselves,” Miles said with a wink in my direction. “New wave of the future, don't you think?”_

_Bob frowned, snatching his hand away. “Cellphones are overrated. Just you watch, beepers will make their comeback.”_

_“But aren't they only used to let someone know they need to make a phone call?” Stella asked, having had me to explain what they were just weeks ago. “Seems more convenient to have a cellphone just to call right away.”_

_Bob glowered at Arnold's parents. “Haven't you two been gone for 10 years? How do YOU know what's in and what's out ANYway?” he demanded and the two shared a look before returning their gaze back in Bob's direction._

_“We've had a good teacher,” Miles said with a smile and Miriam set a hand on my shoulder._

_“We-we should really be going, B,” she said while pushing me in the direction of the exit as Bob remained in place._

_“And who's that? My daughter I take it? She's been spending enough time over there at your house,” Bob noted and I felt blush rise to my cheeks at his words._

_“Well she's very welcome at our house,” Stella said warmly, “We enjoy having her.”_

_“As long as she isn't causing you too much trouble. She can be a handful.” He said and I rolled my eyes._

_“Like you would know dad,” I muttered and he glared at me._

_“Hey, hey, hey, no backtalk little lady, the adults are having a conversation, here.” He said and I shut my mouth immediately while looking to Arnold for help at avoiding whatever would happen next._

_Arnold cleared his throat while tugging slightly at his dad's shirt. “Let's uh, let's head inside. I'm sure my teacher is expecting us.” he said and his parents nodded their heads while smiling in the direction of my parents._

_“Nice to meet you, Bob, Miriam,” Miles said while Stella nodded her head in agreement._

_“And know that Helga isn't a handful. She's always welcome at our house,” Stella added before they disappeared into the classroom leaving us alone in the hallway._

_Of course the ride home was awkward as Bob complained the entire time about the cellphone-world taking over the beeper-universe and how everyone was going corrupt-- even people who have been out of the picture for over ten years. Then he began attacking me for introducing them to the whole deal to which I only countered that if he were smart, he'd get into the business himself and get our house back before we were stuck in the emporium forever._

_Needless to say, he didn't like that comment very much._

_Oh well. As if I care what BOB thinks. Overall, the night didn't go as horrible as I thought it would go and the takeaway was definitely the fact that I'll be going to the young writer's conference in the next couple of weeks. Who knows what will be in store for me there?_

_Excited and Embarrassed,  
Helga G. Pataki _

_~~~_

_Hello Again!_

_Bored of me yet? I'm finding this journal thing to be kind of cool the more that I do it. It's nice to have a place to write down all my thoughts even if they're just stupid or about my day. Maybe Miles was right, even if I don't have much to say today._

_School was boring. Life was boring. I didn't go to the boarding house today because Arnold was sick from school._

_Nothing much to report._

_Restless,  
Helga G. Pataki. _

_~~~_

_Criminy,_

_I just got back from Arnold's house and he was BEYOND excited for me to go to this writer's conference coming up._

_“I can't believe you were picked out of our entire class!” Arnold beamed as we sat on his bed and I shrugged my shoulders._

_“It isn't THAT big of a deal,” I said nonchalantly, but Arnold disagreed and shook his head._

_“Helga, it's a big deal. It just proves how good you actually are. Aren't you excited?” He asked and I nodded my head while closing my notebook that was sitting on my lap._

_“Honestly, I'm really excited, yeah.” I admitted and Arnold smiled._

_“My parents are pretty excited for you too. Especially my dad. He can't stop talking about it. He's so proud of you.”_

_I rolled my eyes. “What a goon,” I said before chewing my lip and finally bringing up the topic I had been afraid of bringing up in the first place. “Speaking of your parents...” I said slowly, “did they say anything about meeting mine?”_

_Arnold grew quiet then, quickly staring down at his lap and shrugging his shoulders. “Not much,” he obviously lied and I frowned._

_“You don't have to lie to me, Arnoldo. If it's anyone who hates my parents it's me. I can take it. What did they say?” I pressed and Arnold took a deep breath before letting it out and finally speaking._

_“They were shocked, I guess,” Arnold stated, his mind focused on how to phrase it so he didn't hurt my feelings._

_“Go on...” I pressed though he clearly didn't want to._

_“I guess if I were you, I'd ask them yourself. They didn't really say that much to me.” He admitted and I frowned while getting up from the bed._

_“Fine then. Maybe I will.” I said and Arnold reached out to stop me._

_“I didn't mean do it now,” he tried but I was already at the door and heading downstairs to find Stella and Miles on the couch in the living room watching TV._

_“Hey Helga,” Miles greeted me with a smile. “How's it going?” He asked though I was frowning and Stella leaned over to look at me._

_“Is something wrong, dear?” She asked and I crossed my arms._

_“My parents. You've met them now. What did you think. Honestly. And don't go giving me any of that sugar coated mumbo jumbo. I can handle it.” I demanded and they exchanged a look before turning to look back at me and sighing._

_Miles decided to take this one as Stella seemed to not want to offend me. “Your parents are... just as you described it seems,” he said slowly. “And your father is--”_

_“Something else?” I finished for him and he nodded his head._

_“I'm sorry for the way he treated you. He talked down to you and that's no okay. At least not in my book.” He said and I shrugged my shoulders._

_“It's nothing new. It's like that every day.” I said and he patted the spot next to him on the couch for me to sit down, and I did so._

_“Helga,” he said as I sat down, “Your parents care about you, even if they don't show it.”_

_“Well they really don't,” I replied and Stella and Miles both nodded their heads._

_“We think that it best that maybe you spend some more time with them and try to stop avoiding them so much.” Stella said, the words seeming to come out harder than she expected and I raised my brow in curiosity._

_“Are you saying you don't want me to come over anymore?” I asked and they both shook their heads adamantly at my suggestion._

_“That's not what we're saying at all, we love having you here,” Stella said, “But after what your father said, it seems to bother him that you're here so much--”_

_I cut her off quickly to give her the REAL reason why it bothered him. “It BUGS him because I'm not there to do free labor for him. He doesn't have a single worker in the store anymore because he can't afford it so he just has me do all the work for free. Don't you get it? I'm not avoiding some kind of family activity where we bond and do family stuff, I'm avoiding doing free labor and getting yelled at for not doing it just perfectly.” I explained and they shared a look before nodding their heads._

_“Alright,” Miles said. “Well I can understand that. You're always welcome here and we're sorry you have to put up with parents who act like that but your mother, she seems to care about your well being.”_

_I nodded my head looking down at my lap. “My mom is... different than my dad. She COULD be a good mom. If she really wanted to, I guess.”_

_“What's stopping her?” Stella asked and I shrugged my shoulders._

_“Her smoothies.” I replied and they raised their brows._

_“Smoothies?”_

_“I think she needs a friend or something. She's cooped up in that place all day with Bob just weighing her down all the time. You know, there was once a time where she used to pack me lunches and pay attention to me and actually care about my school work and all that jazz? It didn't last long, but for like a few weeks, I had a MOM. She's in there... somewhere.” I said softly and Stella stood up from the couch, determined._

_“Then I think your mom needs to get out of the emporium and meet someone. And I know just the woman for the job,” she stated and I raised my brow._

_“Are you serious? YOU think you're the answer to all of Miriam's problems?” I asked and Stella nodded her head._

_“I think that a good friend can help anyone get out of their shell. Just let me try. If your mom really is in there, she'll come out. Especially if she has a confidant.” Stella explained and I shrugged my shoulders._

_“What have I got to lose?”_

_And really, what DO I have to lose?_

_Stella said she's planning on going over to the beeper emporium tomorrow to take Miriam out for lunch and a 'girl's day.' We'll see how that goes. Who knows? Maybe this will all work out and Miriam won't have to rely on smoothies to get through her day anymore. That's the goal at least. I'll let you know how it works out tomorrow when I get home from school._

_Until then,  
Helga G. Pataki_

_~~~_

_Welp,_

_Mom hasn't had a smoothie ALL DAY TODAY. Can you believe it? She's been completely with it ALL FREAKIN' DAY. No naps, no ignoring what's going on, and she even stood up to dad while he yelled at me for screwing up his display when I dropped a beeper and 'broke the merchandise' that he isn't even selling. Although we did have one customer. Some hipster who thought beepers were 'all the rage' and 'totally gonna make a comeback.' Poor fool._

_Anyway, I guess Miriam went out with Stella, much to Bob's dismay, and had a blast. They went shopping and out to lunch and then had a pedicure or something and totally bonded. I guess they're going out again in a couple of days or something. She even told me that I'm allowed to go over to the boarding house any time I want! Score for Stella!_

_I had to thank Stella for all that she did, even if it's just a baby step in the plan of getting my real mom out in the open. I hope things are changing. It'd be really nice for Miriam to quit the smoothie habit and become the mom I know is in there. Heck, it'd just be nice for her to become A mom and start caring just enough to pack me a lunch every once in a while, though Stella mostly has that covered as she usually packs Arnold two lunches-- one for him and one for me just in case I don't have anything to eat._

_I'm telling you, the Shortmans are a blessing. Who knew that there are people out there like them who actually care and are willing to give you the shirt off their backs just so that you're okay? They care so much and for ME of all people. I hardly feel worthy of it all. Maybe it's just because I don't feel worthy of much of anything, but it's nice to feel it, even if it isn't from my own parents. I know I say it a lot, but Arnold is one lucky kid to have parents like them. This year at the Parent's Day competition, my parents better lookout because we have some serious competition. The Shortmans will kick some serious behind if you know what I'm talking about. They've been all over the world and defeated plenty of villians so our little relay races will be a piece of cake for them. I can already smell a winner._

_In other news, Arnold and I are doing great. We don't fight much anymore and I hardly pick on him, besides his nicknames which are mostly in the loving sense now. I think he's grown attached to them since I've called him football-head ever since I can remember. They're all just terms of endearment. And since I know you're wondering, we haven't kissed in a while. Those moments are saved for special times which we haven't had in a while. We mostly spend our days in his room talking about this and that, sharing life experiences and wisdom and thoughts we have along with a secret or two. I feel like we're really getting to know each other for the first time. Sure, I knew his school schedule, his address, his phone number, the ins and outs of his life, but I never really KNEW him up until recently. It's a journey that I'm loving every second of, learning about Arnold. I just hope he's loving the journey as much as I am._

_But we ARE only 11 and 12 years old, Arnold being just a few months ahead of me, that little twerp. There's still plenty to learn about each other as we grow. And speaking of growing, Arnold's getting to be pretty tall now, even though I've still got him beat by quite a few inches-- still forever a true Shortman._

_We're planning on going on a one-on-one date this weekend, and Arnold apparently has something up his sleeve because he won't tell me what it is we're doing. I'm a little nervous because I like to be in control of everything around me, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's a good thing to not be in control all the time. Either way, I'm excited because if I'm lucky, I'll get a kiss out of it and that's what's keeping me going throughout this whole week. It's funny, kissing. Once you get a good smooch that goes both ways, you kind of start to crave it and hope it happens more often than not. I'm not expecting a full make-out session or anything, but a kiss every now and again makes my heart melt because it lets me know that Arnold is still interested in me in that way and that our relationship is evolving the way it should be._

_And I hope it is, because the more time I spend with Arnold, the more I end up telling him and the more we end up sharing about ourselves and our lives. It's weird, relationships, and how you end up feeling so comfortable with another person that you feel you can just tell them anything. All my life I've wanted that with Arnold and now I finally have that. Who would have thought my dreams would actually come true?_

_I haven't written poems in a while. I've been so happy that I've just been focusing on this silly journal and writing down my every thought and everything that's been happening. It's kind of addicting, really. Sometimes I even go back and re-read all that I've written just so that I won't forget the craziness of the week. Especially the part about the young writer's conference. My teacher says I should bring with me some of my best work, but that's hard when ALL of your work is your best work. I'm still trying to decide which poetry volume I should bring, but it's hard. I think I've decided I'll go through them all and pick out the best ones and just bring a collection of poems. Maybe THAT will impress someone. Who knows? Maybe I'll get published, can retire early, and Arnold and I can spend the rest of our lives traveling the world and marveling at the universe together._

_Ahh, what a dream to have._

_Dreaming of the best yet to come,  
Helga G. Pataki_


	10. Entry 3

Helga ran to her safe place in the emporium and spun around in joy while laughing to herself. “Ooh!” She swooned, her hands close to her heart as she spun, then stopped to pick up her journal and pen; ready to write down and capture all that had happened on her date with the one and only Arnold-- her very heart itself. 

_Oh journal! Oh rapture! Oh pure ecstasy! Oh sweet, magnificent Arnold!_

_Journal, you will not BELIEVE the night I've had or the amazing experience that I've just been through. Let me tell you ALL about it._

_So first, Arnold had me show up at his place wearing a warm jacket that my mom had, unbelievably actually picked up from the dry cleaners this time around. Wearing my jacket, I walked to the boarding house and showed up a little cold, but mostly excited for whatever Arnold had in store for me. I knocked on the door and within seconds, Arnold was there in his own jacket ready to take me to wherever it was that we were going._

_“You ready for our date?” he asked me and I shrugged my shoulders with my hands deep inside the pockets of my jacket._

_“Considering you have me dressed as a marshmallow, I think I'm ready to go. Lead the way?”_

_We walked and walked, talking all the while about school and other silly things to pass the time as the wind practically tried to blow us away. While I tried to get him to let us take the bus, he protested that we should walk and I went along with it knowing he had to have something up his sleeve for us to not take the bus. So we continued walking in the cold of winter, my teeth chattering as Arnold reached out to take my ice-cold hand to walk hand-in-hand with me down the sidewalk as we neared the park, empty at that time of night from the usual hustle and bustle of people._

_“Where are you taking me, football-head?” I asked and Arnold merely squeezed my hand._

_“You'll see,” he said with a smile while pulling me towards the frozen lake where people usually ice skated during the day. “C'mon,” he encouraged me as he let go of my hand and began walking on the ice and I looked at him like he was crazy._

_“What are you, mad?” I asked with a laugh and he shook his head._

_“I have a plan,” he called out from the center of the lake where he now stood. “Come on, what are you, scared? Helga G. Pataki is scared of a little ice?”_

_I rolled my eyes, “The ice could break, ya dingus,” I stated but Arnold shook his head._

_“It's pretty solid. You want proof?” He asked before jumping on the ice and I reached out as if I could stop him from where I stood._

_“Would you stop already?!”I screamed at him and he stopped but not without trying to get me out on the ice once more._

_“Not until you come out here,” He said with a sly smirk on his face and with a large sigh, I broke and carefully walked onto the ice to follow him towards the center of the lake where he was standing._

_“There. Are you happy?” I asked between chattered teeth and Arnold grinned._

_“Very. Now, let's lay down.” he stated before doing so and patting the spot of ice next to him._

_“You want ME to lay down on the ICE.” I deadpanned and he nodded his head from where he lay._

_“That's what I want, yes.”_

_“And why is that, smart guy?” I wondered and he shrugged his shoulders while propping his arms up on his stomach._

_“You'll just have to trust me, now won't you?” he teased and I sighed again, dramatically this time before lowering myself to lay on the ice beside him and stared up at the sky while shivering from where I lay beside him._

_“Okay. I'm laying. Now what the heck kind of date are we on?” I demanded and Arnold pointed up at the sky._

_“You see the moon?” He asked and I nodded my head._

_“Yeah, what about it?” I wondered and he dropped his arm back to his stomach._

_“It's surrounded by stars. This is one of the only spots in the city where you can see them all at once.” Arnold stated and I nodded my head while taking in his words._

_“It's pretty,” I mused while staring up at the sky and focusing on the stars as the glimmered above us. “Kind of inspirational.”_

_Arnold smiled from where he lay while reaching out to take my hand in his. “I was hoping you'd say that.”_

_I turned my head from the sky to look over at him. “You were?” I asked and he turned his head to look back at me._

_“You've been so stressed lately and with the writer's conference coming up, I wanted to do something that would inspire you to write something, even if it was just staring out at the stars.” He tilted his head back to face the sky ahead and spoke again. “I've always found the sky to be fascinating. And I may not be an artist or anything like you, but I can imagine that something so beautiful would be inspirational to someone like you.”_

_I stared up at the stars then, my mind wandering as my eyes gravitated towards the full moon as it glowed down on us from where we remained on the ice. Suddenly, without thinking, words spewed from my mouth. “Oh, most luminous orb in the indigo sky, looketh you upon my ideal guy. Oh all knowing lunar sphere, taunting from above, wilst thou never guide me to my one true love?”_

_Arnold's eyes grew wide as he stared at me and I caught his glance while raising a brow. “What?” I asked and he shook his head in shock._

_“Where... where did you hear that?” he asked and I smirked._

_“Nowhere. I made it up.” I said and he continued shaking his head in disbelief._

_“But I've heard it before... in a dream or something...” He said more to himself than to me._

_“I don't know how you could have, I just made it up now. I'm...sorry...?” I apologized and Arnold squeezed my hand._

_“No need to apologize. It was beautiful. I just don't understand why you need to ask the moon for help finding your ideal guy.” His voice quivered for a moment before he finally spoke again. “I thought maybe... that might...might be me.”_

_Oh, be still my heart! Arnold finally sees us the way I've always seen us-- true soulmates. I shook slightly from not only the cold, but at his statement and my smile grew from ear to ear as I looked at him and scooted closer to him so our bodies were touching. “You ARE my ideal guy, Arnold. And better yet, YOU found ME. I'd already found you, I just had to wait a while for you to find me too.”_

_“Well I did,” he said after a moment while scooting closer to me too and wrapping an arm around my shoulders, “You proved yourself in the jungle and you prove yourself with every word you say to me. You've really opened yourself up these passed few months and I'm really proud of you, Helga.”_

_I shrugged my shoulders, “It's nothing, really,” I stated but Arnold disagreed._

_“It isn't nothing, Helga. It takes a lot to open yourself up to someone, especially someone you like a lot the way you like me. Someone you l-love.”_

_I knew the word still made him uncomfortable as he hadn't adjusted to all my feelings quite yet, but I still have hope that one day he'll understand the just of all my feelings and we can live in love the way I've always dreamed. But laying on that ice, staring up at the stars in the quiet of night, it was nice and calm and everything that felt like how love should feel. So I'd say he's getting close to feeling it. At least I hope so._

_“Well,” I said after his comment about love, “I do you know. Even if you don't feel the same way just yet. Which I understand, there's no rush.” I quickly added so he knew that I wasn't pressuring him to feel the same feelings I felt._

_“I know,” he replied, “But that doesn't mean I don't have feelings for you.”_

_This made me smile and I stared up at the stars, their luminescence glittering above us in the open sky. “Thanks for taking me out here tonight,” I told him after a moment of silence, “I uh... I needed to get away from everything for a while. Even if it is freezing cold out here and we're lying on ice.”_

_Arnold chuckled, “You're welcome. Did it inspire you?” He asked and I nodded my head._

_“Sure did. You know what else it inspired me to do?”_

_Arnold glanced over at me and raised a brow. “What's that?”_

_Carefully, I leaned over, my cold lips finding his to press against them for the briefest of moments though he held his against mine for just a moment longer. We stayed like that for a minute or so under the light of the sky, the still of the night, and then pulled apart; Arnold's eyes hot on me as he smiled wide. “Wow,” he said and I shared in his smile._

_“Wow is right,” I replied and he chuckled._

_“I uh... we should get going,” he said awkwardly before pushing himself up and then offering his hand to help me up as well. “It's getting pretty late and you're right when you say it's freezing cold.”_

_I laughed and nodded my head. “Freezing cold is definitely right. My buns could fall off.”_

_And under the moonlight, we walked back to his house to be greeted with hot chocolate topped with marshmallows and fresh baked cookies thanks to Gertie who had insisted they were in honor of Valentine's Day._

_But after the kiss we shared, I couldn't agree more. It certainly felt like Valentine's Day to me and Arnold and I couldn't stop staring at each other with a smile planted on our faces with our secret tucked away inside our minds. This kiss was unlike the other, nobody had been watching us and it was so romantic that I felt like my heart would burst._

_It was a night I never want to forget and that's why I'm writing it all down to you, dear journal. So that I can re-read it again and again and never forget this, the sweetest of kisses I've yet to share with Arnold. This whole night was awe-inspiring and filled my heart with joy. Thus, inspiring this very poem which I've written for this very occasion._

_Oh sweet, glorious stars  
That sing their sweet songs from above  
Shine down upon me   
With nothing but love _

_Show me the long-lost path  
As you've done so many times before   
Guide me with your warm light   
And give me something more _

_Let the moon shimmer its glimmer  
Let the stars deliver their radiant glow   
But know that I'm here   
Waiting down below _

_Luminescent Orb  
That I look up at and hear my wish   
I dare for more, long for more  
Long for another long-lasting kiss._

_Inspired and Loved,  
Helga G. Pataki _

_~~~_

_Howdy, again._

_So Arnold and I had... an interesting conversation today during lunch period. Not a bad interesting or anything, just interesting is all._

_We were sitting at the lunch table with Gerald and Phoebe, talking about the writer's conference coming up in the next couple of days. Phoebe was proud of me for getting into the conference, but I could tell that she was a tad jealous that she hadn't been picked even though she wasn't that great at writing when it came to the creative sense. Look, she's my best friend and all, but she just doesn't have the creative mind when it comes to writing-- she's a research girl and there's nothing wrong with that. Just not the kind of person they send to a young writer's conference I guess._

_Either way, we were talking about it coming up when Arnold reached for my hand and held it above the table, Gerald's eyes glancing over to us as he did so._

_“You two have certainly become more... open about things,” he noted before taking a bite of his food and chewing while eyeing Arnold and me suspiciously._

_“What's wrong with being open about a relationship, Gerald?” Arnold asked._

_“Yeah, look at Rhonda,” I added, “she flaunts her relationships around all willy nilly every week.”_

_“I simply believe in discretion,” Phoebe added, “As does Gerald. Correct?” She asked while turning to look at him as he sighed and nodded his head._

_“You hold hands the whole way to school though,” I said and Gerald rolled his eyes._

_“Some flaunting,” he sarcastically stated and I smirked._

_“It's still showing your relationship so what's your issue with us showing ours? It isn't like nobody knows we're together.” I stated and both Gerald and Phoebe shrugged their shoulders while reluctantly nodding their heads._

_“I suppose you have a valid point,” Phoebe said after a moment and I grinned._

_“Thank you,” I conveyed before finishing the brownie on my tray._

_It was a weird conversation to have with my friends, but I think they finally understand that there's no harm in Arnold and I showing that we're a couple. I mean, like I said, it isn't like nobody knows we're together now. We're done hiding it and as long as everyone leaves us the heck alone about it, I'm cool with holding his hand in front of other people._

_What have I got to lose anyway?_

_Feeling ballsy,  
Helga G. Pataki _

_~~~_

_Hello._

_There's a period at the end of that because I've had one heck of a day. I guess I figured out what it was that I had to lose and that happens to begin with the names of Harold, Stinky and Sid. They just won't leave Arnold and I alone! It's ridiculous! The goons bug us every single day about our relationship and if it weren't for Arnold literally holding me back, I'd pound them right in their smug faces._

_Maybe Gerald and Phoebe were right... maybe discretion is to be advised._

_In other news, Bob and Miriam have been fighting about telling Olga the dirty truth about our little secret. Ever since Mom's been laying off the smoothies, her willpower has kicked in and she's been wanting to 'do the right thing' a whole lot more. I keep holding bets inside my mind wondering who will win. I'll keep you posted.  
Besides that, I'm just frustrated with my classmates. Could they be any dumber? Any lamer? Any less mature?_

_Ready to beat someone's face in,  
Helga G. Pataki _

_~~~_

_So..._

_I think my new idea of discretion has hurt Arnold's feelings. He doesn't seem to get why I don't want to hold his hand anymore in front of people and while I tried to explain it all to him, he just doesn't seem to get why it bothers me so much and why I can't shut out Stinky, Sid and Harold's voices like he can._

_But I'm not Arnold. I'm not some perfect, mindfulness-mastered weirdo who can tune out the evils of our classmates. I just end up clenching my fists and want to smack them right in their dumb faces. Sure, they might just be immature 11 year olds and sure they might just be taking out their own frustrations on us, but it still hurts and makes me feel bad and our relationship invalid._

_And the thing is, I KNOW our relationship isn't invalid. I KNOW that what I have with Arnold is real and this time I'm not just making it all up. So why am I so phased by their stupid words? Why am I so bothered by their mocking and their lame teasing? I shouldn't be. In fact, I should be amused by it all because of how wrong they are and how right we are to flaunt what we obviously have._

_Anyway, the young writer's conference is in three days now and I've gathered up most of my best poems in preparation to show them off in hopes to win all conference. They pick the best writer out of the entire conference and give them this prestigious award to take home and publish one of their works in his big-deal magazine, so I'm really hoping my writing is good enough to take home that trophy and shove it in Bob's face._

_Now THAT would be a sight to see._

_Hoping for the best,  
Helga G. Pataki. _

_~~~_

_I made a bold move today._

_I showed Arnold my poems._

_I know what you're thinking. You're crazy, right? Showing Arnold all the poems that are mostly (okay all) about him. But I needed some feedback and encouragement going into this young writer's conference and Arnold was the only one I trusted enough to share that part of myself. And if I couldn't share my poems to Arnold, how in the heck was I supposed to share my poems with a community of people judging them for all conference?_

_So I took out the scattered papers I'd thrown into a binder and sat him down on his couch while I sat on the floor of his bedroom and read each and every one to him, throwing my feelings out completely bare as if I were naked in front of him; my feelings completely raw and out there for the first time in my entire life._

_After I finished, Arnold looked at me with a half-lidded gaze and smiled a warm smile my way. “Those are wonderful, Helga. Absolutely stunning.”_

_I raised my brow, closing the binder slowly and looking up at him completely. “R-really?”_

_Arnold nodded his head, moving to sit down on the floor with me while crossing his legs. “Really. You've got a gift, Helga. And there's no doubt in my mind that you'll win all conference with your poetry. I've never heard anything like what you've read me. It's even better than the poetry we study in school.”_

_I reached up to run my fingers through my hair, blush rising up through my body and to my cheeks. “Criminy, Arnold, you're making me blush,” I admitted and he chuckled._

_“I'm not trying to, just being honest is all,” he said while reaching out to take the binder from me. “May I?” He asked and I nodded my head, giving him the binder willingly as he opened it up and began flipping through the poems looking at each one carefully before pointing to one in particular._

_“This one,” he said, “I recognize this one...” he said before reciting it. “Arnold my love, my sultry pre-teen,” he paused for a moment before looking up at me. “That parrot... in fourth grade...it used to say this poem all the time. Was it yours?”_

_My blush reddened as I nodded my head reluctantly and laughed to myself. “Yeah... that was all me. It overheard me writing the poem and the rest... is history.”_

_Arnold laughed and shook his head. “Wow... well, it's a great poem regardless. That parrot knew good poetry when it heard it.”_

_“Rest in peace,” I muttered only making Arnold laugh more._

_“You remember Mr. Simmons' face when he saw it get eaten by your lizard?”_

_“Oh man!” I said chortling, “That was a riot! What did he say again?” I asked and Arnold answered as we both said in unison,_

_“Remember, what we saw was uh... cycle of life in action...!” we both then erupted in laughter at the comment and shook our heads as we remembered that crazy day of show and tell all those years ago like it had been lifetimes ago._

_“Man, Helga, you've been writing poetry for forever,” Arnold finally said after his laughter had subsided and I nodded my head with a shrug._

_“Yeah, but it only got good as of recently. Any of them stick out to you for the conference?” I asked and Arnold let out a 'hmm' as he continued flipping through the pages and carefully eyeing each page._

_After a few minutes of inspecting my work, Arnold pointed his finger to a page in particular and smiled. “This one. Definitely this one.” He said before clearing his throat and beginning to read the words off the page that I'd written._

_“Under the hot lights of day  
Staring into the mirror; prepared to see   
I don the old mask I've worn all my life  
for those who expect to see the best of me. _

_But I shan't let them see  
I shan't let myself break   
this mask that I wear has taken   
so many years just to make_

_Doth thou see right through?  
Cans't thou see behind my bloodshot eyes?   
Dost thine glisten with mine own tears   
to hide the air of my surprise?_

_Let me hide all my weakness  
Let me hide all mine own shame   
For behind this hardened mask   
Bares the one of my true name_

_The lost soul of mine own true self.”_

_I shuddered at the words of my own poetry and took a moment to digest it before speaking at last. “Lemme see that,” I said while snatching the binder back and looking down at the poem I'd entitled 'Ode to Myself.'_

_I glanced over at Arnold and frowned. “Really? This one?”_

_Arnold nodded his head confidently and pointed back to the binder. “It's raw and real. It shows your true colors and is the only poem you showed me that was about you. I think that shows your true writing skills.”_

_I looked down at the binder and stared at the words written on the page and sighed, knowing he was right. This WAS the only poem in ALL my volumes that I'd actually written about myself and the funniest part was that it was only on the back of a page that had ended up in the binder so it wasn't even supposed to end up here in the first place._

_But either way, Arnold was right. Maybe this poem WAS my best chance at winning. It was deep, it was emotional and it was most importantly raw and real-- words written by the real me._

_So that's it. 'Ode to Myself' it is._

_Let's see if this one can win me that big ole trophy._

_Future Winner,  
Helga G. Pataki_

_~~~_

_Well, today is the day._

_I'm currently packing up and getting ready to head for the young writer's conference down in the city with all my poems, 'Ode to Myself' at the very top of the pile prepared to be shown to the judges and prepared to win that big stinkin' trophy (if there even is one? I'm not actually sure). But aside from all my false confidence, there is a side of me that's a little worried about the outcome of what's to come._

_Sure, I'm nervous, but most of all I'm excited to go down and meet other writers and just be in my element. Plus, it'll be wicked cool to be away from all of the saps back home who would just rain on my parade. They all don't realize my potential, everyone that is except for Arnold who fully realizes just what I'm capable of-- and that's winning this young writer's conference._

_Anyway, I'm gonna be late for the bus to take me down to the city so I'd better get going._

_See you when I win!  
Helga G. Pataki_


	11. Entry 4

_Well hello there Journal,_

_I suppose you're wondering how the young writer's conference went, huh? Well allow me to spill all the juicy details for you right here so I can remember them later when I'm old and gray._

_So our group of five got onto the school bus that was like, the 12th stop on the ride to the city where the conference was being held. Which of course wasn't the LAST stop on our way there. We had like a million left to go and by the time we reached the hall where the young writer's conference was being held, our bus was filled to the brim with students of all ages chattering about all excited to get to our destination._

_Everyone except me of course. Nah, I was seated with my binder, my body pressed up against the window as I stared out at the scenery as we passed it by until the giant hall came into view; buses lined up against the curb letting hoards of students out of their doors to laugh and talk among themselves as they entered the building that held the conference._

" _Woah," I muttered to myself as the passenger sitting next to me smiled my way and began talking to me._

" _Isn't it grand?" She said. "I can't believe we were all chosen to come here! It's such an honor after all!"_

_I nodded my head at her while continuing to look out the window and watch as the groups of children made their way inside the conference hall with their teachers trying to lead the way and count them all up as they walked with lunch bags in hand._

" _Think it will be fun?" My seat-mate asked me and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _I sure hope so. I'm not really sure what to expect. I've never gone before." I answered and the girl beside me stood up as our bus stopped and began to unload us._

" _Me neither, but I've heard from others that it's a blast. You get to meet and talk to real authors of books and learn about publishing your works and there's even an all conference winner, though it usually goes to a sixth grader," she said gesturing for me to stand up as well and I did so. "What grade are you in?" She asked and I smiled._

" _Sixth," I replied and the girls eyes widened._

" _Then you stand a pretty good chance," she said before joining the line of passengers and disappearing out the door of the bus leaving me to my thoughts as I waited to join the line myself._

 _If only she knew what she was up against, I thought to myself. Although with all these OTHER kids... if only_ I  _knew what I was up against..._

_The hall was packed with kids and our chaperon tried to keep us all in line with one another so she could hand out the schedules. "Now first off you'll all get to choose which classes you want to attend, but be wary, we have to meet back up here during lunch which is at 12 o'clock. The 2nd graders through 4th graders will be accompanied by myself, but the 5h and 6th graders will be free to roam the hall, though there will be teachers all around to help you if you get lost. Take a look at your schedules everyone," She addressed us and we all glanced down to our papers in hand and peeked at the words typed down on them. "These are the classes that are being held in various rooms all throughout the conference hall. Grammar classes, fictional writing classes, nonfiction classes, poetry classes, publishing classes, pretty much anything you can think of writing-wise, there are classes for them. So choose wisely as each of these classes last an hour and we will only be here for a full school day which is 8 hours, minus your lunch hour and wrap up class which lasts 2 hours at the end giving you 5 classes you can attend."_

_I nodded my head along with the fellow students who had come with me and the chaperon clapped her hands with a smile on her face. "Alrighty then. The first classes start in about fifteen minutes so let's figure out which ones you'll be attending and let's head over there! 2Nd, 3rd, and 4th graders, let's pick our class and 5th and 6th graders, go find your first class! I'll see you at noon!"_

_I glanced down at my schedule again, searching for the poetry class the teacher had named off and quickly found the room name it was in. "Latoka Room" it said and with a shrug, I stalked my way off, following the signs above in the direction of the room and with ease, found it only to take a seat in the back of the room and set my binder on the desk in front of me._

_The class was educational. Kinda boring at first as we talked about the history of poems and why they were so important to literature in general. But then came the sharing portion and, taking Arnold's advice, I decided to share my poem just to get some feedback before I gave it over to the judges for all conference at the end of the day. After all, all opinions count, right?_

" _Did anybody bring any poems they'd like to share with the group today?" The head of the room asked and a bunch of hands shot up in the air along with mine and I frowned as I knew there were only ten minutes left in the class. My chances were shot. But I was surprised when she called on me. "You, in the back. The blonde with the pigtails. Would you like to share your poem?"_

_I looked around to see if anyone else around me also shared blonde pigtails, but then realized she was pointing to me and stood up, clearing my throat and opening my binder to my top poem which was ready to read to the class._

_Reciting it with ease and with severe nerves, the end finally came and an eruption of applause followed; the teacher of the class' jaw dropping as she looked at me in astonishment. "Wow, wow, wow!" She exclaimed. "What's your name, young lady?"_

" _Uh... Helga. Helga G. Pataki."_

" _And where are you from?" She asked. "What grade are you in?"_

" _I'm from Hillwood? And I'm in the sixth grade. I actually wrote this poem about a year ago."_

_The teacher shook her head in shock as she smiled at me. "Well Miss Pataki, I'd say we have a pretty big contender for all conference in our midst. That poem was absolutely splendid. I hope you'll be entering at lunch this afternoon. I'll certainly be putting in a good word for you," She said while jotting my name down on a slip of paper that sat at her desk._

_That was the most exciting part of the first half of the day. The next class I went to was all about publishing and I received a few good articles about how to go about getting your work published and where to start. Which was helpful because secretly, I'd always wanted to get my work out there and published, at least at some point or another. After that class, I chose to go to fictional story writing where the author of a book I'd never heard of but sounded promising taught the class and told us all about how to make storylines and go about finishing a story and fleshing out a full plotline to make an entire book which was really interesting and that class went by pretty fast._

_Then came time for lunch which consisted of paper bagged lunches filled with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, milk and some chips which wasn't NEARLY as good as a Stella lunch, but satiated my hungry belly nonetheless. Our teacher stood up then, gathering us all around to ask the question I'd been waiting for- the question about all conference._

" _Okay kids, now comes the time when I get to ask you if any of you would like to submit some of your work in for the prestigious all conference award. They'll be reading through them during this next section of classes and will announce a sole winner who will be published in the Life and Times magazine which is a national magazine, along with giving away a trophy, at the end of the day today. Any takers?" She asked and I looked around at our group as nobody raised their hands._

_Semi-confidently, I raised my hand up in the air and took a deep breath. "I uh... I brought something I'd like to submit." I stated quickly and the chaperon raised her brow before smiling and clapping her hands once._

" _Excellent! You can give it to me and I'll be sure it ends up in the hands of the judges."_

_Carefully, I reached in my binder and took out the copy I'd made of my poem and shakily handed it to her, then closed my binder and sat chewing on my sandwich as I watched the chaperon leave to hand off my poem to the powers that be._

_God, I hope this poem is good enough, I thought to myself as I finished my sandwich and the chaperon returned with a smile on her face. "All submitted!" She announced while holding a stack of t-shirts in her hand. "I also come baring gifts!" She teased before handing a shirt to each one of us that bore the logo of the young writers conference on them. "These are courtesy of the conference itself as a thank you for coming today. Feel free to wear them for the rest of the day," she said handing me one and winking in my direction._

_Needless to say, I just held it the rest of the day instead of wearing it. I'd use it for pajamas later._

_After lunch, classes resumed and no matter which classes I went to, I couldn't keep my mind off of my poem's soon-to-be fate. I found myself doodling on the pages I'd brought to take notes on and my mind wandered off into space as the teachers lectured on about this and that of writing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the classes, but my mind was just a titch per-occupied on the words of my poem and if they had been written well enough. There were just so many kids there and the odds of me winning weren't all that good. I mean sure, I was a good writer and all, but was I really THAT good? I was a small fish in a big pond here._

_By the time wrap up came, I was anxious for the award ceremony and skipped the book signing entirely because not only did I not have any money to buy any books, not even the cool sounding one from that one teacher, but because I just wanted to hear who had won all conference, even if it wasn't me._

_Finally, the time had come and we all gathered in the main room to sit down in our assigned seats by school and listened to the speaker on the stage talk._

" _Welcome, boys and girls, to the 32nd annual young writer's conference!" He announced and the crowd roared with applause before he gestured for everyone to quiet down. "I hope you've had a marvelous time here today learning about the wonderful world of writing and the talents you all clearly share. Now, it is time to give out an award that some of you have entered for and before we give that out, I just want to say that it takes tremendous courage to put your work out there and if you don't win here today, do not take that as a failure. Know that just by putting yourself out there, you are already a winner and a step further to becoming a real author." I rolled my eyes in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest as the speaker gestured for a piece of paper to be handed to him from where he stood at the podium._

" _And now, for the winning entry which I will read to you now." I uncrossed my arms and moved to sit on the edge of my chair, leaning in towards the stage as I hung on his every word. "This poet has shown not only great efforts in their writing, but a great struggle with their inner self which was displayed brilliantly and with great skill for a sixth grader."_

_Sixth grader, huh? I thought to myself. Well, I'm already one step closer, I told myself before waiting with my fingers crossed in hopes to hear my poem be read out loud._

" _It is entitled," the speaker said before clearing his throat, "'Ode to Myself' written by one Helga G. Pataki from PS118 in Hillwood," he announced and my eyes widened as I heard my name be called through the speakers of the hall; the eyes of my fellow PS118ers hot on me as he began to read my poem._

" _Under the hot lights of day_

_Staring into the mirror; prepared to see_

_I don the old mask I've worn all my life_

_for those who expect to see the best of me." He read and the world slowed around me as the ears of all the fellow students tuned in to hear my poem be read through the loud speakers for all to hear._

" _But I shan't let them see_

_I shan't let myself break_

_this mask that I wear has taken_

_so many years just to make" He continued, looking out in the crowd as if trying to spot me and I found myself standing up without thought._

" _Doth thou see right through?_

_Cans't thou see behind my bloodshot eyes?_

_Dost thine glisten with mine own tears_

_to hide the air of my surprise?" Slowly, I wandered through the line of chairs and made my way to the aisle where I began walking towards the stage, drawn to it almost as I walked while the speaker continued with my poem, the words haunting me with each step I took._

" _Let me hide all my weakness_

_Let me hide all mine own shame_

_For behind this hardened mask_

_Bares the one of my true name_

_The lost soul of mine own self." Finally, I made it to the stage, standing awkwardly at its side as the speaker finally noticed me and he turned to face me._

" _You must be the writer, no?" He asked and I slowly nodded my head, still in shock that after everyone who'd entered,_ I'd  _been the one who had been chosen. "Well come on up, Miss Pataki," he said before starting an applause that grew from him to the entire auditorium, hoops and hollers following as I looked out into the crowd, the lights blinding me slightly from seeing any faces in particular._

" _Your poem astounded the judges," The speaker said into the microphone. "We were blown away by your in depth representation of yourself and how deeply you made us feel at the pain and struggle of trying to find oneself behind the masks we put on every day just to show ourselves to the world. Fantastic job." He congratulated me with a pat on the back and I smiled at him before leaning over to speak into the microphone._

" _Th-thank you. Really." I said and he smiled as a woman brought over a trophy which he immediately handed over to me._

" _As all conference winner at this years young writer's conference, our esteemed panel of judges would like to congratulate you with this trophy, along with publishing your fine poem in the Life and Times magazine that will run next month across the nation." The speaker turned to look at me, a smile beaming across his face and he reached out to place a hand on my shoulder. "You, my dear, have earned it."_

_I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I had WON! I actually WON!_

_I WON ALL CONFERENCE!_

_That's right, you read it here first, journal, I, Helga G. Pataki, won ALL CONFERENCE at the young writer's conference AND there was a big ole trophy to rub in Big Bob's old face. Man, I wish I had a picture of his reaction to post in here because it was GOLDEN, let me tell you._

_I got home, prouder than a possum, trophy in hand with my binder and a certificate, t-shirt and binder in another, and swung open the beeper emporium door with a smile brightly plastered on my face._

" _Guess who's not the ONLY winner in this family?!" I announced and Bob turned around from his display to look at me with wide eyes._

" _What did you win?" He asked and I grinned while sticking the trophy in his face._

" _Read it and weep, old man," I stated and he looked down and squinted at the small print labeled at the base of the trophy._

" _All Conference Winner at the 32nd Annual Young Writer's Conference... what the heck is that?" He asked and I sighed while rolling my eyes._

" _It's that thing I got invited to_ dad _. At my parent teacher conference?" I explained._

" _Oh yeah, right, right. That writing thingy. Well good job, Olga."_

_I frowned, knowing that this hadn't impressed him as much as I thought it would have. "It's Helga, dad," I said softly while trudging to the back of the emporium; or at least trying to get to my safe place in the empire before Mom intercepted me with a big hug._

_"Oh honey!" She yelled as I yelped in her grip from the tight hug she entrapped me in. "You won your writer's thing! Oh... I'm just so proud!"_

_"Mom...too...tight..." I tried and she finally let me go to squish my face in her hands instead._

_"You know, this reminds me of the time I won my first all conference in swimming, aw, I was about your age too and I was just so excited. You must be thrilled."_

_"Yeah it's uh... it's a pretty big honor i guess."_

_"You guess?" She said letting go of my face to stand straight up with her hands on her hips, "Well i wouldn't guess at all. I'd say this is as big an honor as any. B! Our daughter deserves her own trophy spot, don't you think?"_

_"Huh, Miriam?" He asked uninterested as Miriam took the trophy from my hands and wandered over to a spot left empty from boxes and other miscellaneous items and things. "How about we put it right here? For ALL of us to see?"_

_I smiled, appreciating Miriam's effort in trying to make up for Bob's lack of care. "That'd be real nice, mom. I-I'd like that."_

_She grinned back at me, giving me another affectionate squeeze before telling me to go on and run off to go write some more award winning poetry which instead of doing, i just ran straight to the back of the emporium to write in you instead._

_And that's where I am now, journal. But don't worry, I won't let Bob get me down. I still get to rub it in everyone's faces tomorrow at school and show it off at Arnold's place tomorrow and I KNOW Stella and Miles will be proud of me for this accomplishment. At least SOMEBODY will be._

_And somebody is better than nobody. Even if it is just your surrogate family._

_But the best part about growing up is that you get to choose your family and I think I've done a pretty good job choosing so far. Arnold's family is the greatest and I couldn't be happier with my decision._

_I just hope they'll be as ecstatic as I am. I know Arnold will be. If it wasn't for him, I never would have won this competition in the first place._

_Reading my poems to him was the best bold choice I'd ever made in my young life._

_And I can't WAIT to thank him._

_Proud of myself for ONCE,_

_Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

_Ready for a recap?_

_Being as it's the weekend, I went to Arnold's house with my big fat trophy all shined to perfection with a smile on my face and knocked on his door. Arnold was quick to answer the door, a grin beaming on his face the moment he saw me._

" _You won?" He exclaimed, his eyes wide at the sight of the trophy I was holding._

_I nodded my head, words escaping me as he took grip of my arm and pulled me into the house, calling out to his parents and the boarders as he did so. "She won, everybody! Helga won all conference! And she brought the trophy!" He yelled as people rushed down the stairs and through the halls, from the kitchen and out of the bathroom to see the award I'd brought with me, my body forcing a laugh out as Arnold paraded me around the boarding house to show off my success._

" _She won?" Stella asked as she exited the kitchen, Miles accompanying her._

" _I knew she would!" Miles said with a fist pump in the air. "How does it feel? How DID it feel to win?"_

_I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders. "It felt pretty good," I said before shaking my head and laughing loudly, "Oh who am I kidding, it felt freakin' AWESOME!"_

" _What did you use?" Stella asked while wiping her hands on a towel, "One of your poems?"_

" _Yeah. I actually, erm, used a poem that Arnold suggested that I use." I admitted with a blush of my cheeks and Arnold smiled from beside me while placing a hand on the small of my back._

" _It was an amazing poem. I knew she'd win with it," He said confidently and Miles raised his brow._

" _Oh really? Which poem? What was it called?" He asked and I swallowed hard before answering._

" _It was called 'Ode to Myself,'" I said, Stella and Miles sharing a look._

" _Any chance you'd read your winning poem for us?" Miles asked then and I held the trophy tight to my chest while fighting the answer._

" _I don't know if that's such a great idea... it's kinda deep..." I said and Stella shrugged her shoulders._

" _We like deep. C'mon, what's sharing it one more time? I'm sure they'll share it in front of your class come Monday anyway, don't you think?"_

_Dang, she had a point, I thought and I turned to Arnold who nodded his head encouragingly and I cleared my throat before beginning to recite the poem that I'd had practically memorized since it was shared through the loud speakers just the day before. And since I've shared said poem with you on multiple occasions now, dear journal, I'll spare you the sap and skip to the part where they applauded and began showering me with compliments at my award-winning poem._

" _That was extraordinary, Helga!" Stella said while clapping, Miles nodding his head in agreement._

" _I concur, that was amazing! No wonder you won! Nobody stood a chance with that piece of work!"_

" _Thanks guys," I said sheepishly while looking down at my feet. "I couldn't have done it without Arnold's coaxing though. If it hadn't been for him, I would have chosen some other silly poem about...well...something else...and it wouldn't have shown off my strengths as well as this poem did."_

" _Well we couldn't be more proud of you," Stella said while walking up to me to put a hand on my shoulder. "What did your parents say? Were they proud of you as well?"_

 _I sighed and set the trophy down beside me and shook my head. "My parents hardly even NOTICED. And Bob got my name wrong AGAIN. It was like his precious_ Ol _ga had one the whole thing to him, and not me."_

" _Oh sweetie," she cooed, while reaching out to hug me as tightly as she could manage. "No matter what your parents say or think, you ARE a winner." She let go of me then and pulled back to look me in the eyes. "Be that winner for us. For Arnold. But most importantly for_ yourself _. You're the one who matters most of all."_

_I nodded my head to her, taking in her words for everything they were and offering a small smile. "I am?" I asked and Miles walked towards me then, standing behind Stella and grinning down at me._

" _You are. You're special, Helga. Not everyone can win something like you just won and if your parents don't see that, then shame on them, but_ we  _see that and I know our son does too, don't you Arnold?" He asked and Arnold nodded his head assuredly._

" _I certainly do," he said before Miles continued._

" _As I said before, you have a gift, a one of a kind sort of gift that needs to be shared with the world and now it will be. You said this will be published?" He asked and I nodded my head._

" _In the Life and Times magazine next month."_

" _Then we should celebrate!" Miles expressed with his arms up in the air. "I say we all go out for some ice cream down at Slausen's. What do you say, Helga, Arnold? You up for a celebration?"_

_I turned to face Arnold who was beaming beside me. "I think that sounds like just what this calls for," Arnold said and I smiled to him._

" _I couldn't agree more."_

_So the four of us went out for ice cream at Slausen's with my big ole trophy and enjoyed each other's company laughing and talking the way a real family does when something amazing happens to someone. It was refreshing to get the kind of congratulations for once and to feel acknowledged by people I truly cared about. It was a feeling I'd never felt before in my entire life and I'll never forget it as long as I live._

_Especially since I've written it down to live in infamy here in this precious journal I've yet to really thank Miles for._

_More to come,_

_Helga G. Pataki_

 

 


	12. Entry 5

_Today was the day._

_Today was the day where the entire class heard a poem by me, actually CLAIMED by me and not by 'anonymous' for the very first time._

_And it felt AMAZING. Well. Sort of._

_I sat in my assigned spot next to Arnold and Phoebe, Gerald sitting ahead of Arnold, and waited patiently for the teacher to announce my success at the young writer's conference on Friday; my anxiety growing as I knew he'd read my poem to the entire class. But why be anxious? I thought, Why bother be anxious when the poem would soon grace the magazine of Life and Times by next month for the entire nation to read at their own leisure?_

" _Class," the teacher greeted us before we started the English portion of our day just after lunch, "before we begin English hour, I'd like to announce something very important that happened just this last Friday to one of our fellow classmates."_

_Being as hardly anyone knew about the existence of the young writer's conference, the class began to chatter among themselves in wonderment about what the announcement could be and about whom as I sat quietly in my chair awaiting the news with Arnold smiling my way and Gerald and Phoebe exchanging a look as I hadn't told them of my exciting information just yet._

" _What news?" Curly piped up from the crowd as a chorus of 'yeah's followed his question and the teacher gestured for everyone to quiet down before answering._

" _This last Friday was an event called the young writer's conference where one person from every class was chosen ahead of time to attend down in the city from every school in the state. And at that conference, kids were allowed to bring pieces of their work to be judged for the prestigious award of 'All Conference Winner' where their work would be published in the next issue of the Life and Times magazine which runs throughout the nation." The class oohed and ahhed at this while looking at each other in question as to who had been chosen to attend the conference our teacher was talking about while I sat silently awaiting for my name to finally be brought up._

" _You ready for this?" Arnold whispered over to me and I smiled while looking over to him._

" _For once... I think I actually am." I replied before our teacher spoke up once more._

" _And our very own Helga Pataki was chosen to go on this retreat and not only did she attend this conference, but she took home the all conference title with her poem, 'Ode to Myself!'" He announced before starting a clap that soon spread through the classroom as I blushed and looked down to my hands on my desk where they lay perfectly still as I awaited what was to come next._

_And I wasn't disappointed._

" _Now, in celebration to her amazing win at the conference, I'd like to start out our English lesson by reading her poem for the class and analyzing it for our poetry lesson today. It truly could be by one of the greats and end up in one our textbooks one day. Bravo, Helga," he said and my blush reddened in my cheeks as I glanced up to meet his eyes before he pulled out my poem from the sheets of paper on his desk and cleared his throat in preparation to recite it to the class._

_After he did so, the class looked over at me, staring, clearly in confusion that words so deep could come out of me, Helga G. Pataki._

" _So class," our teacher said while setting down the poem on his desk once more and then leaning against the wood, "what did we think?"_

_Rhonda raised her hand and our teacher pointed to her as she dropped her hand and began speaking. "Personally, I'm impressed. I never knew such deep thoughts could ever come out of Helga G. Pataki."_

_I rolled my eyes knowing her comment wouldn't be one of nice nature and sighed from where I sat, Arnold glancing over to look at me before turning to glare in Rhonda's direction before raising his hand._

" _Yes Arnold?" The teacher called on him and he lowered his hand to voice his opinion on my poem._

" _I'm not surprised at all, Rhonda-"_

" _Of COURSE you're not," she mumbled, though Arnold merely continued talking._

" _-I think that this poem shows a deep side to society's views as to who we show ourselves to be versus who we actually perceive ourselves to be. It shows that there is a divide to our personality. As least, that's what I get out of it." Arnold said confidently and I grinned knowing he was completely right at what I was trying to say in the poem. "And furthermore-" furthermore? "-I think that this poem shows that the writer feels lost within themselves even though they know there's someone behind the mask they are aware of. Something that...that...remains to be seen fully."_

" _Well said, Arnold," the teacher stated before turning to look at me, "but unlike with our textbooks, we actually have the writer here to ask if we are correct about their motives behind the poem so now I ask you, Helga, was that your inspiration behind this exceptional poem?"_

_I felt the heat of my classmates' eyes staring at me and I adjusted in my seat uncomfortably before glancing to Arnold who mouthed the words, 'it's okay' and then nodded my head. "Yeah that uh... well it's something like that I guess."_

_So that was my experience with my poem in front of my class and thankfully nobody brought it up again after we talked about it in class which I was thankful for. I didn't want them to read into it any further than Arnold already had for them. They didn't need to know what was going on in my head and why I wrote that poem. They didn't need to know that my whole life was just some act to hide my deep, meaningful feelings that made me feel weak and worthless and an entire push-over which I secretly was._

_Well, at least when it came to Arnold that is._

_That kid could make me do ANYTHING if he so chose. But he'd never use that power in vain. That's just the kind of guy he was. And for that, I am eternally thankful._

_Anyway, time to give that football-head a call since I couldn't make it over to his place tonight._

_Till later,_

_Helga G. Pataki._

* * *

_We're deep in wintertime here in Hillwood and wintertime means the winter concert for the sixth graders which is something I have not been looking forward to, almost as much as I am not looking forward to the sixth grader talent showcase that takes place in the spring._

_But either way, Mr. Simmons is in charge of the concert so I guess there is a plus side to having Granola Boy in charge of our choir of fools- the guy knows music._

_Anyway, we'll be singing some song from this animation movie called, "The Snowman" called, 'Walking in the Air' followed by 'Somewhere in my Memory' and finally finishing off with 'Let it Snow' the ever classic puke-fest of a winter-tune. At least the first two are pretty decent songs._

_The concert is a week from tomorrow and we have a lot of cramming to do. I hate the whole singing thing, but I guess I'm good enough to get a solo or something next to Gerald the singing sensation. Arnold seems to be pretty proud of me though, and for that, I'm pretty pumped._

_Doubt my parents will show for the concert though as it's the same week Olga will be gracing her with her presence again and we'll have to try and go forth with the same charade we pulled off the last two times she was home. But who knows, with mom on this whole new lifestyle change, maybe she'll win out and tell Olga everything against Bob's wishes and they'll show up after all. Either way, THIS time Olga'll be home for a whole WEEK so we'll see if our disaster-of-a-family can pull THAT off again. But who am I to lay claim on bets here? Maybe Olga will be the one to drag them along to see her 'dear baby sister' perform in the concert or maybe both her and mom will take Bob in chains. Honestly, anything can happen in THIS family._

_Whatever happens, at least I know Stella and Miles will be there alongside with Arnold's grandparents and all the boarders, so I mean, SOMEONE will be there waving the flag for my honor. Well, OUR honor._

_Off to do homework or maybe just blow it all off and write,_

_Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

_Wow, it's been a while since I've written in here._

_You've got a LOT to catch up on my dear confidant._

_What did I even talk about last? Let me re-read real quick..._

_Okay, the concert. So the concert went fine and all. My solo was... alright. I kind of forgot some of the lyrics but I recovered nicely if I do say so myself though I think I gave Mr. Simmons a mild heart attack from where he stood in the wings. I was just really nervous, okay? All those stupid kids and parents watching me with their cameras clicking and lights shining on me. You'd think I'd be all over the stage-fright after my dabbling in theatrics in the past but considering Olga had forced my parents to come and support me in the whole deal, I was shaking and sweating like a madman and I just...forgot what I was singing halfway through. And it was ALL CAUGHT ON TAPE._

_Criminy. What is my life?_

_My parents tried to convince Olga of our fake-life once again, though, with little success this time from a little birdie telling her the truth. And it wasn't even me this time! Mom broke down and spilled the beans, much to dad's dismay. I was pretty proud of her. She stood up tall in front of Bob and Olga and announced loud and proud that we were flat broke and living out of the emporium. Honestly, my jaw dropped to the floor. I wanted to burst into applause, but I thought that might be a little inappropriate. Of course Olga erupted into sobs and then anger which was a side of Olga I'd never seen before. She was furious at our parents for lying to her and not telling her the truth about their financial struggle. I kinda felt bad for her, being so out of the loop and all. Our parents never seem to have either of our best interests in mind, only their own and I went to Olga from where she cried in the back of the store once the illusion had been broken._

" _Olga?" I asked quietly and she quickly wiped her tears away though she continued to blubber._

" _Oh, oh Helga, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to live like this," she said while reaching out to touch my shoulder. "How long have you been in this emporium?"_

_I shrugged my shoulders, not as phased by all this as her. "Months now. Probably more than half a year."_

" _OH!" She broke while flying back into a flurry of tears and I tried my best to make it sound better than it really was._

" _Hey, hey, hey," I said calmly, "it isn't SO bad. I mean... yeah, dad makes me help out a lot with the business and yeah there isn't really a kitchen to make food in so we eat take-out a lot but I have...somewhere to go. Somewhere that's safe for me."_

_Olga looked up with mascara-stained cheeks, her sobbing calmed for the moment. "You do?" She asked and I nodded my head._

" _A...a good friend."_

" _Phoebe?" She suggested and I shook my head, deciding to come clean if it would bring her any sort of peace in the situation and stop her from even possibly giving me the option to come away and live with her._

" _Arnold," I stated while looking down to my feet, "You remember him, don't you?"_

_Olga nodded her head, an odd expression on her face. "That boy you saved while we were in San Lorenzo? The one with the funny shaped head and blonde hair?"_

_I smiled, his face coming to my mind as I agreed with her description. "Yeah, Olga, that's him. His family has been more than kind to me and most nights I go over there to their home and spend time with them just to escape this place. I feel...welcome there. Like a home away from...well...here." I said with a gesture to the emporium which we were standing in._

" _I'm glad you have somewhere you can go. This isn't a suitable place to raise a child, Helga. Our parents...they've really messed up this time and I'm just so sorry you have to be in the middle of it." She apologized and I sighed while saying the only thing I could think of that might give her some hope in the bleak situation._

" _Look, I was planning on ditching here and going to Arnold's in a little bit. Do you uh... do you want to come with? I'm sure his parents wouldn't mind. And then you could see that it really is all okay. I have... I have parent figures now that DO care about me unlike Mom and Dad. So I'm really alright. You don't have to worry about me while you're gone."_

_Olga shook her head tentatively, "Oh Helga, I couldn't..."_

" _Nah, you really can," I said, "I don't mind. And trust me, neither will they. Or Arnold."_

_So off we went, Bob protesting all the while, to my safe haven, Olga in tow. And when I knocked on the familiar boarding house doors, Arnold was more than surprised to see my guest standing next to me with a smile planted on her face._

" _Olga?" He asked and I nodded my head while she spoke._

" _Hello Arnold. Helga told me she's been spending a lot of time here lately and she invited me over to-"_

" _To get away from our parents," I finished for her. "The cat's out of the bag about Bob and Miriam losing all their money."_

" _Oh boy," Arnold said while reaching up to rub at the back of his neck before he opened the door further. "Come on in, we're just getting ready for dinner."_

_Olga leaned over to me before we entered the house, "Do you usually join them for supper?" She asked and I nodded my head._

" _All the time. It's fine, really. Just relax, alright? You're in my safe haven, now." I confidently said and she nodded while following me inside._

_Of course, Stella and Miles were gracious to Olga as she cried while explaining how foolish she felt to have believed them and how horrid she felt to know that I'd been living in that situation for so long now. She thanked them for taking me in and making sure that I was safe and doing alright and of course they said it was no problem as they loved having me around, something Olga was thrilled to hear._

" _Helga's never been the greatest at making friends," Olga said as she sat on the couch and I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms._

" _I make friends just fine, Olga," I mumbled though only Arnold heard me and he chuckled softly._

" _Well she fits in just great around the boarding house," Miles said from where he sat on the chair next to the sofa. "She's really become part of the family and a great addition to our Arnold's life." He said with a wink and Arnold blushed while looking down to his lap._

" _I'm just so happy to hear that. Helga's really needed more people in her life to support her. And with me being gone so much, I worry about her and how she's doing," Olga said with a small frown and Miles nodded his head sympathetically._

" _Well you don't have to worry. She's safe here. And she always has somewhere to stay as long as we're around." Miles said proudly before pushing himself up to stand and stretching slightly. "Well, I'd say from those eluding smells from the kitchen that dinner is just about finished. Whattya say we head on in there for some grub?"_

_So of course we headed in for food, homemade lasagna, and Olga stole the show like she usually did but I didn't even mind this time around because the conversation didn't revolve all around her and her achievements. In fact, she spent a lot of the time gushing over me and how proud she was of all that I'd accomplished, including my big steal at the young writer's conference. It was slightly embarrassing, but also amazing to have a meal with Olga where she wasn't constantly the center of attention and being the best daughter in the entire world. And Miles and Stella were the best hosts. They asked plenty of questions about Olga, but asked about both of us as well, our lives together and growing up, the lives that we'd led and what life was like for us now. They seemed genuinely interested in all we had to say and around that table, we could be completely honest without having to fake any of our answers like we usually had to around Bob and Miriam._

_It was refreshing to just be ourselves, and I could sense that Olga felt so too. By the end of the night, as we were saying our goodbyes and headed for the door, Olga stopped me and set a hand on my shoulder._

" _Helga, thank you so much for telling me to come with you tonight. I can see why you call this place your safe haven. Stella and Miles are amazing." She said and I smiled in agreement._

" _They really are. They're the kind of parents I hope to be someday. If I ever get lucky enough that is."_

_Olga glanced over my shoulder at Arnold and then back to me with a smile on her face. "Something tells me you will, but I'm afraid dear baby sister, that this is where I leave you for the night."_

" _What?" I asked, and she let her hand fall from my shoulder while nodding her head._

" _I think your little friend Arnold wants you to stay just a bit longer, and if I were you, I'd stay. After all, he is your boyfriend now, isn't he? And first boyfriends are awfully special."_

_My eyes widened. "How-How did you KNOW that?" I asked and she shrugged, her smile wide on her face as I confirmed her suspicions._

" _I'm your big sister, Helga. I can sense these things. And I wholeheartedly approve. Let me deal with mommy and daddy. Besides, I think we have a lot to talk about."_

_And with one more goodbye, she was gone, leaving me with Arnold at the front of the boarding house before he whisked me away to his room where we took a seat on his couch and bed to talk about the night we'd just had._

" _So Olga, huh? Never thought you'd invite her over here," Arnold stated and I shrugged with a blank expression._

" _She needed to get out of the emporium after figuring out all the facts of the situation." I responded and Arnold nodded his head with a sly look on his face._

" _And just how exactly did she figure it all out? It wasn't you, now was it?"_

_I laughed nervously, looking around myself awkwardly, "Me?" I said mid-laugh, "What on earth makes you think it was ME that spilled the beans and told her all about my parent's lame plan to convince her we were still rich and living the dream life back at home?" I blurted out quickly and Arnold read right through me with his half-lidded gaze and crossed his arms._

" _Helga..." He scolded and I threw my arms in the air._

" _What?!" I exclaimed, "She had the right to know what I'm going through over there! And she had the right to know that our parents were lying to her outright. Don't you think?"_

_Of course he agreed and we spent the rest of the night talking about homework which was our poetry assignment that he desperately needed my help with. It was nice. And at the end of the night he gave me a peck on the lips that I am still thinking about to this moment as I sit here writing about it in you._

_Is it too much to say that every moment spent with Arnold is a moment spent in pure bliss? Is it too much to think that this could be the beginning of the rest of my life? Maybe. Maybe I'm being hopelessly optimistic about it all, but honestly? I don't care. I'm just happy it's all happening the way it is and I'm trying to live one day at a time._

_It's hard. Like REALLY hard. Like STUPID hard. But I'm trying my best to look at Arnold as my saving grace in this dumb world. He's become my rock, oddly enough._

_And I'm never letting go._

_Strangely Optimistic,_

_Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

_Arnold and I got into a fight today._

_It was dumb, really and fueled by some emotions I didn't even know where they sprouted from._

_I was at his house, just doing homework, when he wouldn't listen to what I was saying about the poem I was writing._

" _It's just not good or something." I said and he looked up from his book and turned to gaze over at me._

" _I thought it was really good."_

" _Well what do YOU know anyway?" I spat back at him while tapping my pencil on the notebook angrily. "This poem has to be PERFECT, don't you get it?"_

" _But why?" Arnold asked, "It's just an assignment."_

" _People expect so much from me now after that conference," I explained, "Every poem has to top the last."_

_Arnold frowned while closing his book. "Isn't that a little unrealistic? I mean you can't always top the last poem you write. You'll go crazy trying."_

" _What, you think I'm crazy now?" I assumed and Arnold's eyes widened at my statement._

" _WH-what? Helga, that's not what I was implying-" he tried but I slammed my notebook shut and stood up from the couch where I had been sitting and shoved my notebook into my backpack and forced it onto my back._

" _Yeah, SURE you weren't." I said sarcastically, "Just like you weren't implying that my poetry can never top the one I won with."_

" _What are you_ talking  _about, Helga?" Arnold asked growing more agitated as I continued talking like word vomit protecting out of my mouth._

" _Just quit with the act, football-head, I KNOW what you're thinking- you're thinking EXACTLY what I'm thinking. I'll NEVER beat that stupid poem no matter HOW hard I try."_

" _That's not what I'm saying at all Helga, why are you acting like this?" He asked and I threw my hands up in the air, tears beginning to well up in my eyes._

" _I...I don't KNOW!" I hollered while reaching up to wipe the tears spilling onto my cheeks, "What the... what is WRONG with me?" I questioned as Arnold stared at me questioningly from where he sat before standing up and walking towards me though I reached out to stop him._

" _Don't... just don't, Arnold. I don't need a pep talk or some words of wisdom from your freakish head, okay? I just... I need to leave or something, clear my head," I sniffled while trying to stop the tears from forming as they continued flowing down my cheeks._

_And I left. I just ran out of there, Stella and Miles calling after me wondering where I was headed though me and my freakish crying had no idea where I was headed next. It wasn't like I could just go back to the beeper emporium covered in salty tears._

_So I went to the only other place I knew I would be safe and might have a clue as to what the heck was going on with me._

_I went to Phoebe's._

" _Helga?" She asked when she answered the door and I wiped my face as I nodded my head. "Are you alright? You're crying."_

" _Well no doi, Pheebs," I replied with a sniffle, before she offered me inside and up to her room where we sat on her bed and she asked for the recap of what happened which I messily gave to her until she nodded her head and finally gave me the answer I'd been searching for to my sudden change of mood._

" _Helga," Phoebe said soothingly, "It sounds to me like perhaps your hormones may be taking control of the situation at hand."_

" _My hormones?" I repeated and she nodded her head._

" _They can have a great deal to do with our emotions, especially in females and particularly around the time of menstruation." she continued to explain and I rolled my eyes._

" _Yuck, Pheebs, I don't need a sex-ed lesson. I'm sure we'll be getting one of those soon enough in Health class."_

" _Within the next few week,_ _actually," Phoebe said and I sighed while looking down at my hands._

" _If it IS hormones, do you think Arnold will forgive me? Like...understand and all that?"_

_Phoebe smiled, looking to me and nodding her head. "Arnold is an understanding person with an extraordinary sense of compassion. I'm sure if you ask for forgiveness, he'll be more than willing to grant it to you. Especially since the two of you are in a solid relationship." She set a hand on my lap and squeezed my thigh. "I have a feeling it would take a lot more than a silly argument to break the two of you up so easily."_

_I just hope Phoebe is right and all it is are some whacked out hormones inside of me going crazy or something. And I really hope that Arnold forgives me for whatever it is that happened between us._

_Maybe health class can shed some light on what happened next week. Either that, or it'll just be a big hour of hot embarrassment._

_Finally cried out,_

_Helga G. Pataki_


	13. Entry 6

_Let me start you out with two words that can describe how my day went._

_Swimming Class._

_That's right. Since it's winter and all, we've started using the new indoor pool that was installed over the summer and let me tell you, swimming class is a joke for a variety of reasons._

_And for YOUR convenience, I'll list the bogus reasons just for your reading pleasure._

_A) We have to go to swimming class 2 days out of the week. It's supposed to get us used to the swimming classes we'll have to endure every OTHER day when we're in middle school. Ridiculous._

_B) Introduce the LOCKER ROOM AKA the most AWKWARD PLACE KNOWN TO MAN. I'll get to THAT later._

_C) The class is CO-ED which means we have to swim with the guys who gawk at our newly forming bodies only making the whole thing even MORE awkward than it has to be._

_And finally, D) Who the heck cares about swimming ANYWAY? I mean, unless you're gonna be some world class swimmer or something, why is it something us sixth graders have to be the only ones who have to endure it? Literally, we are the ONLY class, and the FIRST class who has to start this lame tradition of swimming class. PLUS the teacher of it isn't even our gym teacher, mind you, it's our SCIENCE teacher who used to be a swimmer in college or something. So what even, I ask you? What's the actual point?_

_Now that THAT'S all out of my system, let me talk a little bit more about the locker rooms and swimming class itself and the horrors of both of them._

_Let's start with the locker room since it's the first step and the first of the terrors that await in that which is swimming class._

_First of all, there's a warden of the locker room named Shirley and she's made of pure evil. She wanders around the small room full of tall red lockers watching everyone to make sure that nobody is goofing off or checking their phones while getting ready for either gym or swimming._

_Wait, wait, wait. I forgot to mention. There's TWO locker rooms. One for gym class, and one for swimming. Both are awkward, but the swimming one is significantly worse. I'll talk about the gym one first._

_So Shirley walks around, checking to make sure nobody is on their phones or goofing off or what have you. She carries around a brush that was left behind from ages ago and slaps it on her hand with each step she takes like a literal jail warden, which is where she gets her nickname, and tells us to hurry along every now and again as we rush to cover our half-naked bodies with our smelly gym clothes and rush to the gymnasium just down the hall._

_It's like cattle being rounded up._

_Then there's the SWIMMING locker room which is significantly smaller than the regular locker room. We all scramble to get one of the top lockers so we don't have to bend down to toss our stuff in the small lockers as we take our clothes off anxiously in hopes nobody will look at our blossoming bodies. Silence falls over the room as we itch to throw on the swimming suits as quickly as possible in hopes nobody will catch a sight of flesh that ought not to be seen by anyone... at least not at this point in our young lives. Much to Rhonda's dismay, we are each issued a used swimming suit that looks uniform to the rest in all different sizes hung up on a rack in the room. They're old, all blue, and one pieces at that that cover every inch of our unmentionables._

_After dressing ourselves with the ugly swimming suits, we hurry through the shower area and to that of the swimming pool where the boys flock out of their equally small (I imagine) locker room wearing swimming trunks that are all black and uniform to each other just like our suits. But unlike their suits, ours hug our bodies and we'd be fools not to see them eyeing our forms as we walk out of the locker room doors and head for the box full of swimming caps the girls are forced to wear to cover our heads of hair so that not even a strand enters the pool itself._

_Rhonda and a few of the other girls flaunt about the pool before entering, of course, to show off their slim figures and proud physique while the rest of us jump into the pool as fast as we possibly can in hopes that the chlorine-filled waters will cover up our bodies to hide them from the eyes of the boys until we begin our laps and other such foolish activities that we are forced to perform just to get a good grade._

_And then there's the lucky few- the lucky few who, every few weeks or so, have their periods (or so they SAY) and they get to walk laps around the pool in their gym clothes while the rest of us swim back and forth in our lanes in the pool from shallow to deep depending on our swimming capabilities. Of course, Shirley kept track of those periods on her calendar to make sure girls weren't lying just to get out of swimming class which is ridiculous even though I'd heard around the rumor mill that it had been done on the rare occasion._

_Me? I haven't had the privilege (HA) to get my period yet so I'm perpetually stuck in the middle lane next to Arnold's lane ironically. There's some comfort and humility in that somehow as I'm not yet ready to show Arnold my growing body or the way its lanky figure looks with a wet suit hugging my body like how my flesh does to my bones._

_The worst part of swimming class, however, is getting done with it. You have to get out of the pool and rush to get to a towel to cover yourself so nobody sees your body now that the suit is practically attached to you. We run (though the teacher always yells at us not to) to hit the showers which is even MORE awkward cause NOBODY (except Rhonda and her crew of crazies) actually full-on showers and we all usually avoid them because, get this, they didn't even give us CURTAINS for privacy. So then we make it to the locker room where we struggle to get the sticky suits off of us while holding the towels as openly as we can to cover our bodies while we change back into our clothes, smothered with the smell of chemicals for the rest of the day. It's miserable._

_I don't know what it's like for the guys, but for the girls it's a shamefest. We're so scared of showing our bodies to one another (well, SOME of us that is) and to the boys, that the entire class is just a class of misery fueled by embarrassment hinted with a dash of actual knowledge that it hardly seems like it should be a class at all._

_And THAT'S why I hate swimming class and winter altogether._

_I'll have to ask Arnold what HE thinks of swimming. That is, if he forgives me for my crazy outburst from the other day._

_Already ready for spring,_

_Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

_So after I apologized to Arnold for being so horrible to him the other day, I talked to him about what he thought about swimming class. Turns out we have some of the same fears and I didn't even realize it._

_We sat in his room, working on homework, when I turned to look at him while chewing on my pen's cap. "Hey Arnold?" I asked and he turned to face me._

" _Hmm?" He hummed and I dropped my pen to my side to fiddle with it between my fingers._

" _So that uh... that swimming class, huh?" I said and he raised his brow at me._

" _What about it?"_

" _Well I don't know!" I snapped before stopping and turning my head down to look at the pen as I continued to fidget with it. "I mean... I guess I just really hate it, you know?"_

" _Why's that?" He wondered and I shrugged my shoulders feeling timid and afraid of my own words._

" _I guess," I started, "I guess because it's so... WEIRD, and all. I mean...making us parade around like that."_

_Arnold furrowed his brow in confusion. "Like what?"_

" _Maybe you don't get it because all YOU have to wear is swim trunks but US? We have to wear those GOD AWFUL swimming suits and-"_

" _How are they any different than a swimming suit you'd wear at the beach?" Arnold interrupted me and I turned to look up at him in surprise at his point._

" _I mean, well, I GUESS you're right, but there's something about those USED gross things that EVERYBODY wears. And having to wear them at school in front of... of EVERYONE. People I wouldn't normally wear them in front of. Maybe I'm not comfortable wearing a swimsuit anymore. At least not now." I mumbled and Arnold nodded his head while setting his book aside and turning to face me completely._

" _Helga, are you trying to say that you're uncomfortable with being around us boys?" He asked and blush rose to my cheeks as I solemnly nodded my head._

" _It's just a little embarrassing is all," I finally said and he sighed while nodding his own head._

" _Trust me, I understand."_

" _You-you do?" I asked and he smiled over to me in almost a sad way._

" _I really do. You know, it isn't the easiest for us guys either. Some of us are uncomfortable with our bodies too and wish we didn't have to go to swimming class either. At least you girls have the option of walking around the pool instead." He said blindly and I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms._

" _If you really think we have the option to just walk around versus swimming, then you're even more dense than I thought," I stated and he looked at me, confused._

" _Well then why do the girls get to walk and the boys don't?" He asked and my eyes widened as I realized he really didn't know._

_But of COURSE he didn't know. It wasn't like his grandparents told him about the ways of a woman's body or his freshly brought-back parents. And it wasn't like he had an older sister like I had to tell me what my future body would bring me when it came to puberty._

_Then again, I wasn't the one who was about to tell Arnold all about periods and other such things. I'd leave that to the professionals for the upcoming weeks when health class would cover that topic. For now, I just sat on his bed and stared at him with wide eyes before shaking my head out of my thoughts and taking a deep breath. "We have our reasons, trust me," I told him and he seemed to accept that answer for now and nodded his head._

" _Either way," he said, "Swimming class is just as awkward for us as it is for you, trust me."_

" _You really think so?" I asked him and he nodded his head while looking down at his lap._

" _Especially in the locker room. I imagine ours is just... a lot different than yours. Guys can be... weird and overly confident about... about things."_

" _Things?" I asked and he nodded his head._

" _And if they notice something about you that doesn't fit their image or does fit their image, well, they treat you differently and it can make things... uncomfortable."_

_I nodded my head thinking of Rhonda right away. "I get that," I said with a nod. "I TOTALLY get that. We have girls like that in our locker room."_

" _Let me guess... Rhonda?" He asked and I chuckled and pointed a finger in his direction._

" _You hit the nail on the head, hair boy."_

" _Take my advice and don't let her get to you, okay?" Arnold advised, "Even if you were on her side of things, I wouldn't want you to turn into her. The grass isn't always greener just because you look like someone else."_

" _But I don't, even if I wanted to." I said while looking down and Arnold reached out to tilt my chin upward to face him and he smiled at me._

" _I think you're perfect just the way you are, Helga." He said and I beamed as I looked at him, his words sinking into my every pore._

" _Really?" I asked and he laughed a small laugh._

" _One of these days, I'm going to get you to believe me, Helga G. Pataki," he said before letting go of my chin and letting me shudder at the lack of his touch._

" _We'll see," I teased before we went back to homework and being quiet until dinner came around and we headed downstairs for our usual routine that had become the norm for us at least three times a week. It's funny, spending so much time with Arnold. You'd think he'd be sick of me by now but he never leads on that he is. I know I'LL never get sick of him, but I thought for sure he would of me but he never does._

_I hope he never does. I don't know what I'd do if he ever did._

_Feeling a little better,_

_Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

_Hi._

_I think my hormones are acting up again and at full force this time. And unfortunately, they went to the wrong person this time. Alas, my victim to the poor hormone-infused craze was Stella who of course was understanding and all that, but I still feel bad about it._

_I should probably give you some more details though, shouldn't I?_

_Ugh. Okay, okay, you talked me into it._

_So there I was, standing in the kitchen with Stella helping to make stir fry by cutting up vegetables of various sorts while Stella fried up the meat in a pan on the stove._

" _So how's school?" She asked and I frowned, shrugging my shoulders._

" _Fine I guess," I stated blankly before redirecting the conversation and turning to face Stella. "Do you ever miss your adventures in the jungle and whatnot?"_

" _Sometimes, but I'm just happy to be home," she said with a smile while mixing the meat with some seasoning as it sizzled in the pan._

" _Well Hillwood sucks," my words came out bluntly and Stella turned to face me with a confused look on her face._

" _Why do you say that?" she asked and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _I've been here my whole life. I know better than you." I returned my gaze back down to the snap peas I was cutting the tops off of, "No offense," I mumbled._

_Stella chuckled while taking a taste of her meat mixture and adding another dash of seasoning. "Well you'll have your chance to experience the world. You're still young, you know." she told me but I shook my head defiantly._

" _I doubt it," I said rather frankly, "I doubt I'll ever be able to leave this city."_

" _You will," Stella confidently replied but I continued to shake my head while moving on to cut a variety of peppers._

" _But I won't!" I exclaimed, dropping the knife to the side of the cutting board loudly. "I'll be stuck here all alone." I insisted and Stella set her spoon down to the side of the pan and wiped her hands on her apron before turning to face me and sighing._

" _I highly doubt that," she said calmly, "And besides, you don't know your future."_

" _But I do!" I continued to yell while tears began to well in my eyes, I'm just... just not good enough!" I finally admitted and Stella looked at my sympathetically while tilting her head to the side as she looked at me._

" _Helga, you are good enough. Good enough by far." She told me earnestly, her voice warm and serious though I lashed out at her, my emotions getting the better of me._

" _But what if I'm not, huh?" I demanded to know. "What if I'm not?!" I shouted mid-cry, my voice breaking as I spoke; my fists clenching at my sides with each word that left my mouth. "What if all of this is some lie and I'm really not good enough to leave here or good enough for your son or for anyone for that matter? What if I'm destined to be alone with seven cats that I'm allergic to in some trailer park all by myself with nothing but my hatred for the world and all the people in it?" I huffed after my speech, the sound of my breathing and the bubbling of Stella's stir fry being the only noises between us as I tried to catch my breath while Stella tried to find the right words to say to calm me down._

_After a moment, Stella finally spoke up, her words serious as she talked to me. "Aren't you being a bit dramatic?" She asked as a tear fell down my cheek and I rushed to wipe it away, though she noticed and instead went a different approach with talking to me, her words coming out soft as she attempted talking to me again."Helga, where is all of this coming from?"_

" _I don't even know," I said softly as more tears began to spill over my lids, "I've just been thinking and I realized that I'm not this PERSON who's good like you or Miles or Arnold and I'm not, well, I'm not ANYTHING!"The anger in me spoke up again and Stella remained calm from where she stood, her voice not even trembling at my volume as she continued to be the voice of reason to my unkind words to myself._

" _Helga you_ are _something," she proceeded to say, "You're talented and bright and generous and kind. Those are all traits that will get you far in life if you let them."_

" _But what if they don't?" I asked mid-sob, my emotions getting the better of me and I frowned as the tears took complete control of me though I tried to stop them. Realizing it was no use, I threw my arms up in the air and exclaimed, "Oh criminy, why am I crying?!"_

" _Because you're emotional," Stella explained for me "and that's okay."_

" _No, Stella, it's not!" I yelled back at her but she shook her head while walking towards me to set a hand on my shoulder._

" _It is," she insisted, "It's okay to cry and to feel and to have emotions that are confusing and overwhelming sometimes."_

" _But I get them so much these days," I said while throwing my hands down to my sides in resolution. "I just don't understand. Like this week has been CRAZY with my emotions. Phoebe says it's hormones, but I don't believe her."_

_Stella shrugged her shoulders, the thought seeming to have crossed her mind though she didn't let it show. "It could very well be. You're growing up. That's just what happens."_

" _How do I make them stop?" I demanded to know but Stella merely laughed and shook her head._

" _Well, Helga, you don't. You just learn how to work with them," She explained. "It takes time, but you'll figure it all out. I did when I was your age too."_

" _You mean... YOU cried this much too?" I asked in amazement that such a strong woman could be a blubbering mess like me at some point in her life too._

" _Oh goodness, yes," she said with a laugh before going on, "You're changing. The chemistry of your body is changing too and that brings about new emotions." She squeezed my shoulder before turning around and heading back to the meat that was calling for her attention back at the stove. "But you'll get through it just as I did and just as all girls do. I promise."_

_I sure hope she's right. I don't know what my body thinks it's doing, but I'm pretty sick of it at this point. Either way, I guess I'm just along for the ride._

_Can't wait till health class on Tuesday (insert heavy sarcasm here),_

_Helga G. Pataki._

_._

* * *

_So NOBODY and I mean NOBODY is looking forward to health class tomorrow._

_The air in the class is a tension you couldn't even cut with a knife because everyone knows what we'll be talking about. The big 'P' word. Puberty._

_Who even wants to talk about that? At this point, most of us have had 'the talk' with our parents so it isn't like we haven't heard KIND OF what's going on or will be going on with our bodies and stuff, but health class will consist of awkward videos, creepy diagrams and graceless conversations about the human bodies both female and male._

_And the worst part? They separate us. The girls stay in one room while the guys go off to another so we can talk SEPARATELY about these topics to avoid us of further embarrassment which I GUESS is kind of nice of our teachers to do being as it's such a sensitive topic._

_Oh wait, THAT'S not the worst part. Word on the street is you get GOODIE bags. That's right. You get to walk out of that weird class with bags full of products like deodorant and tampons and other such crap that everyone just laughs about to cut the tension of it being totally creepy and unnecessary. Trust me when I say that if we want that stuff and need it, we'll find a way to get it AKA our parents or in my case, the nurse or somebody._

_The OTHER rumor going around is that they give the guys condoms. Now I don't know if THAT'S true cause I'm sure they don't want 11 and 12 year olds out on the town having sex with each other, but maybe they want to cover their bases or something. I don't know._

_Either way, I know I'M not all that excited about whatever's to come tomorrow in this class. I've been pushing off this day in my head for ages now ever since they made our parents sign the permission slips for it and now that it's actually here, I'm a little freaked._

_Phoebe says there's nothing to be worried about because it's all natural and information that we need to know as we 'go forth with our growing into our new and improved bodies' but I say bull crap and I'd rather just go with the flow of it all._

_But I guess it's something I have to know. I don't know. I wonder how Arnold feels about all this. It's way too awkward of a topic to just ask him so I'd never dream of bringing it up to him just to find out. But I'm sure the kid is just as nervous and overthinking the whole deal like I am._

_Anyway, here's to learning about the human body and hoping I don't die of embarrassment!_

_Helga G. Pataki_

 


	14. Entry 7

_That's it._

_Today was the worst day of my life. And I'm not just being dramatic. It was literally, and by all means LITERALLY the worst day of my ENTIRE life._

_I got my first period._

_And sure, you might be thinking, 'Gee Helga, it was bound to happen, what could possibly be so bad about a little blood?' Well let me TELL you what's so bad about it, shall I?_

_It all started with stupid health class. Our teacher let Mr. Simmons take the boys to his classroom while his students were at lunch and us girls stayed in our classroom with the school librarian Mrs. Alibaster. Then began the presentation- a creepy video that was older than the invention of video itself. And of course, the video was as awkward as I imagined it would be. We all squirmed in our seats as the woman onscreen talked about the different hormones and changes our bodies would go through during puberty while Mrs. Alibaster stood gawkily in the corner watching along with a strange smile on her face as if she were reminiscing fondly of her times back in HER days of puberty. As if THAT were a thing people did._

_Finally, after 15 minutes of excruciatingly bad acting and grainy film, the movie ended and the lights flipped on so that Mrs. Alibaster could ask us if we had any questions which OF COURSE nobody wanted to admit if we did or didn't. I just had to go to the bathroom. But I didn't dare ask to go. I'm sure she wouldn't let me ANYWAY because she'd just think that I was trying to get out of the class._

_So next on the agenda was diagram central, where we got to learn the NEXT horrible section of things... the men's anatomy where everyone was very immature except for Phoebe who kept silent but wide-eyed in almost shock at what she was witnessing. The poor girl. I think they broke her._

_But all the while, I couldn't stop squirming in my seat. My abdomen was killing me and I had to go to the bathroom so bad and the longer I held it, I could have sworn I might pee my freakin' pants._

_That's when the presentation at last ended and I was relieved to see Mrs. Alibaster begin to hand out our little rumored goodie bags full of tampons, pads, and deodorant which everyone looked into and giggled though I just snatched mine and focused harder on holding my bladder which I could have sworn was going to explode from the pain I was in, and I hoped I could get to the bathroom in time before I wet myself. That is, if I hadn't already. I could tell that it was getting close and if I waited any longer, I'd be in some real trouble and might need that pad for other uses._

_At long last, the boys entered the classroom with Mr. Simmons, all of the kids laughing about their goodie bags full of deodorant, and the rumored condoms. Apparently they'd had a much different conversation than we'd had and Arnold came back with rosy cheeks and a shell-shocked expression locked on his face. I felt bad for him. The poor naive kid's giant football-brains had probably exploded. Would he look at me differently now? Now that he knew the truth behind why the girls got to walk around the swimming pool and the guys didn't? Now that he knew why we reacted the way we did around our 'time of the month?' What would our relationship look like now that he knew the truth of what we, what_ I  _would be going through?_

_But I didn't have time to think about that, I could feel something wet soaking in my underwear and I knew that if I didn't leave for the restroom now, it would definitely soak through my skirt and I'd be the laughing stock of the entire grade._

_If only I knew._

_If only I knew that the moment I shot my hand straight up in the air and asked to go to the bathroom. If only I knew that when I stood up and made my way to head out the door. If only I knew that all my classmates had noticed the bright red splotch on my backside that I would be the laughing stock of the grade ANYWAY, maybe I would have left sooner._

_But the fact is I_ didn't  _know, and I proceeded anyway only to hear someone call out after me as I tried to make my way to the bathroom._

" _Is that_ blood _on Helga's skirt?" The voice asked and I turned around to look at my butt and see bright red soaking through to stare up at me._

_The world grew small around me as if I were looking at the butt end of a set of binoculars, my head starting to spin as I stood frozen by the door with my red secret staring out at the classroom._

" _Oh my god!" Harold called out. "Helga got her period! That's so gross!"_

" _Yeah!" Sid chimed in. "What a bloody Mary!"_

_Soon, the class began their chanting, mostly from the boys who were all too willing to give in. "Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary!"_

_I glanced around the room, searching for anyone to come to my rescue, the only kind eyes looking back at me were that of the fellow girls and Arnold who's eyes were kind, but also terrified and I knew immediately that this was the moment I'd lost him, lost him completely._

_My period was the period to our relationship._

_But that was the least of my worries right now._

" _Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary!" The boys continued to chant_

_I turned around and clenched my fists while shouting, "Shut up, you ignoramuses!" before Mr. Simmons finally stepped in to stand in front of me like a human shield and stop the kids from chanting immediately._

" _Kids, kids!" He called out, "This is no way to act, especially after our lesson on the human body. If it's anything that we've learned today, it's that this is a completely normal process for the female body and nothing to be ashamed of." Mr. Simmons turned around to face me with a sad smile on his face. "Helga, why don't you go to my room. In my desk on the bottom drawer is a box of pads just for this occasion."_

_I raised a brow. "But why-"_

" _Don't ask questions, just go there and take a few. I'll talk to your classmates."_

_Tears welled in my eyes though I managed to keep them back. "Thanks Simmons," I said before taking off in the hallway in search of Mr. Simmons' room, quickly finding my old classroom and the said box of pads and then rushing to the bathroom to put the pad on the way the instructions directed me to and then sat on the toilet not knowing what to do next._

_I couldn't just go BACK there. Not with my dress covered in blood. I'd be called bloody Mary for the rest of the day for sure if I wasn't going to be already. Criminy! What was I supposed to do? Just sit in there until school was over? Could I even do that? Surely they'd notice at SOME point that I'd been gone the entire day. But then again, given the circumstances, they might be kind and just LET me seeing all I'd been through already. Maybe they'd take pity on me and just let me hang in the bathroom all day with my Aunt Flo._

_But after a few minutes of self-loathing and inward conversation, the door opened and the clickety clack of heels entered the room and I found myself holding my breath until a voice called out for me._

" _Helga?" A voice I recognized as Rhonda's asked and I raised my brow while answering back._

" _Rhonda?" I mumbled through the stall. "What are YOU doing here? Came to throw pads at me or something like in Carrie? Cause I'm in no mood."_

" _What?" She asked, not understanding my reference, "No, no, I came to uh... to offer help."_

" _Help?" I repeated, confused. "What makes you want to help me? What's in it for you?"_

_Rhonda stopped at my stall and leaned against the door, crossing her ankles together and sighing. "Well, much like you, I too just got my period. Maybe not quite as... publicly... as you, but I know what you're going through." She said as I imagined she inspected her nail-bed. "And I came to offer you some assistance. If you're up for it."_

" _Oh yeah?" I asked, intrigued by her offer, "What's the catch?"_

" _No catch," she said simply, "Here," she warned before throwing a pair of black jeans over the top of the stall to land in my hands. "These are from last season and I've had them in my locker for FOREVER. I was just going to throw them out, but given the circumstances... I think you need them. You have a shirt to wear?" She asked then and I shrugged my shoulders though she couldn't see._

" _I figure I can just wear my undershirt-"_

" _Oh no," she cut me off, "You simply CAN'T be seen wearing THOSE pants with an UNDERSHIRT, my goodness!" She laughed out loud before tossing over a pink sweater next. "Pink isn't really my color," she stated before clicking and clacking her way out of the bathroom before pausing as she got to the door. "And just so you know," she said before leaving, "us girls? We have your back on all of this. Those_ boys _won't have a word in edgewise when_ we're _through with them."_

_And with that, she left the bathroom so I could change my clothes and discard them into the trashcan and inspect myself in the bathroom mirror._

_I looked okay. It wasn't really my style to wear jeans and a sweatshirt, though I'd never really tried before. Hey, maybe this could be a new look for me. Either way, it would have to be at least for the rest of the day._

_Speaking of the rest of the day, it went by slowly but quietly. Nobody said another word and while people mumbled what I thought to be the hints of 'Bloody Mary' all it took was one look from either myself or another girl for them to shut their faces immediately so whatever it is that Princess did or Mr. Simmons said, it must have worked._

_The whole thing was pretty traumatic to be honest. I don't know how long it'll take me to get over the whole thing, but to be honest, i don't really feel all that different. I'm just sort of mad that after everything they learned, the boys STILL had to go and call me names. But then again, boys are dumb and that's that. They're still immature and just being...well...immature._

_So sure, the end of the day was fine, but that doesn't make what happened earlier any better. And that doesn't change the fact that Arnold didn't talk to me the rest of the day or invite me over for the night at all any less hurtful. I know he knew what happened, how could he not? Everyone saw it and everyone made sure that he heard it. I got my period, big whoop, so why did he have to be so immature as to not want anything to do with me because of it? Hadn't he learned ANYTHING in that stupid class of his?_

_I just hope either Miles or Stella will talk some sense into him if he brings it up to them tonight or in the upcoming nights if he continues to ignore me. Surely they'll notice at some point and start asking questions._

_Ugh. Could life GET any worse?_

_Cramped and Cranky,_

_Helga G. Pataki_

_P.S- I guess this explains why I've been so tearful lately, huh?_

_I got a personal call from Stella today._

_Pretty weird, right? I mean, seeing as Arnold hasn't spoken a WORD to me in nearly two days since the incident and all._

_Anyway, she called the beeper store, knowing I'd be there since I have nowhere else to go, and asked for me._

" _Hey Helga, that friend Albert of yours mom is on the phone? She wants to talk to you? Did you do something wrong over there or what?" Bob asked me and I frowned while snatching the phone from his hands._

" _No, I did not," I snapped at him while taking the cordless phone and walking away with it. "Hello?" I asked into the receiver, Stella quick to answer with a smile in her voice._

" _Helga!" She said, "It's so good to hear from you. We've missed you these passed few days."_

_I smiled sadly and nodded my head while looking down at my feet as I approached the back of the beeper store. "Yeah, I've missed you guys too."_

" _So why haven't you been over, then?" She asked and I frowned knowing now that Arnold hadn't mentioned a thing to them about my little experience the other day._

_Figures._

_I scrambled to find an answer before blurting out the real reason why I hadn't been over. "Arnold hasn't invited me," I said before shaking my head and slamming my face into the palm of my hand._

" _He hasn't?" She sounded surprised by this. "That's odd, he said he had but you rejected his offer."_

_Lying, huh? Well THAT'S a new one for Hair Boy... Oh criminy! That means I just ratted him out to his parents!_

_I cleared my throat trying to salvage my response. "I mean," I tried, "he uh, he DID ask me but I uh... I have some uh... some-"_

" _It's alright, Helga." Stella cut me off mid-sentence. "I kind of figured that he hadn't asked you. You usually jump at the opportunity to come over. So I figured I'd call and see what's going on, if you know that is."_

" _Ahh, I see," I said while crossing an arm over my chest. "Going behind your son's back are we?" I asked with a smile and she chuckled over the phone._

" _Sort of. But mostly to invite you over to dinner tonight." She surprisingly stated and I raised my brow at her invitation._

" _Dinner? But Arnold hasn't been talking to me... Wouldn't it be weird if I just showed up?" I asked and Stella sighed._

" _Not at all. Because you'll be_ our _guest, not his." She said and I smirked._

" _Found the loophole, didn't ya?"_

" _So can I count on you to be here?" She asked and I looked to Bob and Miriam before turning around and sighing while nodding my head._

" _Sure. I'll come by and give the football-head a good scare. Maybe he'll actually talk to me again."_

" _That's the plan," Stella said with a grin in her voice and I couldn't help but smile._

_Stella is on my side. His PARENTS are on MY side. OUR side. Now I just had to figure out a way to talk to Arnold after dinner was over._

_Criminy... what am I in for?_

_Helga G. Pataki_

_I got to write this all down before I forget it. Because if I don't, if I forget it, I'm afraid that I'll hate myself forever._

_So we had dinner, an awkward tension-filled dinner where Arnold spent the majority of the time staring at me rather than eating. After we finished, his parents urged us to go up to his room where we spent at least ten minutes sitting in silence before I decided to be bold and break the silence that was filling up the room._

" _Arnold," I said, "it's time for ME to say those words."_

_He glanced up at me without making eye contact and mumbled, "What words?"_

_I sighed, "We need to talk."_

" _Oh," he breathed out and I patted the spot next to me on the couch as he pushed himself up off of his bed to come and sit beside me where I sat._

" _What's UP with you?" I asked before shaking my hands signaling for him not to answer, "No wait, that's not my question, what's up with US?"_

" _Us?" He repeated and I frowned._

" _Did I STUTTER?" I snapped at him and I sighed before looking down at my lap. "Sorry, I'm just really stressed because you've kind of hollowed me out lately."_

" _Yeah," he said quietly, "I guess I kind of have been, haven't I? I really didn't mean to," he stated quietly._

" _Then why HAVE you been? It isn't because of... the... you know..." I managed, unable to speak the truth about the reasoning I suspected him of as to why he hadn't been speaking to me but he shook his head vehemently._

" _No, no, no, Helga, no," he quickly said, "that's not the reason why I mean, it's_ kind of _the reason why but not for the reasons that you think."_

_I raised a brow at him, a frown soon taking over my expression. "Than what could possibly be your reasons, huh? Because right now it just seems like you're on team bloody Mary."_

" _I'm not," he insisted before reaching out and taking one of my hands, the first of his touch that I'd had in days. "The reason sounds stupid, I'm sure, but honestly, it's because I just... I just didn't know what to do or how to react. I didn't know how to help you and I thought... well I thought that Phoebe would be better help to you than I ever could. At least in this situation."_

" _But you're my BOYFRIEND," I blurted out before stopping completely, realizing we'd never officially labeled ourselves in front of each other before and sat silently before each other before Arnold finally spoke up._

" _You're right," he said, "I am," he confirmed at long last, "and it wasn't right of me to just abandon you when you went through all of that or to not stand up to all the guys when they were... chanting that about you."_

" _Yeah..." I trailed off while playing with a strand of hair though Arnold was quick to stop me by tucking the strand behind my ear._

" _I'm sorry, Helga," he apologized, his tone honest and sincere._

_I shrugged my shoulders, looking down at my hands and sighing. "It's fine."_

" _But it isn't. I shouldn't have just ignored you. Even Gerald told me I should have manned up."_

_I turned to look at him with a raised brow. "He did? Tall Hair Boy said that?"_

_Arnold nodded his head a small smile on his lips. "Yeah, he did. He was surprised I didn't stand up for you. Heck, even_ I  _was surprised I didn't but the whole thing happened so fast and I didn't know what to say or do and-"_

_I held a lone hand up and shook my head. "Arnold, it's fine, really. You don't have to explain. I guess. Well.. if the situation had been reversed, I might not have known what to do either."_

_Arnold looked over to me with sad eyes. "Really?"_

_I shrugged my shoulders and let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, what could you do? The whole dang class was practically chanting Bloody Mary."_

_Arnold cringed at the words as they left my mouth but I hardly reacted and instead sighed while changing the subject slightly. "So how was your crazy class? Did Mr. Simmons go easy on ya?"_

_He chuckled while shaking his head. "Hardly. He just kept saying how 'special of a process puberty is' and how the 'changes your bodies are going through are something to be celebrated, not ashamed of.'"_

_I rolled my eyes while leaning back to rest on the back of the couch. "Criminy, the guy is still a sap," I said and Arnold laughed while relaxing slightly as well._

" _I mean, it wasn't that bad honestly," he admitted, "the worst part was Stinky, Harold and Sid who kept making comments the whole time and asking stupid questions."_

_I smirked, "What buffoons,"_

_Arnold nodded his head, but waited a beat before speaking again. "I guess it's just their way of dealing with the awkward topic. I'm sure they feel just as weird about everything as we do."_

" _You feel awkward about all of this?" I asked and Arnold looked at me with wide eyes._

" _Are you kidding?" He replied, "Of_ course _I feel awkward. More so than everyone else even because they've all had at least SOME kind of conversation with their parents about this kind of stuff." He sighed. "Me? I've only just met my parents. We've hardly had time to get to know each other more or less have these kinds of conversations."_

" _And your grandparents?" I asked and he shook his head._

" _I mean, we've had THE talk, which was horrible might I add, and some stuff about what I'd go through, but not really all that much about what happens with...with... with you guys." he said with a nod of his head toward me and I nodded my head thoughtfully while turning away from him._

" _I guess nobody wants to have to go through all this puberty mumbo jumbo," I said. "I bet even our own parents had a hard time with it when they were growing up."_

" _Oh I don't doubt that. It seems like an awkward topic no matter how old you are. Was Mrs. Alibaster nice about it with you guys?" He asked and I smirked while folding my arms over my chest._

" _Sure she was NICE about it, but MAN was she WEIRD about it," I explained._

" _How so?" Arnold asked then and I leaned forward on the couch to explain further._

" _Well FIRST of all, she kept coughing into her handkerchief the whole time like she does in the library, you know? And it was always at the weirdest moments in conversation, like, halfway through a sentence or whatever. But I guess that isn't as weird as the fact that during the video, she stood in the corner and watched along fondly like she was remembering puberty like it had been some creepy vacation she'd been on or something." I shook my head with a laugh. "It was just weird, I can't think of another word to describe it."_

" _That's...odd," Arnold said and I nodded my head before adding another thing._

" _Oh! Oh!" I laughed, remembering the memory before recalling it to him, "I almost forgot, when we were doing the slide diagrams, and she was on the male one, she walked right in front of it and stood right where all the male parts were supposed to be and they reflected on her and the whole thing was actually hilarious," I said while laughing again. "It sounds kinda lame but the tension was insane in that room and even the smallest of things brightened up the day."_

_Arnold smirked, "I can only imagine Mr. Simmons doing that with the female diagrams," he said and I pictured it myself before mimicking him._

" _'Oh, oh dear,' he'd say and then struggle with the projector which would only zoom in on the whole thing as everyone would probably laugh, gosh, the guy is SUCH a granola boy." I said and Arnold shook his head._

" _Helga, you're terrible." He said mid-laugh and I stuck my chin up proudly._

" _I sure try, football-head."_

_Arnold took a deep breath while reaching for my hand and lacing his fingers with mine suddenly. "Helga," he said, "I'm glad that we were able to talk this out after everything that happened. I really value our relationship and don't want something silly or childish to threaten it ever again."_

_At a loss for words from his sudden seriousness, I simply nodded my head and stuttered out an agreement. "M-me eit-either."_

" _I promise I'll always talk things out with you. No more of my avoiding topics I'm afraid of. Only if you promise to do the same."_

_That was one thing I was all too happy to comply with._

_I smiled in his direction and nodded my head while squeezing his hand. "Promise, Hair Boy."_

_So needless to say, Arnold and I are back on track and life is good like it should be. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us as we continue on our backwards journey through adolescence. Even though it may feel weird at times and as awkward as that bogus class we had to go through, but it will all be worth it in the end._

_I can feel it._

_Because things with Arnold just feel RIGHT, you know? They feel like they should be and they feel like the world is spinning the way it is supposed to be spinning and with me and Arnold at the very tip top like the axis. Like the world is moving just for us._

_I've never been happier, journal. I just hope this feeling lasts forever._

_On Cloud 9, no, Cloud 10,_

_Helga G. Pataki_


	15. Entry 8

_Hello my glorious, fine, splendid journal!_

_Arnold has asked me on a date! Like an official date!_

_Oh, be still my fast-beating heart, how it throbs for your presence even though we are officially an item and I see you all the time so it isn't like it's a huge deal anymore but OH, how it IS! How I long for another night by your side with just the comfort of your warm embrace and even warmer heart. How I yearn for that moment when our eyes will meet from across the table amid the candlelight and the world stands still around us for the briefest of moments... a perfect second shared between the two of us that I can't wait to experience for real like the real young adults that we are becoming._

_This date is gonna be BOMB._

_Arnold said to meet him at the boarding house and we'll walk to Garden DeLucci- the new Italian restaurant that just opened up in town -around seven on Saturday and we'll have dinner like real couples do, just the two of us. No double dates, no chaperons, nobody hanging around us to poke and prod at us as we go about our business. Just the two of us and a romantic atmosphere to surround us as we fine dine and discuss even the most trivial of things about our day. Sure, it might sound boring, but I couldn't look more forward to it. I've wanted to go on a real date with Arnold ever since I can remember and a romantic night out with him at Garden DeLucci seems to fit the bill. I just hope it's going to be everything I could expect and more._

_I can just picture it now..._

_There I am, wearing a pink dress from Olga's stash of clothes that my parents have never thrown away and have boxed instead. It fits me perfectly and hugs to my body in all the right places. I look like a princess, like a jewel from the bottom of the sea, like an angel sent down to earth._

_Arnold is wearing a suit, and he looks dashing. He looks so professional but classy and elegant as though he were a rich man ready to close a business deal and save all of humanity while doing it. He looks handsome as my Prince Charming would and I can't take my eyes off of him._

_And neither can he take his eyes off of me._

_He sees me, his eyes locked on myself as I blush slightly and look away in modesty while pulling out the fan I've brought with to fan at my face to hide the reddening cheeks of my countenance. He then approaches me, an arm reaching out to offer himself to me, an offer for me to take his arm as we walk to Garden DeLucci as we've no car to get there which is fine by me- I've worn flats for this very occasion._

_Also because Arnold is still shorter than me despite his growing growth spurt. He'll get there, but for now, I'll accommodate._

_Anyway, so we get to the restaurant which is dimly lit by that of candles on every table and candles everywhere the eye can see. "Dinner for two?" The hostess asks us and we share a look of adoration towards each other before turning towards the woman and nodding our heads as she gestures for us to follow her through the ornately decorated and adult-oriented restaurant but we don't care- we're in love and that's all that matters in this restaurant. Couples surround us as they hold hands across the small tables and speak sweet nothings to each other before their food arrives. It's exactly the kind of place we wish to be in. The perfect place for our first official date._

_We sit at our table, Arnold pulling the chair out for me in true gentlemanly fashion, and I take my seat as he takes his just ahead of me. We sit facing each other, our eyes deep into the others, his a sea of green that I'm lost in and wish never to be found again. Him, floating in the pools of blue that are my irises, a sense of coolness surrounding him at the sight. We stare at each other for a long while, soaking in our love for one another before the waiter comes to our table and asks us what we'd like to drink._

_Arnold asks for a tea, his favorite drink at restaurants as they usually infuse it with raspberries. Me? A cool glass of water to go with whatever pasta I'm sure to have. The waiter leaves us alone again to look at our menus but we can't stop looking at each other, Arnold reaching out for my hand from across the way._

" _Helga, my pet," he says while stroking my hand with his thumb, "How I've longed for a moment like this with you."_

_I smile, my heart leaping in my chest as I nod my head and then move to rest my chin on the back of my free hand and stare over at him. "I know. I as well have longed for this, yearned for this very moment. A moment alone with the love of my life."_

" _And who might that be, my angel?" He asks and I roll my eyes while looking back at him._

" _You, doi," I say and he chuckled while squeezing my hand._

" _I know, I know, I just wanted to hear you say it again," he says and I swoon at his words as the waiter appears again to ask us what we'll have._

_I order lasagna. He orders spaghetti. Traditional, but sure to be good in this fancy of a restaurant._

_When our meal comes, we dine finely with poise and composure in the most distinguished of ways. Arnold smiles over at me midway through the meal and I glance up from my lasagna with a strange look on my face._

" _What?" I ask._

" _Would you like to try some?" He asks and I nod my head with a grin as he takes a lone noodle into his mouth and then offers the same noodle to me, lady and the tramp style._

_I lean over the table and take the noodle into my mouth as we begin to suck in inward as our mouths become closer and closer until our lips finally touch and we share a longing kiss._

_We pull away then, chuckling to ourselves at the moment we just shared. "Sorry, I just wanted to try that once," Arnold said and I shrugged my shoulders, glad that we'd tried it as it ended up being a sweet moment between the two of us._

" _I liked it," I stated._

_We finish our meal and the waiter asks if we want dessert which of course we say yes to. We order the chocolate-est of cakes and get two spoons with it to share, though Arnold insists on feeding me with a smile on his face._

" _My love, let me feed you," he says and I raise my brow._

" _Feed me?" I ask and he nods his head._

" _So that I might pass this cake through those gorgeous lips of yours," he says and I blush at his words while nodding my head allowing him to surpass the first bite of cake passed my lips._

" _Mmm," I hum at the taste of the chocolate delight that enters my mouth and Arnold soon takes a bite himself to taste it's glorious chocolate infused goodness._

" _This is some good cake," he compliments and I nod my head in agreement._

" _You're telling me," I said but he sets his fork down and looks deep into my eyes._

" _But nothing is as good as being here with you tonight, my sunshine, my light, the twinkle of my eye." He says and I place a hand over my heart._

" _Oh Arnold..."_

_We finish our date and Arnold picks up the check like a true gentleman. He then helps me into my coat and takes my hand as we exit the establishment; headed back to the boarding house to wind down from our most romantic of first dates that any 11 and 12 year old have ever had in their life._

_Once we reach Sunset Arms, we stand out on the stoop as a fresh set of fluffy snow begins to fall from the sky and I look up as a few snowflakes fall to set on top of my lashes as Arnold reaches out to brush them off of me._

" _I love the snow," I say and Arnold's eyes remain on me as he speaks his next words, words he's never said before until now._

" _I love you."_

" _Y-you do?" I stutter out as he nods his head._

" _You're perfect, Helga G. Pataki. My perfect match- my soul mate. I'm so happy to be with you. Come here," and with that, he pulls me in to share a passionate kiss with me, one full of love and care like I've always dreamed._

… _...And THAT'S how our date will go. I just know it. The prize of fine dining mixed with romance and ambiance all together under one roof only to end under the beauty of the night sky._

_I can't WAIT until Saturday._

_Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

_I told Phoebe about my upcoming date with Arnold, and she seemed more concerned than excited for me which was honestly a little disappointing._

_I sat on her bed while she sat on the floor, papers for various homework assignments spread out among her like the petals of a flower where she was the center. She held in her hand a pencil that she kept tapping her lip with while in deep thought, though I was quick to bring her out of it._

" _So Arnold asked me out," I said with a wiggle of my brow. "On a date."_

_She glanced up at me from her work. "Oh?" She asked slightly surprised. "That took him quite a while to reach such a decision as to ask you on one."_

" _Cripes, I know, right?" I stated with a small laugh while leaning back on her bed onto the heels of my hands. "I mean we've hung out plenty of times, but this is gonna be our first real DATE."_

" _And are you sure you are prepared for such a date?" Phoebe asked suddenly and I raised my brow at her odd question._

" _Well DOI I'm ready, what kind of question is THAT?" I demanded and Phoebe merely shrugged her shoulders while returning her attention downward at her papers._

" _Please don't take my concern for animosity, Helga, I simply want to make sure you are braced for that of your very first date. It will be one that marks an important first in your life." She said with empathy and I nodded my head while narrowing my eyes in her direction._

" _I know," I said rather rudely, "that's why I'm EXCITED like you should be for me."_

" _I'm sorry, Helga. It isn't that I'm not excited for you. First dates are something to be celebrated, indeed." Phoebe said with a fond smile, probably remembering that of HER first date which she went on ages ago back in the summer shortly after we returned from San Lorenzo._

_But Arnold clearly wanted to take things slow. We spent most of the summer just hanging out and getting used to the idea of transferring from bully to victim to boyfriend and girlfriend. It was a lot to take in and dates were sort of the last thing on our minds. Well, his, I suppose. I of course had been thinking about it the whole time._

_But I wasn't some jerk. I respected his wishes and knew it wasn't my place to ask him out on a date if he wasn't ready yet to go on one. And besides, I kind of wanted HIM to be the one to ask ME because we both knew that_ I  _was ready to go on a date with him, but the matter of him was always up in the air. Waiting for him to make that first move proved to make the moment even THAT more special._

_I just wished Phoebe saw it that way and saw how important this moment truly was for me._

" _So when is your big date, Helga?" Phoebe asked then, pulling me from my thoughts and I turned to face her and answered her question._

" _Tomorrow, Saturday at 7. We're going to that new Garden DeLucci place on Elm." I said with a smile though Phoebe just nodded her head._

" _A family restaurant. That's... different. I would have suspected you two would have chosen something more romantic like Chez Pierre or Chez Paris."_

_My eyes widened at her statement as I took in her words. "FAMILY restaurant? Like... kids and teens and... and FAMILIES? No candles and romance up the butt?" I asked and Phoebe shrugged her shoulders._

" _Honestly I'm not exactly sure. I haven't had the opportunity to go to Garden DeLucci as of yet." She said and I let my arms buckle so I could fall back onto the bed and lay down while my head began to spin._

" _We just wanted to try someplace different," I mumbled while pulling one of her pillows to lay on my face and continued speaking into it. "The name sounded like a true Italian restaurant."_

" _I'm not sure what you said, Helga." Phoebe stated and I pulled the pillow away from my face and leaned upward._

" _What?"_

" _Could you repeat that? The pillow was blocking your words from projecting to my ears."_

_I frowned and projected to her loud and clear. "I THOUGHT that it would be a nice ITALIAN RESTAURANT." I sighed and rolled over to lay on my stomach, my hands moving up to rest under my chin as I lay. "Italians are supposed to be really romantic with their love of wine and all that stuff, aren't they? I thought it'd be a good fit...And something DIFFERENT than Chez Paris for once in a blue moon."_

_Phoebe nodded her head, taking this in before responding. "It still might be, you have yet to experience the place so if I were you, I'd go forth with the date and give it a chance. After all, it isn't about_ where  _you eat, it's about_ whom _you're eating with."_

_She had a point. It wasn't about all that atmosphere and ambiance and music and candlelight and fancy waiters who only spoke the language of their restaurant and all that... it was about being with Arnold and only Arnold. I had to focus on that and not the fact that we'd be eating at some a-typical restaurant that probably served less-than-original cuisine while children screamed bloody murder all around us. At the very least, they might have some pretty cheap deals._

_Either way, I was just lucky to be finally going on my date with Arnold and I had to look at it like that or I'd just be disappointed. Maybe the date WASN'T going to turn out like I'd written before with everything going exactly as planned and perfect to the nine the way I'd imagined, but it would be perfect for US and that was what was important. Like Phoebe said, this was my first date and an important first in my life. I had to take that at face value and know it wouldn't be perfect but it would be memorable because for the rest of my life there would never be anything like it- this was the first._

_And I was with my first love. It would be an evening of firsts._

_What could be more perfect than that?_

_Helga G. Pataki_

* * *

_So I just got back from my date with Arnold._

_And before I go ruining anything with my sarcasm or impeccable wit, I'll just start at the beginning and work my way through the date so you can get a gist of it and judge it for yourself._

_But needless to say, my heart is so full I can hardly take it._

_The night started with me digging through Olga's box of dresses trying to find the pink dress I had imagined wearing on my perfect date night- one that she wore in middle school when I was just a tot. Once I found it and put it on, I realized that the chest part was too big for me and I frowned as I knew that I couldn't wear it. It was too big!_

_Darn Olga and her stupid body and MY stupid body and stupid puberty altogether._

_So instead I put on the nice sweater Rhonda had given me and a red skirt from a while back with a nice pair of shoes, only to look over myself and sigh. "This is NOT what I pictured," I muttered to myself before glancing at the nearby clock and realizing I was late to make my way to Sunset Arms._

" _Ahh, Criminy! I'm late!" I told myself before grabbing one of Olga's old purses that I'd thrown a few random things inside, reached for my coat, and headed out of the emporium to make my way to the boarding house, just making it there by 7:05._

" _Why hello there, Helga," Miles answered the door and let me inside from the cold air of the outside world. "Come on in, Arnold is just finishing getting ready."_

_Oh good, I thought, at least he wasn't WAITING for me._

_Arnold finally came down from his room wearing khaki pants and a nice shirt with a tie; rubbing the back of his neck as he saw me and my raise of brow at his attire. "I kind of out-grew my suit," Arnold explained and I shrugged my shoulders realizing puberty had screwed him over too._

" _It's fine. The dress I was gonna wear didn't fit either," I said and we both chuckled at our lack of luck in the dressing department._

" _Are you sure you kids don't want us to give you guys a ride down to Garden DeLucci? It's really no trouble at all..." Miles offered but Arnold and I shook our heads as Arnold gave his reasoning why._

" _No, it's just down the street really," he said, "so it isn't that long of a walk."_

" _Well, if you say so, son," Miles said with a smile while opening the door for us as Arnold put on his coat. "Have fun you two. We'll see you guys soon."_

_So off we went to Garden DeLucci, the wind blowing my hair all about my face and mixing with the only makeup I'd decided to put on- lip gloss. Soon my hair was covered in the goop and it was spread all across my face and I was more than uncomfortable._

_By the time we made it to the restaurant, my hair looked like a rat's nest and I had pink gloss all over my facial features, so I rushed to the bathroom as Arnold found us a table._

" _I can't BELIEVE this is happening..." I told my reflection as I used a wet paper towel to wipe off the gloss from the various places on my face. "Just calm down, Helga. The date hasn't even really STARTED yet so you have time to save this," I continued talking as I smoothed out my hair as it cascaded down my shoulders out of their usual pigtails for once in their life. With a deep breath, I nodded to myself before turning around and heading out of the bathroom to find the table Arnold was sitting at towards the back of the restaurant; him already looking at the menu and scratching his head._

" _See anything good?" I asked as I sat down in the booth and scooted inside._

" _I was looking at the gnocci," he said, pronouncing it oddly correctly and I frowned, wanting him to order the spaghetti._

_Over the roar of children screaming and the talking of those around the restaurant, I hollered without much dignity,"How about the spaghetti?" I suggested, " I'm sure it's real good coming out of an Italian place."_

" _Eh," Arnold said while still looking at the menu, "I'm feeling adventurous tonight." He grinned but I wasn't feeling his feeling._

_I wanted SOME part of my stupid imaginary date to come true, and that was the spaghetti, lady and the tramp style. Couldn't I at least have that?_

_But apparently not, as Arnold ordered the g-no-ck-ee thing and I scrambled to order what I wanted versus what I wanted my perfect date to order._

" _And you miss?" The waiter prompted and I thought long and hard before finally ordering._

" _Spaghetti. I'll have the spaghetti, please."_

 _So it was settled._ I'd  _have to take the initiative in making this date extra special because we were in a family oriented restaurant wearing church clothes surrounded by screaming children and their disoriented parents and not even a candle in sight. I HAD to have my moment. I had to have SOMETHING._

_When dinner finally came, I chose to eat a few bites before finally making my move and offering Arnold some of my spaghetti._

" _You wanna bite?" I asked and he shook his head while taking a bite of his own food._

" _I think I'll pass." He said and I frowned while spinning a lone noodle around my fork and handing it to him._

" _Let me rephrase that, you_ want _a bite." I ordered, though Arnold merely chuckled and shook his head again._

" _No Helga, I'm really fine with my own food, but thanks anyway." He politely refused but I wasn't having it. Not this time._

_Mustering some courage, I unrolled the noodle from my fork and offered him one side of it as I stuck the other end in my mouth. "See what I'm doing here?" I managed while holding the noodle in between my lips and Arnold raised a brow._

" _You really want me to do that? Here?"_

_I narrowed my eyes and he knew to take me seriously. "Well, alright then," he muttered, taking the other end of the noodle into his own mouth and I sighed in content knowing what we were about to do._

_We were about to Lady and the Tramp our spaghetti, just like in my fantasy._

_We slurped away at the noodle, our faces inching closer to one another's though my gaze was more lustful than Arnold's, and once our lips were about to meet, I knew this was going to be the takeaway moment from our date tonight._

_If only Arnold's stupid nose hadn't gotten in the way._

_With a big SMASH our noses slammed together and we pulled away instantly while rubbing our noses hastily from the altercation they'd just been though with each other. "Criminy! That should have worked!" I exclaimed and Arnold sighed while continuing to rub his nose._

" _You know, if you wanted me to kiss you, you could have just asked," he said plainly and I frowned while dropping my hand from my nose._

" _I wanted it to be ROMANTIC, not just some simple kiss."_

" _I think every kiss is romantic," Arnold said simply and I froze, realizing he was right._

_This date didn't have to have candles and fancy clothes and ambiance to be special or romantic. All it had to have was the two of us together to be special and important and the best first date we could have, I was just focusing on all the wrong things._

_With my new change of attitude, the rest of our night went perfectly. We talked about school, laughed at how ridiculous my vision of our date had been and held hands as we shared our chocolate dessert, though he didn't feed me, criminy, that'd be weird._

_As we went back to the boarding house, a soft blanket of snow began to fall from the sky and I chuckled as I held my hands out to catch some of the stray flakes as they fell down to earth. "I love the snow," I mused as Arnold nodded his head._

" _I do too. That and the rain." He noted and I grinned looking towards him._

" _You really are something else, football-head," I said and he raised his brow in confusion at my comment._

" _How so?"_

" _You just...are." I finalized before looking back up to the sky as the fluffy flakes continued to dance downward upon us. "It's funny, that THIS would be the part of my fantasy that would come true."_

" _Oh really?" Arnold asked as we stood just outside his front door. "The snow?"_

" _Yeah," I said, my eyes still focused up on the sky._

" _What else did you predict?" He wondered and I shrugged my shoulders._

" _Just that you'd say some romantic stuff to me and you'd pull me in for an embrace and it would perfectly end the night. Pretty ridiculous, huh?" I said with a laugh, though Arnold wasn't laughing. I turned to face him from the sky and saw that he was staring at me, his eyes baring through my soul and I swallowed hard as he played with his hands for a moment before he began to speak._

" _I had a really nice time tonight," he finally managed to say, "you're so funny and smart and fun to be around and altogether one of the greatest girlfriends a guy could ask for."_

_I stood aback, completely shocked by his words. "I-I am?"_

_Arnold nodded his head, fully committed to what he was saying. "You are. And honestly, even though your expectations for tonight were pretty high, I hope that you realized that being together is what makes a night special, not the place we go to."_

_I smiled a warm smile at him and nodded my head. "I did. I did realize that."_

" _Good. Because that's what I want you to take away from this date for our next one."_

" _Our next one?" I questioned and he nodded his head._

" _I figured Saturday could be our date night. We could do things on Saturday that will be just the two of us. What do you say?"_

_I grinned at his idea and nodded quickly. "Yes! Yes, Arnold, I'd love that."_

" _Good," he said while reaching for my hands and pulling me close to him. "i would too. You know what else I'd like?" He asked and I found my breathing picking up the closer I got to him._

" _Wh-what's that?"_

" _To kiss you," he murmured but before I could come out with a response, his lips were on mine and we shared in a long kiss just under the stars and the snow as it flaked down upon us under the vast moonlight._

_Oh journal, it was wonderful. A positively perfect first date, even despite all the craziness that I allowed myself to believe in before._

_How could I think anything but? Being with Arnold is...magical. He makes all my problems go away and without him around, I'd surely go crazy._

_I already can't wait for_ next  _Saturday!_

_Helga G. Pataki_


End file.
